Page 22 of Erik

“You don’t want to go?” Erik pulled an uncomfortable face, and I set my taco down to grab my drink. “Why not?”

“It’s my whole family that gets together— aunts, uncles, cousins, literallyeveryone. My parents live on a ranch in South Carolina, and things get really crazy really fast. Plus, I don’t like my sister that much.” Curiosity sparked in my chest, and Erik ran his hand over his head roughly. “She’s one of, like, less than a hundred women in the Marines combat battalions, and she thinks she’s the shit because of it. It’s beyond annoying. I know it’s an achievement, but she needs to learn to knock it down a notch or three.”

“Oh, does she think she can beat you in everything?”

“Okay, to preface this, I’m not a misogynist by any means, but . . . my sister thinks we’re equals in everything because she’s a Marine. There’s nothing special about her being a Marine combatant. Hundreds of thousands of people have done exactly what she did. The only difference is that she’s a woman, but she’s the only woman in the family in the military, so she gets treated like she’s amazing, and she’s not. She’s averageat best.” Giggling a little at how put out Erik was, I covered my mouth with the back of my hand, and his cheek twitched as he cast me a warm glance. “Plus, I’m a firm believer that women have their strengths and men have theirs and there’s a reason ‘equal’ is dangerous.”

“I don’t think I could kill someone like that. My mom, well, that’s different, but . . . ” Nodding in understanding, Erik got the point I couldn’t articulate, and I sighed softly as I sat back in my own chair. “Isn’t being a SEAL, like, more intensive and stuff than being a Marine?”

“The Marines are the ones that go save everyone, and we’re the ones that go save them. They’re just lifeguards.” Waving his hand in dismissal, Erik picked up his second taco, and I cocked my head curiously. “Plus, they break everything. Literally, they destroy shit and go through equipment like no tomorrow. It’s no wonder the military budget is friggen massive.”

Humming softly, I watched him take a bite of his taco, and Erik met my gaze with questions swirling in his eyes.

“So, is that why you hate CPS?” Frowning at the probe as Erik swallowed his mouthful, I licked my lips heavily as nerves tingled on my tongue. “Because it’s normal, and they try to force it on you that it’s not.”

“Oh, yeah. When we got CPS called on us that one time, they tried to separate us.” He choked a little in surprise, and a sourness tainted my expression as I turned to glare at my half-eaten taco. “They were so concerned about our mom being high as a kite, but they had nowhere to put us both together. The lady that showed up said we were going to different homes for the week, but we weren’t little kids at that point.”

“What did you do?” Memories flashed behind my lids when I blinked, and I bopped my head side to side with a thoughtful hum. Remembering back then was so hard— the feelings were there, but I’d blocked out the images at some point.

“I asked her why she thought that being with our mom was worse than separating us. Valerie and I are fraternal twins. When this lady said it was because our mom was a drug abuser and dangerous, I asked her how she was dangerous if she was so high out of her mind that she couldn’t move. She couldn’t answer that one. It went downhill for her from there.” Truthfully, I didn’t remember details from that day, only that it happened, and that the CPS lady had slunk off in defeat. As a thirteen-year-old, I learned the government was bad, the teachers were bad— everyone was bad. No one could be trusted not to rat us out, even though it was with good intentions.

That was why the saying ‘The road to Hell is paved with good intentions’ is a fucking saying in the first place.

“Do you want to come with me to South Carolina, Natasha?” The offer surprised me, and Erik pursed his lips in determination as I stiffened. “We can start there on the map. It’s about a thirteen-hour drive, though.”

Opening my mouth only to close it, I rolled my lips between my teeth against the dread that clenched my gut, and I found myself nodded as panic descended on my mind. Erik reached along the edge of the table to touch my hand, and I sucked in a sharp breath as goosebumps surged up my arm. His eyes blazed with warmth and satisfaction that I’d said ‘yes’, and I blinked at the brightness of them.

23

Erik

My phone rang,again, and I sucked in a huge, calming breathing as irritation threatened to close my airways. Glancing in the rearview mirror absently, I pursed my lips thinly as Natasha stared dazedly out the window. Tapping the screen on my dash to answer the call, I ground my teeth as I turned my narrowed gaze back to the road.

“Dad, you’ve never called me so often in my entire life, what the hell do you want?” My snap reverberated off the windows and ceiling of my car, and I turned onto my street as I gripped the wheel with white-knuckle tightness.

“Uh, who snapped your bayonet, Erik?” Groaning loudly, I flopped my head against the rest as my brother’s amused voice filtered through the car’s speakers. “Didn’t you check who was calling? More importantly, I was calling because you’ll never guess what I just found out.”

“Jason.” But my older brother wasn’t listening to me, and he practically screamed into the receiver with joy. Wincing when the screech rattled my brain, I automatically looked back as Natasha let out a squeak of shock, jumping in her seat and gripping the buckle tightly, like she’d unfasten her seatbelt and jump out the window. Wide, brown eyes met mine in the mirror, and I shook my head silently.

“Oh, man! I’m getting my ass shoved into the Reservist Corp! Finally! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this to get approval? I don’t have to go on deployment anymore!” Surprise rose my brows, and I nearly choked on my own spit as I took the last turn before my house came into view.

“What! That’s great! I bet Mary is really happy.”Okay, going from active to reserves is kinda taboo, but. . . Especially in our family, we either die or, well, there was no other option, really. I got a lot of heat for taking medical discharge, but being a reservist is even worse in my dad’s mind. “That’s awesome. Where are you being stationed?”

“Williamston, in South Caroline. I don’t even have to fucking move this time. I haven’t told Mary, yet. I got the news just now. I’m not even home yet.” Smiling broadly, my mood took a soft turn upwards. Mary had threatened divorce if Jason didn’t find a position that got him home consistently, and I liked Mary more than my own sister. “I had to tell someone. I know the kids will be real happy, and Mary will be ecstatic.”

“Yeah, Jason, I’m really glad for you. Congratulations.” Jason was older than me by a good four years, and he was more than ready to be a family man rather than a military man. He hated leaving Mary to raise their three alone all the time, and they were at the point in the marriage where things could still be fixed. “So, where are you right now?”

“I’m in Norfolk. What about you? You couldn’t stand being a cop? I heard you quit.” Word sure travelled fast, and I nodded even though my brother couldn’t see it. “Are you coming down for the weekend? Were you gonna stick around, or go back to New York?”

“Nah, I fucking hate New York. I’ll be there this weekend, yeah. Do you know if Aunt Kathy’s husband is gonna be there?” From the quiet that ensued, I knew he would be, and I frowned as a growl stuck in my throat. “What do you know, Jason?”

“He’ll be there. That’s all I know. Honestly, just that is enough to make me not want to go, but Mom would be offended, but, hey, I’ll see you on Saturday, okay, Erik?” Grunting in acknowledgment, I turned into my driveway as the speakers rippled with a shrillbeep, and I jerked the gear into park before glancing back at Natasha. Curiosity shimmered in her eyes, and my lips thinned as I unbuckled myself and rubbed my face in frustration.

“If you don’t like him, he must’ve done something to deserve it.” Hers wasn’t exactly a question, but I found myself torn between nodding and shaking my head. There wasn’t any one reason I could pinpoint for what Mike ‘must’ve done’, but my siblings and I all hated him.

“Mike’s a really upstanding guy . . . and I hate him. He rubs me the wrong way. Always has in the ten years they’ve been married.” I could never figure out why I didn’t like Mike, but Natasha accepted my answer and unbuckled herself as I flicked up my coat collar. The brief distraction of my brother’s call was dwindling, and worry nagged me as we climbed out of my car. Natasha didn’t want to go home, but the sun was starting to set— at three p.m.— and we’d run out of things to do. I honestly didn’t expect her to agree to coming to my place, but she had.

Now, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I glanced up at my modest, single floor, two-bedroom rental in uncertainty. I wanted to stew on all the shit that Natasha had flung at me, but I’d invited her to be polite. She wasn’t supposed to agree to come here. Twirling my keys around my finger absently, I turned my gaze to her across the top of the car.