Page 29 of Erik

“That’s a dumb question.” Erik pursed his lips thin, concern knitting his brows, and he propped his forearms on his knees to stare at me silently, expectantly. Sniffling hard, I shook my head a little before struggling to stand up, and my knees wobbled dangerously. “I can’t even get a snack without fucking it up. This stopped happening, like, my third year in college. I thought I was over it.”

“It’s happened before? Why didn’t you tell me?” He took my hand, like it would suck the answer out of my soul even though I simply shrugged. Frowning at me, Erik tucked the bottle under his arm to rub his hand through his hair, and I took a deeper, stabilizing breath. “Natasha, maybe you’re not as calm about this as we thought. We don’t have to go to my parents if you can’t handle it.”

“No, I want to go.” Objecting quickly, I ignored the queasiness in my stomach at the notion, but I forced myself to nod. Erik’s eyes narrowed on me searchingly, and I cleared my raw throat roughly as the pain in my chest devolved into a lingering tightness.

30

Erik

Iparked down the road from the entrance to my family’s ranch, but I knew we were late as I climbed out of the car. Natasha had changed in a McDonalds bathroom, and I glanced over the roof as she fluffed out her hair. She downright refused to talk to me about what happened at the rest stop, and I couldn’t figure out why. Obviously, she had a flashback or something, but that didn’t seem like the ones I was accustomed to.

Which was fucked up.Accustomed tomental breakdowns? What the Hell.

“Do you think I look okay?” Snapping from my thoughts, I automatically nodded, and Natasha shot me a playful glare as she fully rounded the front of my car. Holding out her arms, her gaze turned expectant, almost excited, and I scanned her from top to bottom as I rocked back on my heels. She wore a pair of light capris, a thin, silky checkered shirt hanging from her shoulders, and nice, pale blue sneakers. Everything matched, and I nodded before she pulled her hair into a loose bun. “Up or down?”

“Ah, up?” Working her hair tie around and around, Natasha showed off her slender neck, and I smiled appreciatively. Her bracelet jingled lightly, and warmth suffused my chest at the mundaneness of this moment. “You’re very beautiful, Natasha. Do you have an outfit for everything?”

“I packed this specifically.” The flippant admission made her freeze, and I couldn’t help but laugh heartily as she tinged pink up to her ears. “Shut up.”

“How are you feeling?” Changing to subject as I walked over to grab her hand, Natasha and I headed down the road toward the driveway. “You look excited, now that we’re here.”

“I am excited. I mean, why wouldn’t I be?” Inhaling the fresh, damp air of semi-rural South Carolina, I held it for a moment as I thought on that question. Grassy fields stretched about an acre on either side of the road, but I could still see houses poking out of the landscape. I hadn’t grown up here, but I wished I had— it was a beautiful, beautiful place.

“As you may have already figured out, my dad is a huge asshole. The good thing is, if he doesn’t like you, you’ll know it right away. The better thing is that if he doesn’t like you, everyone else will be more inclined to want to like you.” Natasha barked a laugh at my declaration, and I scratched my goatee absently as we walked up the lip of the driveway. There wasn’t much more of a warning I could give her when a car pulled up beside us, and I paused as Mary rolled down the window to smile at me brightly. “Hey, Mary, congratulations on shortening your leash.”

“I almost didn’t recognize you with such a pretty girl on your arm. Your big head gave you away, though.” Swiping out at her with a chuckle, I tightened my grip on Natasha’s hand as she practically hid behind me. Mary’s bouncy, blonde hair shimmered in the strong sunlight of the south, and she leaned over the center console even more. “Hey, Jason came here early, but I had to get the kids from after-school. You want a ride down?”

“Ah, no, thanks. It’s been months since I saw the sun. You know, it’s like thirty degrees in New York right now.” Understanding flooded my sister-in-law’s face as she craned her neck, and I gestured down the driveway. “Good luck with parking.”

“Yeah, right. I’ll just park on the lawn. I don’t care.” She waved a manicured hand before taking off, and I chuffed a laugh as I shook my head. Mary was a firecracker, and I tangled my fingers between Natasha’s as we continued to walk. In New York, it hadn’t snowed until after Christmas, and the cold still blocked out the sun even though it was nearly Spring.

“You said she was a war reporter and that’s how she met your brother, right?” The question kinda threw me, and I cast Natasha a curious glance as she gnawed on her lower lip. “Do . . . do you think she’d be open to talking to me? About war, and who gets caught in the middle.”

“I’m sure she’d be delighted, but you really have to ask her, Natasha.” We were nearly the end of the driveway, and cars sparkled as their shiny paints and edges reflected the sun. The house itself rose up modestly from behind a plain, short fence, but it was behind the structure where the party was. As promised, Mary was parked on the lawn, digging into her trunk, and I tugged Natasha over. “Mary, hey, you need any help?”

“Uh, no. I got it.” Casting her a look, I pursed my lips thinly, and my sister-in-law’s baby blue eyes flickered to Natasha. “But I don’t want to make two trips. There’s a ton of shit in here since Jason ran away before I could pile it on him. Go ahead.”

Releasing Natasha’s hand, I reached into the trunk to grab the cooler, and it was surprisingly heavy.

“What the fuck is in here? Bodies?” Mary scowled as I jostled the rather large, plastic box, and I winced when it tilted hard to the side. “What the shit, Mary?”

“There’s ice and meat in there. Like I said, I couldn’t dump it on Jason. You offered, Erik. Just go . . . go away.” Shooing me off, Mary grabbed two cases of beer, and Natasha grabbed a third, before she used her foot sensor to shut the trunk of her SUV. “You know, you really lucked out. These guys, they know how to avoid deadly situations. What’s your name? Big Head didn’t introduce us. I’m Mary, his sister-in-law.”

Rolling my eyes, I strode for the side of the house and left them to talk. Natasha needed at least one friend, and no one was a better friend than Mary. Music pumped through the air, and I bopped my head to the faint twang of country as it covered the conversations going on.

The back yard, which was really a field, had been decorated to a point with balloons and chairs and games. Tables upon tables of food to feed the fifty-odd people were scattered around, and I skirted the back patio to drop my burden by the grill. My dad had a whole setup, complete with a sink, for some reason, and I set the cooler by the others hiding behind the counter.

“Erik! Hey!” My head snapped up, and I grinned as Jason slid over the counter to grapple me into a hug. Patting his back hard, I closed my eyes to relish the feel of him. We didn’t always have the best relationship, but now that we were in our thirties, it was always a pleasure to see him. Pulling back to hold my shoulders, Jason shook me a little and I shrugged him off before sighing heavily. “What’s up with you, man? You look good. New York must not be treating you as bad as you bitch about.”

“No, it’s that bad. My rental from the precinct is up before the end of the month, and I’m not going back. Screw that shit.” Jason’s eyes bored into mine as they narrowed, and I frowned when he clapped a solemn hand on my shoulder. “What?”

“I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, Erik, but . . . ” Alarm bells rang in my head, and Jason gave a soft sigh and slight shake of his head. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Hey! I’ll kick your ass!” Pushing him a little harder than necessary, I grinned when he barely managed to avoid tripping over a cooler and landing on his ass. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Natasha and Mary appear out from the side of the house, and I lost all interest in my brother. She looked so . . . so . . .

“Is that your girlfriend?” Nodding absently, I stroked my beard as Natasha laughed at something Mary said, and heat flooded my veins. “She’s got some demons, huh. You can tell just glancing at her.”

“She’ll be alright. You know, Jason, it’s like all the shit I went through was to help with her, almost.” There was no point in lying to Jason, and I rubbed my neck and shoulder as he grunted softly in acknowledgment. “It’s tough— tougher than anything I’ve ever voluntarily put myself through.”