Page 31 of Erik

Mark didn’t try to extend his hand. He must’ve been watching when Natasha only shook the girls’ hands. She gave a little wave, and I cleared my throat roughly as I adjusted my grip on the rifle and turned to her.

“Ready to learn to handle this?”

32

Natasha

“I. . . I hit it.” My breathless whisper nearly knocked me off my feet, and my lips quirked up. Heat slithered up my neck, and my sternum tingled as icy prickles swept in waves down my torso. “I hit it.”

“You did on your first try, too.” Thebangof the shot still rang in my ears as I turned to Erik, and he smiled encouragingly. “Try again.”

“Uh, um, n-no. I’ll be one-zero. It’ll be fantastic.” I held out the gun, and Erik nodded with a grin as he took it. Rubbing my hands on my jeans, I inhaled sharply, and the smell of barn wood flooded my lungs. My gut tightened, and I stepped back from the huge barn doors as he shouldered the strap. “It wasn’t as . . . jarring as I expected.”

“The person you shot, did he deserve it?” The question struck me hard, and I turned to Jason as he locked eyes with me. “You never said you didn’t, that’s why I made Cathy leave. If she knew, she’d report you. Cathy’s not a soldier— she just wants to be special, and reporting is the ‘right’ thing to do.”

“It was my mom.” Like Erik, Jason’s cheek twitched, his eyes narrowed, his shoulders tensing. He seemed to grow physically in realization and anger. Scrunching up my nose, I sucked my teeth, and Erik took my hand to rub with his thumb. “She did. Why do you say she’s not a soldier?”

“I mean, she has the title. She’s a soldier in the sense that she’s got the job,but she’s doing it for glory, not for the regular reasons— patriotism, family, free fucking college and job opportunity. Cathy does it to make herself special, to do something very few other women can or want to do. She likes being the good one.”

“She’s not the good one.I’mgood.” My eyes narrowed into slits, and my lip curled as I clenched my fists by my sides. Jason stiffened, and I pointed my finger in his face as a hard shiver lodged between my shoulder blades. “I’m good.”

“Natasha.” A huge hand wrapped around mine, and I blinked hard, and a horrified gasp breached my teeth. Stepping back, I tore my eyes off Jason to glare at the barn floor, and silence rang in my ears. “Take a breath. It’s okay.”

“I’m okay. I’m sorry, I . . . ” My teeth clicked together hard when I closed my mouth, and I shuttered my eyelids tight to take a deep, calming breath. Rolling my head and shoulders, I exhaled a shuddering sigh, and Jason and Mark both watched me with the same, critical brown eyes. “I’m fine. Just . . . don’t say that, please.”

“Mmm.” Jason hummed softly and I forced my eyes open even as colorful spots assaulted their edges. “I apologize. How about we get back to the party? I could use a beer.”

“You and your sister were on the news.” Speaking up quickly, Mark nodded to himself as his older brother took his gun, and my expression soured darkly. “That’s where I remember you from.”

“You’re probably the only twenty-two-year-old in the world who religiously watches nationwide news on individual outlets online, Mark.” Squeezing my hand comfortingly, Erik, his brother, and I walked back to the gun cases so he could put away the rifle. “Anyway, this conversation is over. We’re not talking about it anymore.”

“I guess it’s not something to dredge up from over ten years ago. I mean, I work for intelligence. I can’t help being good with faces.” My brows rose at that, and Mark shot me a sly smile as he rubbed his buzzed head free of dust from the barn. “I’m almost positive no one else will recognize you. It was a lot time ago.”

His attempt to reassure me was endearing, and I simply nodded as the pressure eased off my chest. Rubbing the spot with the butt of my palm, I gulped down the tightness in my throat, and we left the barn to be engulfed in unfiltered, cloudless sunshine. Gazing out at the beautiful landscape, I couldn’t help but be struck by how quaint everything seemed. I’d never been on a farm, and I’d stuck to mid-sized cities that wouldn’t remind me of Dallas.

“Your mom seems really nice.” Changing the conversation none-too-subtly, I could feel her staring even at this end of the yard, and Erik snorted a laugh. “Everyone seems really nice.”

“Oh, damnit.” When we got close enough to feel the music pumping through the air, Erik paused, and I frowned under furrowed brows. “Mike’s here.”

“Don’t bother, Erik. It’s not worth it.” His hand around mine tightened, flashed a little warmer for a fraction of a second, and Jason clapped a hand on Erik’s shoulder hard. Strolling past us, Jason and Mark left us a dozen yards from the edge of the party, and the embarrassment I should’ve felt back in the barn roared up to clench my gut in a vice.

“Oh, my God, that was so damn . . . I can’t believe I did that. I’m so sorry, Erik—" Holding up a hand to stop my apology, Erik smiled sympathetically, and I cleared my throat roughly as he turned to face me fully.

“He didn’t know what set you off, but now he does. It’s alright. No worries.” Gnawing on my bottom lip furiously, I jerked my head in a nod, and he cupped the back of my head to massage my scalp gingerly. “Relax. Jason and Mark are the smart ones around here, but that doesn’t mean anyone else will ambush you. You want me to beat him up?”

“No.” Smiling a little at the offer, I huffed a small laugh, and Erik grinned as the sun shimmered off the smoothness of his crown. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“Just say the word.” We starting walking again, and I caressed the coarse hairs on the back of his knuckles as my mind wandered some. This wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as I was expecting. My excitement earlier had been thickened with anxiety, but no one asked me any questions. There was this air of . . . of relaxation and calm, and no one judged me for what I did or didn’t do . . . at least, not outright.

Of course, they were all simply being polite. They just met me, and Erik never brought someone here before. It could be wariness on his family’s part.

“Hey, Mom.” Speaking up a little louder than he should’ve, Erik tugged my arm gently, and I blinked hard before his mom appeared. She wore her greys and wrinkles well, and an automatic smile stretched my lips as a tightness strained my heart. “What’s up?”

“I’m taking grill orders. What do you two want? We got steaks, hotdogs, hamburgers, and porkchops . . . ” Trailing off, Erik’s mom arched a brow quizzically at me, and I blurted out the first thing on her list. Questions swirled in her hazel eyes, but she kept them to herself as she turned to her son. “I already know you’ll pick a burger.”

“You know me so well, Mom.” She rolled her eyes, flashing a smile with white teeth before walking off into the crowd, and I crossed my arms over my stomach as it grumbled hungrily. “See, told you she would keep her mouth shut.”

“Yeah, I believed you, Erik.” We started walking again, the longish grass tickled my bare ankles, and I inhaled the fresh, warm air to sigh heavily. “It’s kinda surreal, to be honest.”