Page 16 of Erik
Natasha
“I’m just saying, I told a lot of lies in California, but that was a long time ago, Theo. How come you’re still grumpy about it?” The loud giggle that echoed around the kitchen drew my attention, and I turned as I lifted my wine glass to my lips. Illya sat on Theo’s lap, just as tipsy as me, and she poked him in the chest as envy flooded my own. “What would foster care do to me at sixteen, huh? They’d stick my ass in a group home I’d run away from anyway.”
“I don’t think that’s helping, Natasha.” Tensing when Erik took my glass from me, I frowned when he downed the rest in one gulp without releasing my gaze. “Really, you need to slow down.”
“It’s not called ‘liquid courage’ for nothing.” His eyes narrowed at my slur, and I scrunched up my face as he set my glass on the counter, far away from me. My gaze slid back to Illya as she drunkenly hung over Theo, and my cheeks heated as a nasty frown twisted my lips. They looked happy— everyone was so fucking happy. Illya found someone who accepted her. Valerie found someone who protected her. What the Hell was so damn wrong with me that I could only watch and not participate?
“Do you want to go sit down somewhere?” Erik didn’t wait for my mind to catch up enough to protest, and I tensed when he gingerly wrapped his mammoth palm around mine. Stiffness gripped my muscles, but his eyes never wavered from mine as he practically dragged me into the living room. Sitting on the sofa, I didn’t dare blink, and Erik sat on the edge of the coffee table to very gently hold my fingers in both his hands. “What happened earlier? If you didn’t feel safe, you should’ve told me to leave, and I wouldn’t hold it against you, Natasha.”
Rolling my lips between my teeth, I ducked my head to stare blearily as Erik rubbed my fingers between his. His hands were rough and work-hardened, and he touched me with unexpected gentleness. Warmth slithered up my arm, and the alcohol on my tongue tingled my buds as I inhaled shallowly to sigh.
“They’re different.” My voice slurred slightly, and my head became heavy as I licked my lips heavily. “Not so different, though. That’s what sucks the most— there’s nothing you can do that hasn’t already been done.”
“There’s one thing. Right?” That lifted my eyes, and I followed Erik’s bulging muscles as they strained when he inhaled deeply. He squeezed my hand, barely noticeable, and my breath hitched as my gaze snapped down again. “If there’s one, there has to be more.”
“Oh.“Holding hands.Humming softly in agreement, I curled my fingers around his as a wistful, small smile tilted my lips. “You’re right . . . yeah.”
Puffing a hot breath, my head swam as the almost alien notion of content swept through me, and I closed my eyes again to save it. There was nothing greater than being close to someone. When was the last time a guy took my hand instead of going right to my hip? The raves and pulsing, drug-fueled, alcohol-crazed parties I went to before . . . everyone was trying to score.
“It’s so stupid.” My murmur knocked my head back a little, and I glanced up under heavy lashes as Erik pursed his lips over a tense set of his jaw. “It was a good idea at the time.”
“I’m sure it was. I’m surprised your liver isn’t dead by now.” Snorting a little giggle, I sniffled hard, and boozy flames licked up my cheeks at the gravity dragging down his features. “Nat, you can’t keep living like this. I don’t know how much of this you’ll remember in the morning, but you have to let go or it’ll eat you alive.”
“Your opinion isn’t so bad sometimes.” Blinking blearily, I pulled a face as I sat up straight, and my brain banged against my forehead from the sudden movement. Erik tensed, his grip on me tightening ever so slightly, and it took me a second to realize someone was knocking on the front door. Standing up, I almost tripped on Erik’s boot, and our contact broke when I held my hands out to stabilize myself.
Valerie and Carlyle stood on the other side of the door, and my eyes widened in surprise as she cast me a mock, stern look. Neither of them looked like they’d slept a wink yet, still in their clothes from yesterday, and I scrunched up my face as my sister crossed her arms over her chest.
“Why weren’t we invited, huh?” My mouth dried, and I stammered a little in my drunken stupor as my brain struggled to catch up. Stepping to the side, I could only nod as words failed me, and my heart strained against my ribs. “You didn’t put any music on or anything?”
Posing the question as she breezed past, Valerie pulled her hair over her shoulder, and I shook my head dumbly. Carlyle cast me a frown, his brow creased in what I dared suggest was worry, but I ducked my head to hide my own frown as sourness invaded my mouth. Shutting the door slowly, my mind went into overdrive, and I wiggled my fingers by my sides as Valerie went straight to the kitchen to pick at the leftover tacos.
“I thought you two would be busy banging to want to come down and eat my food.” My voice sounded different even to me compared to a few seconds ago, and I leaned on the entryway to the kitchen to frown. My sister tinged pink, whipping around to glare at me, and I grinned broadly. “It’s okay! It’s okay, seriously. I know you’re not gonna stop slobbering for myamazingtacos.”
“I don’t know, Natasha, they’re very good.” Valerie squeaked in embarrassment, swatting Carlyle’s arm, and my grin widened as I nodded. “I didn’t know if this was going to be a frequent thing, but I can assume it will be?”
Confusion wrinkled my nose, and Carlyle nodded behind me with a knowing look. Twisting to catch Erik standing uncomfortably in the living room, alone, I gasped before gesturing him over. He walked stiffly, and I could see the caution swirling in his eyes as he gazed steadily at Carlyle.
“Oh . . . oh, right. Yes, um, this is Erik. He’s my . . . he’s my helper.” Faltering slightly, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up when all eyes were suddenly on me. Carlyle didn’t look the least bit surprised, but Valerie rushed forward to stick out her hand all happy dandy. Clenching my jaw, I couldn’t stop myself from smacking away her outstretched palm, and the atmosphere became deathly still and silent.
Clutching her lose fist to her chest, my sister frowned as bitterness burned beneath my eyelids, and my heart beat way-y-y too fast. She slunk back, grabbing my empty wine glass to fill it and take a gulp, and I blinked back the water in my eyes.
“Natasha, that was mean.” My throat closed, my face threatening to melt right off from the heat that engulfed me, but from anger or something else, I didn’t know. This was exactly why I didn’t invite Valerie, and I ignored Erik’s mumble as it droned far underneath the blood beating in my ears.
“I tell you all the time, don’t be too friendly.” Venom dribbled from my tongue, and Valerie’s wide eyes met mine as I raked my hand through my hair viciously. “How come you can’t not be nice, huh? That’s how you get hurt, Valerie.”
“I just wanted to introduce myself.” Scoffing loudly, I stormed over to Valerie to grab her shoulders and shake, and she dropped the wine glass with a shocked gasp. The shattering of glass, I didn’t even hear it, and I squished her face in both my palms to keep her wide eyes on mine.
“You can’t trust anyone. No one’s going to do anything for you unless they expect something in return. I tell youallthe time! You need to listen to me! You’re nice one time and . . . and . . . and they think you’re interested in something you’re not. I said it . . . I said it, but you . . . you’re still stupid and think not everyone’s bad.Everyone is bad!Valerie, everyone!” She jerked her head in a nod, her lips pursing as much as they could puffed between my palms, and I frowned thinly. “No one cares, not even the littlest bit. And if they do, they’re lying because they want something. Okay? We’ve talked about this.”
“Natasha?” Reality overlapped with my memories as they became too powerful, and I smiled slightly as I rubbed Valerie’s face playfully.
“I gotta go. I put your sandwich in the fridge.” Valerie’s face fell in disappointment, and my heart stammered in my chest as I backed up a step. “Don’t be sad. I’ll be back in a few hours. You can go to the Girl’s Club if you want.”
Valerie scowled, her pudgy cheeks tinging red, and I smiled wider as she threw herself back on the mattress to groan and roll around.
“You know those girls are mean to me, Nat!” Her complaining pulled a laugh from me even as I pulled on my shoes, and I tied up my hair before she spoke up again from behind me, “I wish Dad was still alive. Why do you have to have a job? That’s not even legal.”
“It’s fine. I like the job, right, and that’s important, liking your job. You should never do something you don’t like.” The lie slipped so easily off my tongue, and I stood up to cast Valerie one last look. She was so young, so innocent, worrying about normal stuff and not . . .