Page 18 of Erik
The secret was out, the whistle was blown, and I climbed into my panties and snapped my bra before my energy ran out. Sitting on my bed, I toweled my hair with heavy arms and stared at a distant carpet fiber that was a tiny bit longer than the ones around it.
Why did Valerie have to ruin everything?And it wasn’t her fault or anything, but I didn’t invite her because I didn’t want her here. My sister was a living, breathing reminder that my life was fuckingworthless!Everything I did was useless and futile in the end, and I couldn’t take a step forward without taking three steps back. Looking at her face, so happy and glowing andinsufferable, it made me sick.
Reaching over to grab my shirt, I pulled the fabric slowly over my head and down my torso as my frown deepened. Valerie, Valerie, Valerie— my entire life revolved around her, but her life didn’t revolve around me. She always had friends, or acquaintances, at least, and I had blackout episodes at vague glances my way.
“What the fuck.” Glancing down at my palm, my eyes narrowed, and my bitterness only intensified as I flexed my fingers long. “I’m disgusting.”
Shaking my head viciously, I stood up to hop into my jeans, and I pulled on a pair of socks before leaving my room. The apartment was quiet, ominously so, and I wandered into the kitchen only to pause. All of the dishes had been washed and put away, and the counters had been wiped down. The wine glass that had shattered had been vacuumed up, and its missing spot was prominent under the cabinet where they were hanging upside down.
“You’re awake.” Twisting as surprise squeezed my heart, I frowned as Erik lifted himself from the sofa. “Good morning. Or should I say ‘good afternoon’?”
“Good? Right. Nothing isgood.” Nastiness coated my tongue, and Erik frowned as I scowled at him from across the threshold. “Get out.”
“No.” My pupils blew at the firm baritone that slammed into me, and I stormed over to rear back my arm. Erik didn’t flinch as fire raced through my veins, and he didn’t try to dodge my slap before it landed on his hard, taut cheek. The resounding crack of skin on skin echoed loudly in my ears, and I banged my fists against his chest as illegibly sounds burst from my throat. Spittle dribbled down my chin, and my fury only grew when he just stood there and took my abuse.
Small, boiling hot tears pricked my eyes, and I pushed Erik hard enough to send myself stumbling back. He still didn’t move, but I panted harshly with my efforts as shivers rampaged up and down my spine.
If he wanted to get technical, I couldn’t kick Erik out— this was Carlyle’s apartment, and I was just squatting.
My shriek of frustration rose above the blood drumming in my ears at that notion. That was right! Valerie, well, she belonged here. She was accepted here as Carlyle’s live-in girlfriend. Everyone treated her like a part of the family!
Everyone treated me like the fucked-up cousin that should’ve died a long time ago. I was the one they reluctantly involved so they didn’t feel bad about leaving me out.
“Natasha.”No, that’s wrong. They pitied the lies I spun to make them feel better . . . to hide how bad I am.After all, who would care about me if . . . “Natasha. Hey.”
Calloused, rough fingertips dragged up my palm, and I blinked as Erik stretched his arm to reach me. His expression hid nothing, and I sucked in a sharp breath when he took a small step forward. Broad, muscular shoulders were straight and relaxed, and his biceps bulged as he reached his other hand to mine. I had to lift my head to hold his gaze, and the smell of him wafted up my nostrils when he came within a foot or so of me.
“You want some breakfast? We’ll cook something together.” My heart stuttered at the offer, and Erik’s gravelly but soft tone soothed some of the anger sloshing violently in my chest. “I bet you have a great recipe for French toast, yeah?”
“Yeah.” The croak burned my raw throat, and he cast me an encouraging smile as I wiped my mouth and chin and up my face. His hand never left mine, and the coarse hairs on his knuckles and the back of his palm tickled my skin. “What . . . what happened after?”
“Everyone left, but I stayed and cleaned up. I didn’t want you to wake up and hurt yourself, so I couldn’t turn on the tv or anything.” Gulping harshly at that, I tore my eyes off Erik and stepped back on stiff knees, but he only tightened his grip on my hands. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m used to sitting around, waiting, doing absolutely nothing. It was actually kinda nice. There was one thing. I’m not sure how well you’ll take it, though.”
“What thing?” I could taste him on my tongue when I opened my mouth, and I leaned forward a little as I posed my question. Erik tensed, and the bridge of my nose tingled wildly before my forehead touched his chest. His sternum was hard— really, really hard, like metal plate hard, and I inhaled deeply through flared nostrils.
“Uh, well . . . Carlyle fired you from your team. He wanted me to let you know he will have already replaced you by the time you wake up. I didn’t tell him how much you hated your job— he went that way by himself.”
“Oh.” I might’ve been mad if I wasn’t so fucking relieved, and I sniffled hard as I let that thought circulate behind my shuttered lids. “Good. That’s good.”
“I thought it might be. You know, I was thinking— neither of us have a job, and neither of us are happy here, so why don’t we go on a road trip together?” Surprise jerked my head back, and Erik smiled a shy, hopeful tilt of his lips as he shrugged at my raised brows and slack jaw. “I mean, what’s the worst that’ll happen?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Why? Why . . . what?” Was I still asleep? Was I dreaming in a fantasy land that’d dissipate into a horrified nightmare at any second? What the Hell was going on that Erik thought this was a plausible idea? “Why would we?”
“Why not? We’ll do all sorts of fun shit, and eat a lot of great food. It’s not like we’re going to find what we’re looking for here, Natasha. You’re going crazy being stuck in here, being forced to watch everyone around you have what you can’t have. That’s exactly what you said. And me . . . coming here was a mistake from the beginning. So, let’s just go. I’m gonna get kicked out of my house eventually— it was being rented to me by the department for transplanting, and I quit, so . . . ”
“Why would you think I’d do that with you after what you did?” My head spun as confusion lilted my tone, and Erik shrugged half-heartedly a second time. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth to gnaw under tightly furrowed brows, I didn’t know what else to say. What was I supposed to say? Erik and I had known each other a couple of weeks, and I knew that I was less than impressive right now.
Slowly turning around as the seconds ticked by, I scratched my head absently as I rounded the kitchen table and opened the refrigerator. My thoughts popped up like drudges from the muck, and I grabbed the bacon, eggs and butter with robotic movements.
A road trip, being stuck in a car for hours and hours, jumping highways and singing awful country music, and sleeping on shitty seats after taking turns driving. Lots of gas station coffee and granola bars, and atonof things to argue about.
That doesn’t sound half bad, actually.
“I’ll think about it.”
19
Natasha