Page 4 of Declan (Gold Team #5)

Five men paced the living room like a pride of ferocious lions ready to pounce. That was unfortunate because I was their prey.

Unfortunate for them .

They were about to learn I was like no other woman they’d ever met. I was not a mission, an objective, nor was I a woman they needed to rescue.

My gaze went from my brother-in-law Thad to Declan.

Thad looked confused, Declan looked murderous.

Oh, well . It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to Declan being in a bad mood. And pissing off men wasn’t new for me. Over the years, I’d dealt with a variety of angry males, though the anger normally came right before I put them down like the scum they were.

Lowlife criminals from the dregs of hell. Those were my normal targets, not deadly mercenaries. Not that I planned to put down Declan’s team, just thoroughly piss them off.

I unwound Declan’s keffiyeh that he’d demanded I use to cover my hair and tossed it on the back of the couch. Dec’s eyes dropped to the scarf then came to mine .

“You planned that shit,” Dec seethed.

“Yep.”

There was no sense denying it. I had one hundred percent planned for Madeleine Strotherby and her men to know I was in Afghanistan.

I wasn’t stupid nor was I wet behind the ears.

If I didn’t want them to know I was close, then they would’ve never known.

But I was done with the cat-and-mouse bullshit.

It was time to end the game, and what better way than to announce my presence and make them come to me.

“What the fuck!”

“What the fuck, what, Declan?” I returned with equal sarcasm.

“That stunt could’ve killed both of us.”

I glanced at his left arm, his tight tan long-sleeve t-shirt covered in blood, and a tingle of remorse made the hair on the back of my neck stand.

But just a tingle and just for a moment.

I didn’t feel remorse or regret, those emotions had long since disappeared. But for Declan, I’d let myself feel it.

“No. The shit you pulled could’ve got us killed. I didn’t ask for you to horn in on my action. I didn’t ask you to meet me on the street, and if it wasn’t for you, I would’ve never been in that situation to begin with.”

“We had a plan.”

“Again, no. You had a plan. I don’t do plans, or partners, or teams. I work alone. I told you that, you disagreed and in order not to argue, I let you believe whatever you wanted. But that didn’t mean I was going to follow along.”

Declan’s brows pinched, his frown deepened, and extreme displeasure rolled off him. Thad’s gaze bounced from me to Declan then back to me. Great . And when his eyes narrowed, I knew he was going to ask questions I didn’t want to answer.

“What the hell is going on?” Thad demanded .

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Max glaring at me. I’d only met the man a handful of times but he struck me as someone you didn’t fuck with. But at that moment, what he didn’t look was confused like Thad, Brooks, and Kyle were.

“What’s going on is, I had a lead on Madeleine, I followed that lead, and Declan here is fucking up my plan.”

“Thought you didn’t do plans,” Declan returned.

God, the man was infuriating.

“I’m not talking about Strotherby,” Thad started. “What the actual fuck is going on with you and Declan? And how did it come to be that the two of you had occasion to discuss anything?”

Declan flinched and Thad didn’t miss it. “Brother.” The warning in Thad’s tone was clear. That couldn’t be missed, either

And in a rare moment of kindness, I decided I didn’t want Declan to be on the receiving end of Thad’s anger. The two of them were teammates. I was nothing to them, and when Madeleine was taken care of, I’d disappear and they’d never see me again. But they would have to work together.

“I reached out to Declan when my source confirmed Icon was the top dog in the Omni pyramid. I mistakenly thought we could share intel.”

Hurt flashed in my brother-in-law’s eyes and I understood why.

“You reached out to Declan, not me.”

There was more pain. I was a walking, talking disaster that only caused devastation and agony. The main reason I stayed away from everyone. No one needed my brand of destruction.

“Yep, Declan,” I unnecessarily confirmed.

“Why?”

“Because I knew he wouldn’t try to talk me into seeing Emerson. He wouldn’t talk about the past, he wouldn’t try to fix me, heal me, or stop me. No offense, Thad, you’re a good guy. But you love my sister.”

“Damn right I do.”

“And because you do, I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t want to cause problems for you and Emmy. I don’t want her thinking about me. I want her living her life loving you. Don’t you think she’s given up enough?”

Thad remained silent because I was right.

Emerson had given up too much. And part of what she’d given up was him.

When I was first taken, Emmy had walked away from her life in San Diego to go home and help our parents search for me.

Then days had slid into months and months into years and she never went back to her life, or to Thad.

Not until last year when they finally reconnected.

He’d wrought a miracle and pulled her from a life she had no business living.

One much like mine, where retribution was the only goal.

But he’d gotten her clean, and I had no doubt he thought he could do the same for me.

And not because he liked me or was worried about my black soul, but because my sister loved me and wanted something for me I’d never have—happiness and peace.

And if Emmy wanted it, Thaddeus Bench would move heaven and hell to make sure she had it.

That was why I didn’t want anything to do with my brother-in-law.

“I told you we were close,” Declan rejoined.

“I told you to wait and together we’d talk to my team and come up with a plan.

One that didn’t involve you struttin’ your ass around Afghanistan, blonde hair waving in the wind like a fucking beacon.

I fuckin’ told you, Autumn, this wasn’t a suicide mission. ”

He had droned on about not putting my life in danger.

But he and I were in disagreement. Two different mindsets if you will—he called it suicide, I called it a regular day.

Death didn’t scare me, I’d died more than ten years ago the first time my body was used against my will.

And every time after that, more and more of me was lost until there was nothing left.

There was no such thing as suicide, not for a woman like me. You couldn’t kill the dead.

“Autumn,” Declan snapped and pulled me from my thoughts. “Swear to Christ, you pull that shit again, I’ll be making good on my threats.”

“Mark this, Dec, you try that and it will be me paddling your ass.”

“What. The. Fuck?” Thad barked and pinned Declan with a deadly look.

“Maybe we should give the two of them time to talk without an audience,” Max suggested.

“Fuck that,” Thad spat.

“Thad, come take a walk.” Brooks stepped in and Thad’s eyes shifted from Declan to Brooks, then to me.

“Please, for the love of God, tell me you’re not fucking him.”

Welp, there went my last hope to keep Declan clear of Thad’s wrath.

I could lie, but I did a lot of screwed-up shit that blackened my soul.

When I could, I tried my best not to add to my sins.

I mean, I was already on the fast train straight to hell, there was no need to add to the speed in which I was getting there.

When I finally left this earth, I’d at least like to see some of the scenery on my way down, even if it was in a fiery blur.

“I’m not sure who I’m sleeping with is any of your business.”

“Then you’d be wrong.”

“No, Thad, I’m right. I’m nothing to you.

I’m nothing to him.” I pointed to Declan.

“I’m nothing to any of you.” My arm swept the room.

“We have a common enemy and when she’s no longer breathing and Omni falls, none of you will ever see me again.

So it doesn’t matter who I’m fucking now, who I’m not, and who I will be in the future.

Strotherby and Omni. That’s it. That is all that matters, that’s as close as you’re gonna get to me. ”

Thad studied me. His deep brown eyes analyzed, saw too much, danced with fire, and suddenly I felt naked.

But it wasn’t his gaze that made me shiver, it was the one that came from Declan.

I didn’t dare take my eyes from Thad, him I could handle.

Declan, I was discovering, I couldn’t. Declan knew me too well, he understood me.

He and I were the same and that scared the living daylights out of me.

“You know, I’ve heard something similar to that once before,” Thad told me.

“Only when your sister said it, it pissed me off because all I could think about was how much I loved her and how fuckin’ bad it hurt when she left me.

But you? When you say shit like that, it cuts me to my core, because I know you believe it.

I know you fucking believe you’re nothing.

And that cuts. You mean something to me, to your sister, and to your parents. ”

After that successful shot to my heart, he turned to Declan. “You and me got problems. Big fuckin’ problems now that I’m putting the last couple of months together. My wife’s sister’s been close enough for you to sneak off and fuck but you didn’t bother to share that with me. Fuck you for that.”

Thad stomped out of the room. His heavy footfalls pounded in my head and my chest started to ache.

Shit .

Me and my big mouth.

Declan was looking at me but he wasn’t talking to me. “Keep her in the house.”

Then he turned to follow Thad.

“Hell, no. I’m not staying in here.”

“You are, Autumn. What I’ve got to say to Thad is between me and him. ”

“You’re wrong. This is about me and he has no right to act like an overprotective brother.”

“Not everything’s about you . He has every right to be pissed at me . I did know you were close. I did keep that from him. And I did it knowing he’d be just as pissed as he is. But that’s between me and him.”