Page 22 of Declan (Gold Team #5)

“Have you heard a fuckin’ word I’ve said?” Zane barked.

“Nope,” I answered honestly.

I hadn’t heard a damn thing anyone in the room had said since Zane had hung up with Tex.

We had a full house—Red, Gold, and Blue we all piled into the conference room.

Sixteen operators plus Garrett meant there wasn’t enough room to breathe.

Which didn’t much matter to me, since it had been a full two weeks since I’d taken in a lungful of oxygen that hadn’t left me burning mad.

“It’s not your—”

“It’s not? I was right fucking there. And you know what I did?

I instructed my team to roll out of there as quickly as possible so we didn’t get caught in that shit.

Literally, Z, across the street. We could’ve stopped that shit.

And two privates wouldn’t be dead and Lieutenant Avery Nelson wouldn’t be MIA. ”

“You had an assignment. A mission at my order to complete,” Zane replied, his tone angry.

“You’re not the only one in this room feeling the loss, Declan.

But you couldn’t know what was going to happen, and if you did, all six of you would’ve been dead.

Report says that there were over fifty insurgents that overtook that convoy.

There were six of you, only five that are properly trained.

The only reason why there were only two dead and one missing is because no one fought. ”

There was nothing Zane could say that would make me feel any better.

Lieutenant Nelson was missing in action, being held by a known terrorist group.

Tex had declined Zane’s offer to send us or the Blue Team to Afghanistan to assist Rocco, Gumby, Ace, Bubba, Phantom, and Rex in their search for the lieutenant which only further pissed me off.

“Dec, you know Z’s right,” Thad added. “There were six of us there, we all agreed. Not making light of what’s happened to Lieutenant Nelson, but we had a priority one mission. Strotherby had to be put down.”

My jaw clenched for a variety of reasons. One being that while no one had spoken to me about Autumn outright, they’d all taken potshots. Prying without asking. Hinting that they knew something was wrong but didn’t want to question me.

This was Thad’s latest attempt, reminding me there were six of us in Afghanistan but only five us were in this room discussing our next move.

“Ashaki has gone off the grid.” Zane brought the conversation back around.

“Still don’t like her,” Jasmin put in.

“Autumn vouched for her,” Max returned, shocking the hell out of me. “She trusts Ash.”

“Since when do you trust anyone?” Brooks asked.

Max had a love affair with suspicion, his trust issues were legendary. That was, until Eva came along. It seemed the woman wrought miracles.

“Since I’ve been wrong the last five times I accused women of being liars.”

“Five?” I questioned .

There were only four that I knew of—Tatiana, Anaya, Emerson, and Eva.

“I trust Autumn. If she says Ash is on the up and up, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.”

My jaw clenched, Thad sputtered then coughed, and Zane grunted, “Christ.”

“We all have our reasons for being here,” Max started. “We all had our reasons for joining the military. Autumn has her reasons for doing the things she’s done. I respect those reasons and I appreciate her honesty.”

We needed to move off the topic of Autumn, just hearing her name made me sick with worry. Where the fuck was she? Why’d she sneak out of her house without so much as a fuck off ? And why in the actual hell did I physically ache because she was gone? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her?

“Tom’s put together a task force.” Zane’s announcement pulled me from my thoughts. “With the election around the corner, he wants this taken care of before he’s out of office.”

“I met with the president and Kline Mathias yesterday. He’s up to speed and ready,” Colin added.

The president, Tom Anderson, was Colin’s father-in-law.

He was also one of Zane Lewis’s closest friends.

Jasmin Parker also had family ties to the POTUS—Tom was her uncle, making Colin’s wife Erin and Jasmin cousins.

It was just enough to make you dizzy. But being on a first-name basis with the President of the United States had its perks.

And with Tom’s second term coming to an end, I could see how Tom wanted Omni finished before he lost control.

Thankfully, when an intrusive intelligence program called Angel was outed Tom had gone public about millions of Americans being spied on.

When he revealed the vice president’s involvement, the VP had stepped down and withdrawn his bid for the White House.

Which was a good thing—the man was a snake.

When the dust had finally settled, Tom nominated his Secretary of State to fill the vacancy.

Trent Graham was a good guy, and by his polling numbers, it looked like he was going to win the election.

“Kline Mathias, the Director of U.S. Marshals Service?” Brooks inquired.

“Yeah. Tom and him go way back, he trusts Kline and wanted to keep the operation away from the CIA.”

I didn’t know Kline personally but I’d heard good things about him, and Tom not involving the CIA was a good thing, too. There’d been too many leaks in the past, and until those plugs were filled, Kline was probably the best option.

“There’s not much left to do. A little housekeeping and this will all be behind us,” Jaxon noted.

“What about Emilio Ruiz?” I asked.

“Gone,” Zane told me.

“Gone? As in dead?”

“No. Gone as in he and his family have disappeared to an undisclosed location. Tom’s call.”

Emilio Ruiz had been neck-deep in Omni until the organization he’d sworn his loyalty to turned on him and tried to kidnap his daughter.

Then Ruiz had turned on them. Whoever said there was honor among thieves was incorrect.

There was no honor among scum. The almighty dollar spoke louder than loyalty.

“So that leaves Harry Landry.” The tightness in Brooks’ voice conveyed just how much he disliked the man.

Not only had Landry fucked over Brooks’ wife but he was also a human trafficker, a successful one, so Zane’s declaration didn’t come as a surprise.

“Gone. As in dead.”

I sat back in my chair and tried to relax knowing the endeavor was futile.

I didn’t think I’d ever feel at ease again.

The ball of tension in my chest had grown with each passing day that Autumn was gone.

I glanced around the room and that ball felt like a lead weight.

I didn’t belong here. And as grateful as I was that Zane Lewis had taken me on after I left the CIA, had given me a chance to be close to the sister I still hadn’t connected with in any real way, that realization had become crystal clear.

I was surrounded by good people. Men I couldn’t measure up against. Men who found the women they were meant to be with and weren’t afraid to keep them. But I’d already had that and lost it. And the longer I was around it, the pain only intensified.

I had to leave.

It was time.

“Owen,” Zane called. “Any closer to getting Natasha to talk?”

My gaze slid to Owen and his expression said it all.

Natasha wasn’t talking. Which wasn’t surprising because she hadn’t spoken much since she was rescued from Novak.

A man who’d taken Eva in an attempt to use her as a pilot to transport his drugs and the woman he’d bought.

That woman being Natasha. Though it was doubtful that was even her name.

“That woman is locked up tight. She won’t even tell me how old she is,” Owen answered. “I sent Tex her toothbrush. I wanted the story to come from her but we can’t wait any longer.”

“If you need to move her to a safehouse—”

“No. She’s good where she is,” Owen cut Zane off.

Interesting. Natasha had been living with Owen. Yeah, it was time for me to beat feet. Love was in the air so thick I couldn’t breathe.

“Keep working her,” Zane instructed. “Gabe, Mathias will be in touch with you if he needs anything.”

“Copy that. We’re ready,” Myles, the Blue Team’s leader responded. “Dec and his team took all the action and left us with the cleanup. How about next time, we get the fun, and Gold gets the grunt work.”

The room filled with chuckles but I remained silent.

“Good. Then we're done. Jaxon, Thad, and Dec, a moment in private,” Zane requested.

No, Zane demanded —he simply had phrased it like a request.

Fucking, fucking , hell .

The rest of the men and Jasmin filed out of the room. While I waited, I tried the old trick of counting to ten. When that did not a thing to calm my temper, I made it to thirty before I gave up the ghost and admitted to myself that there was nothing that was going to quell my anger.

“Dec—”

“Don’t.”

Zane leaned back, completely unaffected by my tone.

Asshole .

“Given you a long time,” he continued. “Probably too long.”

“And them? Why are they here?”

“Because they’re your brothers. More so than the men who just left. Jaxon’s your sister’s husband. And Thad’s your woman’s brother-in-law.”

I fought to keep my hands where they were instead of wrapping them around Zane’s neck.

“She’s not my woman,” I seethed.

“Who knows?” Zane ignored my correction.

“Knows what?”

“About Juliana.”

The oxygen in the room thinned and my vision became hazy. “Don’t you fucking—”

“Who knows?” Zane demanded.

“Kyle and Max.”

“Who’s Juliana?” Thad’s question burned so hotly I was afraid I’d explode.

“My wife.”

Thad made an angry growl and my gaze sliced to him. His eyes narrowed and I waited. Then everything clicked together for Thad and there it was—the pity I didn’t want.

“Alive and breathing,” Thad whispered as the puzzle pieces of past conversations snapped together. “How’d it happen?”

None of my anger at Zane slipped, but pain invaded every part of my being.

“Drive-by at my daughter’s first birthday party.”

I heard it, both men inhaled so deeply it was a wonder they’d left any oxygen in the room.

“Where’s—”