Page 24 of Declan (Gold Team #5)

Awkward .

That was the only word I could think of to describe the last week. I suppose it was better than the angry, bitter, pissed-off I was when I’d arrived at my dad’s, but not by much.

My mom had talked and talked and talked. That was her way when she was nervous, but I felt like she just kept packing in all the words she could so she could say everything she wanted to before I took off again and disappeared for another nine years.

My dad had watched it all. He spoke when directly spoken to, but other than that, he offered nothing. But from the moment I’d wake up until I went to bed, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of me.

Mom had invited Dad and me back to her house, which used to be our house. I swiftly declined. I never wanted to step foot back into that house. So Mom took Dad’s bed, I slept in his guest bedroom, and he slept on his couch.

They’d been divorced for years but I thought that Emmy had told me they were reconnecting. However, nothing in my father’s body language said reconciliation and my mom was walking on eggshells.

Awkward.

And no one was asking what I knew they wanted to know. Where I’d been for the last nine years. My nerves were frazzled. I missed Declan more than I thought possible.

And I wanted to throw a temper tantrum and scream like a two-year-old. What thirty-year-old woman does that?

“Autumn, honey—”

“Mom,” I hissed and she stepped back.

Shit .

I couldn’t stop my hand from raking through my hair and yanking.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Then I watched tears brim in her eyes.

“I’m talking too much. I know. I’m just—”

“Just ask what you want to know,” I invited.

“Am I that obvious?”

“You’re my mom. Nine minutes, nine hours, nine years, I’m not gonna forget. I know you become chatty when you’re nervous.”

“She’s got your number, Meggy,” my dad said, and offered me a can of soda.

I would’ve preferred liquor, or at least I thought I would’ve. I’d never been drunk so I couldn’t know for sure, but I needed something to calm the jitters.

“Are you happy?” my mom asked.

“What?”

“That’s what I want to know.”

“No,” I answered honestly and my mom broke down.

My dad moved to her, wrapped her in his arms, and held her while she cried.

Shit. How did I fix this ?

“You’re gonna be grandparents. Emerson and Thad are having a baby. ”

My mom sucked in a breath but said nothing.

“Thad’s a good guy. He loves her like crazy. He’s excited.”

More silence.

Shit .

“She’s happy. Really happy.”

Still nothing.

“I just spent time with Thad—”

“Stop, sweetheart,” my dad commanded. “We’re happy for your sister.

But we’re not talking about her. We’re talking about you.

Her happiness doesn’t make us any less devastated.

We have two daughters. Two beautiful, smart girls.

One is not more important than the other.

I know you’re trying to make us feel better by telling us her good news but that doesn’t negate the fact that you’re hurting. ”

“I just—”

“I know what you were doing. You’ve done it your whole life. Since you were a little girl, you always celebrated Emerson’s achievements more than your own. But we love you two the same. Have you talked to Emmy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

I felt exceptionally uncomfortable under my dad’s scrutiny, and when I started shifting from foot to foot, I knew he knew.

“Why not, Autumn?” he pushed.

“Because I feel guilty for tearing apart our family. She lost Thad. The two of you lost each other. Emmy lost her parents.”

“And what’d you lose?”

I stared at my dad and couldn’t swallow past the lump in my throat.

“Everything,” I whispered.

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. You didn’t lose anything. Things were stolen from you. But not everything. We’ve been here waiting. But you knew that, didn’t you, or you wouldn’t have come back when you needed us.”

Shit .

“This guilt you’ve been carrying around isn’t yours.

Emerson made decisions, and those are hers.

I couldn’t figure out how to deal with my grief and I pushed your mother away, that’s on me.

Your mom made choices and those are hers.

The one person who didn’t have a choice was you.

That’s what was stolen. Then you had more and more taken from you.

” My dad sighed and squeezed my mom. “We knew you were gonna run and we fought about it, your mom and me. I wanted to have you committed and your mom refused. Then you took off and once again I wrongly blamed your mom. I did that. Those were my mistakes.”

I was taken aback by my dad’s admission. I had no idea he’d wanted to have me committed. And if he had, I would’ve viewed that as more rejection, not him trying to get me help.

“Emerson loves you,” my mom shared. “When the two of you were growing up, sometimes I’d watch you two together and my heart would burst with happiness.

Other times, I’d be jealous that the two of you were so close, you didn’t need me.

You had each other and that was all you needed.

Pretty silly for a mom to be jealous of her babies.

But for you, it was Emmy and Daddy. The sun rose and set with them. ”

“I loved you,” I corrected.

“I know you did, sweetheart. I’m not trying to have a one-woman pity party, I know you loved me, but you adored your daddy.

And your sister was your hero and I’m just happy that for the first nineteen years of your life you had that.

And all I can do now is pray that you’ll find that again.

With your dad, your sister, me, friends, a man, maybe one day with your own children. I want you to feel that love.”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“Of course you do. ”

“If you knew me. The woman I’ve become. Knew the things I’ve done, you wouldn’t think that.”

“Impossible,” my dad corrected. “I know my daughter.”

“You don’t, Dad. I’ve turned into a cold-hearted—”

“Stop it,” he snarled and my back shot straight. “There’s nothing you could possibly have done that makes me believe you’re not worthy of the very best.”

The last thread of my sanity snapped. I shouldn’t have come back. I should’ve let bygones be bygones and allowed my parents to go on wondering what happened to me. That would’ve been the kind thing to do. Now I was filled with anger.

Before I could lash out, there was a knock at the door.

My hand automatically went for my weapon, then I turned to my dad. “Are you expecting company?”

“No.”

“Take Mom into the bedroom.”

“Autumn—”

“Now, Dad.”

I stalked to the door, waited for my dad to move my mom down the hall, then I slowly opened the door.

“You’re losing your touch. I figured I’d be facing down the business end of that nine you love so much.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Surprise.” Ash smiled.

“Surprise? How’d you find me?”

“You gonna invite me in to meet your parents or are you gonna make me stand on the porch all day?”

I hadn’t exactly covered my tracks, but I also hadn’t made it easy to track me to my hometown.

“I’ll let you in after you tell me how you found me.”

“Beth,” Ash answered.

“Right.”

I stepped aside to let Ash in, simultaneously thinking up a lie to tell my parents and trying not to get pissed at my friend Beth. I’d failed at both when my dad appeared sans my mother.

“Mr. Pierce,” Ash greeted. “What a pleasure to meet you. I’m Ashaki Maloof, a friend of Autumn’s.”

My dad stared at me and I gave him a tight smile and a nod. “Mom can come out. Ash is a good friend of mine.”

Two seconds later, my mom appeared, which meant she hadn’t stayed in the bedroom. I would’ve been annoyed if I hadn’t been so confused.

“Mrs. Pierce. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ashaki, is it?” my mother asked and Ash smiled. “What a lovely name.”

“How do you know Autumn?” Dad inquired.

“We work together.”

What the hell was she doing ?

“That’s great. Where do you work?” My mom looked between me and Ash and I frantically tried to come up with a lie.

But once again, Ash got in there first. “The CIA.”

“The Central Intelligence Agency? That CIA?” my mother gasped and I knocked my shoulder into Ash’s.

“Mom, I don’t—”

“Autumn’s a consultant. But yes, that CIA. We’ve worked together for years. Your daughter had been invaluable. She’s saved countless women from enduring the pain she herself endured. Her leaving the agency is going to be a huge loss.”

“What?” I turned to Ash.

“That’s why I came by, my sweet friend, to tell you it’s time for you to move on. You’ve done your part, now it’s time for you to start living.”

“I think we need to speak in private,” I hissed.

“No, it’s time you stop hiding. Your parents should know all the good you’ve done so in the future if you need to be reminded they’ll have that knowledge.

The number’s close to seven-hundred, that’s how many victims of human trafficking your daughter has rescued.

She’s put herself in grave danger, she’s sacrificed, and she’s done things that she’ll tell you she’s ashamed of.

But I’m telling you, I have nothing but the utmost respect for your daughter’s courage. ”

Ashaki turned to me, grabbed my hands, and tugged me closer.

“Be happy, Autumn. Let go of the past. Leave it all behind. Find Declan. Oh, and you’re fired.

If you call Beth, I’ve explained things to her and she won’t help you.

As a matter of fact, I took the liberty of severing all ties you had and I put the word out you’re under Declan Crenshaw’s protection.

And just to be safe, I dropped Zane Lewis’s name, too.

No one is stupid enough to mess with either of those men. ”

“I can’t believe you,” I seethed.

“One day you’ll thank me.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

My mind reeled. My friend had betrayed me. I told the guys she could be trusted. She’d totally fucked me over.

“Barny Pollaski killed my family,” Ash said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t face him.

I was too weak to do it myself. So I called you in.

I didn’t lie—you saw the girls you saved that day.

I just didn’t tell you he was the man who took my mom.

It was him, personally, who killed all three of them.

You gave them the peace I couldn’t. Now, my sweet friend, I’m giving you the peace you deserve.

Go find Declan and forget everything else. ”

“Ash, it’s not like that—”

“What that man feels for you is bigger than anything you can imagine. He is wildly in love with you. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Trust me. Let go and be free.”

“And you? When will you be free?” I asked sarcastically.

“When I find my Declan. Then I’ll walk away from all of this and never look back.”

Shit .

Ash let me go and turned to my parents. “It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

My mom didn’t acknowledge Ash, she didn’t even blink, she just stared at me while my dad walked Ashaki to the door.

“Well? What are we waiting for?” my mom huffed. “Where do we find this Declan?”

“Meggy,” my father warned.

“Justin, either you find this man right now and take me to him or I’ll go by myself. Our girl’s got a man who is wildly in love with her and I want to get to know him. After that, you’re taking me to see Emerson.”

“Meggy, my love, we promised—”

“Yes, I know what we promised. We promised to love, honor, and cherish one another until we drew our last breath. We promised to raise a family together. We promised to be good parents. The way I see it, we’ve broken all of those.

And I’m not going to stand here and allow it to go on any longer.

Our girls need us, we’re putting this family back together.

Too much time has been lost.” My mom speared me with a look I hadn’t seen since I was a child. “Autumn Anne, go pack your bag.”

What the hell was happening ?

“Mom—”

“Now.”

“You know—”

“I know when we got you back that I messed up. I know I did everything wrong. And right now, I’m setting about making it right. This family fell apart and I am putting it back together. Go get your stuff, we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

Putting it back together ?

Was that possible?

Emerson thought it was.

Mom obviously did.

I looked at my dad and he smiled.

“Your mama’s right, sweetpea. It’s time we all found our way home.”

Home.

After all these years, I loved the sound of that.