Page 29 of Declan (Gold Team #5)

And it was worth noting that while Zane was staring at Declan, Declan hadn’t taken his eyes off of me.

Holy smokes, those red eyes were an inferno of goodness. I could get lost in those eyes. Who the hell was I kidding? I already was, and it scared the piss out of me.

“Let’s get this started so I can get back to my wife,” Zane suggested, or more aptly, demanded.

“What did Ashaki say to you when you saw her in Iowa?” Brooks asked.

I gave them a quick rundown of the conversation, leaving out that Declan was wildly in love with me, instead saying she thought he was into me. When I was done it was Max who was studying me and doing it closely.

“And now, your opinion of her has changed,” Max wisely surmised.

“Yes. Now that Declan has expressed his concerns and I’ve had time to think about it, I’m wondering why she was watching.

I’m also wondering what she was doing in Maryland in the first place.

I’ve worked with her in the past. We’ve gotten together when we’ve been overseas and in the same area.

But mostly we communicate over the phone.

She’s never just popped up somewhere I’ve been for the sake of grabbing a beer and having a gab.

So, yes, I’m concerned she was watching me.

But more, I want to know why she was watching Declan when I never told anyone I’d been seeing him.

I need to call my girl Beth and see if she can fill in the blanks. ”

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, had her contact info pulled up, and hit the green button when Zane asked, “Who’s Beth?”

“I’ll explain when we’re done.”

The phone started ringing and I put it on speaker.

“I was wondering when you’d call,” Beth answered in her sing-song voice.

I had to admit, over the years, hearing Beth’s chipper voice had been one of the only bright spots in my life. She always sounded upbeat and happy even when we were discussing filthy scumbags.

“Listen, you’re on—”

“Ash called me, told me you’d hooked up with Declan Crenshaw.

” She let out a whistle and continued before I could shut her up.

“I have to say, I was shocked. Never met him but I’ve heard of him.

I mean, everyone has. He was the CIA’s golden boy.

I think they wept when they lost him. Legend has it he wiped out an entire camp of insurgents and saved a ranger unit. ”

Shit . My eyes went to Declan and I tried again. “Beth. Stop, you’re—”

“It’s also widely known he’s untouchable. Not cold but glacial. Girl, if what Ash says is true, you gotta tell me—”

“You’re on speaker and Declan is right here.”

“Shit. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried. But you were all fired up to tell me what Ash told you and you didn’t take a breath.”

“Did you expect I wouldn’t be fired up to hear how the woman known as the Angel of Death landed herself the King of Frost? I’ve known you a long time, Autumn, never did I think I’d see the day you’d walk away.”

Shit .

Everyone in the room was now staring at me. Except for Thad, he was smiling. Damn . I hated to do this but I had to.

“Is that what Ash said?”

“Yeah, she called to tell me you hooked up with Declan, and you were done. Which I have to say makes me happy.”

Damn . That made this next part worse.

“I’m not walking away, Beth. I’m not sure why she told you that.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Then I told the story for a second time, again leaving out Ash thinking that Declan was in love with me.

“So with all that, do you have anything for me?”

“I need time,” Beth returned.

“We don’t have time. My concern is growing. I need to know why she was in Maryland. What’s she working on?”

“You know I can’t tell you that,” she quietly told me.

“I get it. I’d be pissed if you told someone what I was doing. But I need to know if Declan or the team is in danger.”

“I…um…shit. They're not in danger. Let me make some calls and I’ll hit you back.”

“One more thing I forgot to ask. How’d you know I was in Iowa?”

“I didn’t, why?”

“No reason. I misunderstood something.”

“Autumn—”

“Make your calls and get back to me. I appreciate you, Beth.”

I hurried before she could inquire further and looked at Declan.

“We have a problem. Ash lied to me. She told me Beth told her I was in Iowa.”

“We have a bigger problem,” Zane grunted. “That was Elizabeth Turner.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Because Beth is Tex’s right-hand woman.”

Shit, oh, fuck, and dammit all .

“I didn’t know,” I rushed out.

“Tex is gonna blow his stack.”

Shit, damn, and more fucks .

I sensed Tex and the guys were close. I didn’t want Tex mad at anyone. And he was more than a little scary with what he could do with a computer. A computer that held all my secrets.

Fuck .

“Baby, he’s not gonna be pissed at you. And whatever you’re thinking, get it out of your mind. Tex would never give what he’s got over to anyone.”

“But—”

“Tex might be pissed, but it won’t be at you, and Beth will be fine. Tex is gonna be pissed because Beth had all the answers and he didn’t know. And it took him forever to dig up what he did on you which means Beth did a damn good job burying it.”

“And the student becomes the master,” Kyle mumbled.

“Told you, you were a pain in my ass.”

“Maybe we could just not tell Tex,” I suggested.

“Woman, who do you think Beth is calling? She needs guidance and she’s going to Tex.

She’s considering breaking confidentiality and that shit is set in stone.

I’m not talking the same discretion as a priest sitting in a confessional.

I’m talking granite. She breaks that, she’s fucked, and in turn, Tex is fucked.

What Ash is working on, we need Garrett to find. ”

Shit .

I sucked in a breath, hating that I was about to betray a friend, albeit a friend who’d lied to me. But two wrongs don’t make a right however I had to make my move to protect the goodness in front of me. Something was off—way the hell off. And we needed to know what Ash was up to.

“Ashaki’s real name is Amie Shapiro.”

“Fuck,” Declan clipped. “Baby—”

“It was scrubbed when she left the FBI, but her records will be under that name, including the information about her family.”

“Autumn—”

“I’m making the plays I need to make. We’re a team, right? All of us? I need to trust my team and give them what they need.”

“Christ.” Declan’s hands went to his hair and he combed his long fingers through it. “Thank you, baby.”

Then without warning, Thad was at my side. He pulled me into a hug and squeezed the life out of me. Panic came barreling to the surface, I felt the sweat instantly bead on my forehead, and I furiously tried to blink away the haze.

“Let her go,” Declan demanded.

“Brother—”

“Right now, Thaddeus.” Then Declan was pulling me out of my brother-in-law’s arms.

“Fuck, I didn’t think.”

“Baby, look at me.” I blinked and Declan came into focus. “You good?”

I was horrified everyone saw my panic attack, but so fucking grateful Declan was trying to cover it up that I felt my nose sting.

“Damn,” I whispered. “He was just trying to hug me.”

“He came at you quick, Autumn. He’s lucky you didn’t take off his balls.”

“Shit, Autumn, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. My fault.”

I gave Thad a shaky smile. “Not your fault I’m all fucked-up.”

“Don’t do that,” he chided. “Don’t go back to her.”

My back went ramrod straight, a smartass retort on my tongue, but the fire quickly faded when Declan placed my hand on his chest. The steady thrum of his heartbeat under my palm settled the anger.

Don’t go back .

I didn’t need Declan to remind me to be fearless, not verbally anyway.

One touch was all I needed.

“I get freaked out when I’m held onto,” I told Thad. “I can’t be restrained in any way. And I don’t like to be touched.”

“It won’t happen again,” he assured me.

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” I wasn’t sure if I was telling that to Declan or Thad or to both of them. I just knew it was the truth. “So I’d like to try again. But maybe just not so tight.”

Declan gave me a blinding smile that told me just how proud he was of me, and stepped aside.

I slowly turned to Thad. He ignored my wobbly smile and gently wrapped me in a hug .

His mouth bent to my ear and he whispered, “Thank you.”

“For what? A hug?”

“For giving my Emmy back her family.”

I jerked, blinked, and scrunched my nose to stop the stinging.

I might be on the road to recovery but I didn’t want to cry in front of anyone.

“You’re welcome.”

My voice cracked, what was left of my walls crumbled, but I was pretty damn pleased I didn’t cry.