Page 89 of Breadwinner

Sarah sipped her drink silently, trying not to read too much into what Jamie had said, as they watched Lily work throughher routine. Jamie had gotten much better at holding her cards close to her chest. When they had first met, she could read Jamie easily, but now, it was a totally different story.

She felt a familiar feeling ignite inside her. That overwhelming urge to fix, to take control and clear the air. “Jamie, I?—”

“I have something for you,” Jamie said quickly, the slightest hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“You do?”

“Yeah. Just a little birthday gift. It’s in my car.” She started to protest—Jamie really didn’t need to go through all the trouble of getting her a birthday gift—but Jamie held up her hand, a smile already at the corners of her mouth. “Don’t argue.”

They made their way through the parking lot side by side. Jamie popped the trunk of her Subaru Outback, reached inside, and pulled out a small box wrapped in newspaper comic strips. Jamie held it for a moment, as if considering whether she really wanted to give it to her.

“Happy birthday, Sarah,” she said, handing the gift to her.

Sarah took it from her gently. “Jamie, you really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to. Just open it, please.”

Sarah’s hands shook slightly as she held the gift. God, this was awkward. “I like the wrapping paper.”

Jamie smiled. “The comic section has never failed me.”

She peeled back the paper, tugging the comics away, and lifted the lid of the box. Inside, safely nestled in brown paper, was a set of four hand-blown glass tumblers. Each one had a slightly different shape—some taller, some a bit wider, some not perfectly cylindrical. The glass was mostly clear, but shot through with messy, colorful swirls of reds, oranges, and yellow, creating a fire-like effect.

“They’re gorgeous.” She carefully lifted one from the box, twirling it in the light. “Did you make these?”

Jamie nodded, her smile spreading. “Yeah. Beth and I took a glass-blowing class a while back, and I kept going back for more. I’m getting pretty good at it.” She gestured to the glasses. “I know they don’t look perfect, but working with glass has taught me a lot about managing my expectations around perfection. Glass is a very unforgiving medium. You can’t force it to do exactly what you want, or else it shatters. All the conditions can be perfect, and you can still end up with cracks.” She shrugged. “It’s infuriating, but a good reminder to myself to roll with things as they happen.”

Sarah swallowed hard, trying to follow Jamie, realizing that they weren’t really talking about the tumblers anymore. She ran her finger over the rim of one of the glasses, her thumb finding faint ripples along the uneven edge.

“I’m learning there’s a lot of charm in imperfection,” Jamie said softly.

“That’s rather poetic.”

“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I thought you’d enjoy the glasses. Maybe we could drink some bourbon together sometime soon.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly. Sarah did like them. A lot. They were one of the most thoughtful gifts she had ever received. “Really, Jamie. Thanks.”

They stood like that for a moment, the warm spring breeze late March brought with it tugging at the flaps of Jamie’s jacket. “I know you and Beth aren’t really talking right now, and that’s why you’ve been avoiding family dinners, but I miss seeing you around. You’re always welcome at the house. You know that, right?”

Her throat tightened at Jamie’s words. “Yeah,” she said. “I know.”

Jamie kicked a stray leaf near her foot. “It’s hard sometimes. We’re all trying to make this blended family thing work in our own ways. But I’ve always valued this. I’ve never really been a part of a family until I became a part of yours, and... thank you for letting me be a part of it.”

This conversation would be so much easier if Sarah knew what Jamie knew. Screw the clarity she had been looking for; this little talk had only added to her confusion.

“I’m not trying to blow anything up. I just need a little space,” Sarah said, suddenly overcome with the need to defend herself.

“I know you aren’t,” Jamie said gently.

“Beth and I—communication has never really been our strong suit. We’re not quite getting each other right now. But we always work it out, whatever it is. For Lily.”

“I know that, too.”

A long beat of silence passed between them that made her want to leave her body behind.

“Thank you for the glasses,” Sarah said again, wrapping them back in the newspaper and closing the lid to the box. “They’re perfect.”

Jamie smiled the kind of smile that held too much to just be about the gift she had given her. “I’d hoped they’d be useful to you. Even if, you know, they’re a little off.”