Page 88 of Breadwinner

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to compose herself. “That’s—no one has said that to me before.”

Sarah smiled at her and shrugged. “People can be dicks sometimes, or maybe they didn’t have the language for how to have this conversation with you. I’m sorry you’ve been sitting with all these feelings alone for so long. That’s not an easy weight to carry.”

“No.” She sniffed. “It’s not.”

Nell stood and crossed the room to where a box of tissues sat before grabbing a few and blowing her nose. The single-ply, hospital-grade tissue scratched uncomfortably against her skin.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, taking the seat next to Sarah once more. “For being you.”

Sarah smiled at her. “Any time.”

There was a soft tap at the door, and they turned to see Nate standing there.

“I heard there were two damsels in need of rescue.” He smiled broadly, leaning against the doorframe. “Now, I thought it was pretty obvious that if you have a shellfish allergy, maybe you shouldn’t eat shellfish, Sarah,” he teased.

“Shut up, Nate,” Nell and Sarah responded at the same time, locking eyes as they shared a smile.

Nate raised his hand in defense. “I’m only joking. Glad you’re okay, but we’re definitely upping our safety checks moving forward. It’s a good thing our Nell here is so studious. You know she made me watch all these videos on how to administer an EpiPen? And now we have them in all her residencesandthe jet?”

Sarah looked at her with adoration. “You did that all for me?”

“I’d do just about anything for you, Sarah.”

SEVENTEEN

SARAH

The Pacific Gymnastics Training Center was filled with its usual high energy when Sarah arrived. She walked across the lobby, clutching a cardboard drink tray from the Grumpy Goat. The familiar sound of creaking spring floors met her ears as she entered the gym area. She paused, scanning the space before spotting Jamie across the room, past the uneven bars, talking Lily through her routine.

It had been a few weeks since she had firmly set the boundary with Beth in her living room, but that didn’t quite stop the guilt she carried over the look Beth had given her. She somehow felt that she had done something wrong, but logically, she knew that wasn’t the case. She identified the feeling and shut it down immediately. Had she maybe been a little more intense with her response than the situation warranted? Possibly. That didn’t stop the feeling, however, that she deserved a fucking medal for finally taking that step toward detaching herself from Beth completely.

Beth had tried to call her the following day, and Sarah had sent her directly to voicemail. When Beth texted, Sarah ignored that, too. If it wasn’t about Lily, it wasn’t her problem anymore.

But it was guilt over the fact that she hadn’t been strong enough until this moment to do what she should have done years ago that found her not only avoiding Beth, but also avoiding Jamie. Jamie was smart, though, and had caught on to her avoidance over the past few weeks.

Sarah had promised Lily that she would swing by the gym after her yoga class, and when she stopped for coffee, she decided to pick up an extra one for Jamie as a peace offering, a way in to gauge what Jamie knew.

Jamie grinned as Sarah approached. That had to be a good sign, right?

“Hey! Happy Wednesday,” Sarah said awkwardly, holding out one of the cups toward her.

Jamie looked at her, puzzled for a moment, but accepted the coffee anyway. “Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. “You remembered I’m a lavender latte girl.”

“Of course I remembered. I somehow ended up surrounded by a family of women who love lavender. You, Lily, and Kelly.”

“And Beth,” Jamie pointed out. “She loves lavender, too.”

“She does, yeah,” Sarah quietly agreed. Beth had always loved lavender. She knew that better than anyone.

“Why are you bringing me coffee? It’s your birthday today; shouldn’t this be the other way around?” Jamie asked, dark eyes searching hers.

“I knew you’d be here today and wanted to do something nice. Besides, I’m not big into birthdays.”

“Thanks, Sarah. I really appreciate it. I needed this today.”

“Everything okay?” Sarah asked tentatively, as she rubbed her thumb against the condensation of her own cup.

“It will be,” Jamie answered, providing her with nothing more.