Page 41 of Breadwinner

So she waited.

Then came the knock. Barely more than a brush of knuckles against wood, but Nell heard it like thunder.

When she opened the door, Sarah was standing there, wind-tousled hair, fiery-eyed, and gorgeous, smelling like rain and pine. Her arms were crossed, sweater sleeves pushed to her elbows, keys still in her hand like she hadn’t decided whether she was staying.

“You called. That’s a first.” A certain snark attached itself to Sarah’s words, accompanied by that devastating smile that made Nell forget why she had even called Sarah in the first place.

This washerSarah standing in front of her now. She could feel the heat in her presence.

Nell swallowed. “I know.”

Sarah stepped further into the room, her eyes scanning her, studying her intently. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know,” Nell said, again more honest than she intended. “I couldn’t focus today. Not after the spa.”

Sarah nodded like she understood, though her brows pinched slightly. “You mean after you ran into me?”

Nell didn’t look away. “That wasn’t it.”

“Then what was it?” Sarah crossed her arms lightly over her chest.

Nell noted the defensive posture. “You,” she said.

“Me?”

“You were small, with your family and around Beth. You shrank in a way that didn’t fit you. I’ve never seen you do that,” Nell said, still trying to make sense of it all.

Sarah’s lips parted, surprise flashing across her expression before she caught it. She tilted her head. “You called me all the way out here to tell me I was small?”

“No,” Nell said. “I called you because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Because that’s not who you are. You’re not someone who fades into the background, Sarah. You fill a room. You spark. You ignite. You’re someone who has the power to set the world on fire. I didn’t like seeing you dull yourself to make other people more comfortable.”

Heat coursed through her as she spoke, and when she was finished, silence hung between them, weighted by her words.

“Okay,” Sarah said, after a moment, uncrossing her arms. “That was a lot to receive.” She shifted, and Nell watched as hermind worked to formulate her next thought. “I can see where you may have a point.”

She ran her fingers through her hair, twisting it into a knot before letting it fall over her shoulders, then sighing, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. The smile she offered felt more like a white flag, a sign of defeat.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s easier this way,” Sarah said at last. “When Beth told me about her relationship with Jamie, I made a choice—to box myself in to keep my family intact. They are the most important thing to me. So I play the role of the calm, collected, supportive coparent. Pretend to be thrilled for Beth while it’s slowly eating me alive.”

That weak smile was back, and she wanted so badly to reach out, to reassure Sarah that she didn’t ever need to do that—to put herself in a box for someone else’s comfort. She stepped closer to her. “Your thought process makes sense,” she said smoothly, circling Sarah, who remained completely still. “But you made one mistake,” she hissed in her ear, enjoying the way the little hairs on the back of her neck rose in anticipation.

“And what would that be?”

Nell passed behind Sarah as she leaned in, lips barely brushing her ear as she said, “You gave away all your power.”

Sarah turned to look at her for a long moment. Then, softer than before, she said, “Why do you care?”

The question landed, kicking off a barrage of thoughts.Because I like watching you shine. Because I feel more alive when you’re fully yourself. Because I would stop whatever I’m doing the moment you needed something. Because your power excites me.But she didn’t say any of that.

“Because you’re too good at playing other people’s games, and I don’t want you to lose your own.”

Sarah took a single step closer. “I’m not in the habit of losing games.”

Nell moved past Sarah to the bar, pouring herself two fingers of bourbon. Sarah never took those sparkling hazel eyes off her, and Nell delighted in the way they dropped not so subtly to her lips as she took a sip of her drink, savoring the moment.

“Come here,” Nell directed in a low voice, curling her index finger deliberately.

Sarah stepped closer at her command until they stood face-to-face. She drank every inch of Sarah the same way she drank her bourbon: unhurried, feeling the burn of her presence.