Page 101 of Breadwinner
Nell nodded. “You can always say no. You have a choice, remember?”
Sarah weighed Nell’s words. There was no way in hell she would be saying no to finally seeing inside this room—the room that had lived at the back of her mind since she first asked about it six months ago. After the months of the “game” they hadplayed, she could only begin to imagine what kind of stuff lived beyond the door in front of them. For a moment, worry set in in the form of a question she had to ask.
“Is there anything in there that’s going to hurt me?”
Her question only made Nell smile more. “No. In this room, the only thing that might get hurt is your ego,” she said smoothly, turning the doorknob, pushing the door open.
Sarah had mentally prepared for a lot of things she might see, but nothing had prepared her for what was actually waiting for her on the other side.
Nell held the door open, allowing her to enter the room first. Her mind was trying to process the unexpected sight. Nell watched her closely, and Sarah knew her well enough to know that she was enjoying her surprise.
“I don’t even have words,” Sarah said, stepping farther into the room.
She was met with neon lights from all angles, some pulsating, some steady. A subdued glow of purple covered them, emanating from faux clouds fixed to the ceiling. Immediately in front of her sat a deep, plush sectional facing a large curved TV screen mounted to the wall. The screen was illuminated in all white, except for a small bouncing green diamond. Mortimer was curled up on the coffee table. Behind the couch, framing the windows, were built-in shelves packed full of what Sarah was sure must have been every board game ever created. She walked cautiously in front of them, scanning the names of the games. Nell’s impressive collection of games seemed to span from vintage to modern and every genre.
“So,” came Nell’s excited voice. “What do you think? Pretty cool, right?”
Sarah turned to face her, still stunned, still processing.
Nell’s face fell. “You’re not excited.”
“No, I am. I’m just—adjusting my expectations,” she answered honestly.
“Were you anticipating something different?” Nell sounded puzzled, and Sarah couldn’t help but laugh.
“Kind of, yeah.”
“I don’t know how I could have been clearer. I told you that this was the game room. That’s exactly what it’s filled with. Games.”
“You’re right about that,” Sarah mused. “But it’s the way that you said it back in November.” She did her best impression of Nell’s low, sultry tone. “‘The game room.’ When you say it like that, it kind of feels like it’s going to be a little morered room of painand a little lesspurple pixel palace.”
Nell blinked at her. “Did you want the red room of pain? Because I can probably make that work if that’s something you’re into. Might take a week or two to pull together, but I can make it happen.”
The sincerity in her offer made Sarah’s heart melt as she wrapped her arms around Nell.
“This is perfect. And so, so, so very you,” she said softly into her hair, inhaling that clean, woodsy, smoky scent that was so quintessentially Nell. “And that’s my favorite part about it.” She pulled back, smiling at Nell.
“I’m still confused as to how you thought this was anything but an actual game room,” Nell teased, as she pulled Sarah around the room, explaining all the different gaming consoles, pointing out her favorite games, and even a plaque on the wall that kept a record of Mario Kart wins between Nell and Nate dating back to their childhood.
“If I had known you were this big of a nerd, I probably would have steered clear of you,” Sarah said, bumping her hip into Nell’s playfully as Nell brought her to the desks against the far wall.
Two desks sat side by side, each with an extensive monitor setup complete with ergonomic gaming chairs and headsets, all backlit with neon lights and collectible figurines.
“Are those Hillary Clinton Funko POPs?” Sarah said, reaching for the box on the shelf, a line of little figurines in brightly colored pantsuits.
“Yes, and don’t touch. They are one of a kind. A gift from Elizabeth Warren. She knows how much I’ve always loved Hillary’s pantsuit collection,” Nell said, as she swatted Sarah’s hand away. But Sarah wasn’t focused on that. No, Sarah’s attention had been drawn to a black bedazzled cat mask lying on the desk to her left.
“Oh. My. God,” she whispered, her fingers tracing the edges of the mask before looking at Nell, who met her gaze with a cunning smile. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Sarah snatched the mask, holding it up to Nell as everything fell into place. The voice, the braid, the sparkly outfit, even this room. It had all been so familiar because Sarah had seen this room before. On her TV screen,every time Lily and Wren watched the Mother Goth live streams.
“When in the world do you have time to partake in your alter-ego life of being Mother Goth, the Sims streamer!?” Sarah asked, her voice filled with the best kind of disbelief.
Nell was beaming now. “I believe I had a rule for that. Time is your most valuable asset; spend it wisely. This”—she gestured around the room—“is how I like to spend my free time. And, you know me, if I can make a little money out of it, I’m going to. Don’t worry, it all gets donated to reputable LGBTQIA+ foundations that work with at-risk youth,” she added.
Sarah looked at the mask still in Nell’s hand, back to Nell, and then around the room. “You are full of surprises, Nell. I’ll give you that.”
“Oh, trust me, I have plenty more up my sleeve. I’m only getting started. But right now? Right now, we’re going to game together. Here,” she said, pulling out the chair next to her. “I had this set up for you. Your own gaming desk.”