Page 37 of After the Siren

Chapter Nineteen

Teaching people to surf was often a bit funny, but teaching Stavs to surf was hilarious. Jake had thought he’d pick it up quickly – he was athletic, and he had good balance and whatever from all of that pretzel yoga.

He did not pick it up quickly.

They’d headed to the beach after dumping their bags and sitting down for a cup of tea.

Paddy and Xen had arrived a few minutes after Jake and Theo, and Keeley had come over for some lunch – and to eyeball Stavs.

He hadn’t told Keeley about what was going on with Stavs, but she was good at picking up clues, and he might have been mentioning Stavs more than was wise.

He could tell her, of course, but then she’d probably give him some good advice, and he wasn’t interested in getting any of that.

Stavs had been allowed to help Lydia assemble sandwiches in the kitchen – a rare privilege.

Jake was not allowed to help with sandwiches because he ‘mangled’ the bread.

Kyle had never been allowed to help with the sandwiches.

Lydia hadn’t liked Kyle, and while she’d never said that, she had her ways of showing it.

Stavs sliced bread beautifully, of course, and actually seemed to enjoy the cup of grass-clippings tea.

His mum had already given Jake a couple of looks that he knew meant we’re going to talk about him later.

Jake had no idea what he was going to say.

He’d enlisted Keeley to help with the surfing lesson because she was a better teacher, and because it meant that Jake could watch while Stavs tried, and failed, to stand up on the board, his face twisted into an adorable expression of intense concentration.

It also meant he could admire Stavs in the borrowed wetsuit.

Xen and Paddy had opted to go for a walk along the beach instead of getting in the water. The water was chilly. But Stavs couldn’t show weakness, of course – not with Keeley striding in as though it were the middle of summer. Jake was going to go in as well, once he’d finished observing.

Stavs and Keeley had hit it off almost immediately.

Jake knew – and maybe Stavs knew – that the surfing was a test. Some dudes weren’t great about learning shit from women.

But Stavs cheerfully deferred to her, and wasn’t even getting that cranky about his consistent failure.

Given what a perfectionist he was on the field, that was a miracle.

Jake went to join them, eventually, and the surfing lesson devolved when Jake pushed a triumphant and upright Stavs off his board. Keeley was drawn into the ensuing melee, and then Plugger plunged into the water to see what was going on.

Jake somehow ended up on Stavs’ back, his legs wrapped around Stavs’ waist while Keeley splashed them.

Stavs was laughing so hard he was unsteady on his feet.

He lost his balance and fell sideways, submerging them both.

They surfaced, both laughing and gasping, and then Jake tackled him and they went under again while Plugger barked gleefully.

Jake didn’t realise anyone was watching them until he heard Keeley say, ‘Oh,’ in the sort of tone you used when you realised the milk had gone off or you’d just tracked something gross into the house.

Jake turned to the shore. He already knew who’d be there.

Kyle was standing on the edge of the water, leaning on his surfboard. It wasn’t a surprise; he spent plenty of weekends back with his family.

Jake hadn’t seen him in person since they’d broken up.

They’d started fighting in the car, taken the fight back to Jake’s room, fucked against the wall, then ended things.

His last memory of the two of them was Kyle turning back to look at him and saying, ‘I’m not waiting around for you to realise you’ve fucked this up.

’ Jake had felt like someone had punched through his ribcage and grabbed his heart.

And also like he wanted to crack Kyle’s skull open and force the way he felt into Kyle’s brain so he would understand and come back.

Now, he waited for a surge of feeling and got ... almost nothing. Echoes of all the things he’d felt, for all those years. He’d never been one to try to hang on to things once he’d been forced to let go.

Plugger – the traitor – went splashing towards Kyle, who leaned down to scratch his ears.

‘We can ignore him,’ Keeley said.

Jake sighed. Kyle didn’t like being ignored. If he wanted to say something, it was probably best to get it over with. And if he hadn’t wanted to say something he would have fucked off into the surf.

‘Is that —’ Stavs started.

‘The dickhead-in-chief?’ Keeley said. ‘Guess he likes having to replace his slashed tyres.’

Jake splashed her. ‘Keeley.’

‘Mmm.’ Stavs’ tone suggested he’d stand watch for her while she did it. It was kind of nice.

The three of them walked out of the surf together. Kyle was still hot. Unfortunately. Same wavy brown hair, same striking green eyes, same broad shoulders and good arms. He’d been the first guy Jake had ever looked at, even if Kyle hadn’t looked back for years.

He wasn’t as hot as Stavs, and Jake was petty enough to be pleased. Not that he and Stavs were together , but Kyle would definitely assume they were after all the wrestling in the water.

Stavs had grabbed his towel and was giving them some space. Keeley had joined him, steadfastly pretending Kyle didn’t exist, even though they’d known each other for more than twenty years. She did not forgive.

‘Hi, Jake,’ Kyle said, but his eyes were on Stavs, who’d unzipped the wetsuit and pulled it down to his waist. It was a good look on him. His hair was getting a little unruly, tangled and drying in the breeze.

And now Jake was definitely staring at Stavs’ bare chest. He returned his attention to Kyle. ‘Did you want something?’

It wasn’t like they’d agreed to stay friends.

Plugger looked at Jake balefully, but he trotted over to Keeley when she snapped her fingers. Plugger had always liked Kyle. Like Jake, he wasn’t very smart around hot dudes who scratched behind his ears. So to speak.

Kyle was giving him the kind of look Jake had never learned to read. ‘Just saying hi. I’m visiting Mum and Dad for the weekend.’

Jake nodded. ‘Hi.’

Kyle tilted his head towards Stavs. ‘Nice to see you moved on quickly.’

That was a lot, given that Kyle’s Insta stories for the last eight months had been exclusively blurry club photos and low-key thirst traps.

Jake decided that, for once in his life, he was going to keep quiet.

He didn’t have anything to say to Kyle. He’d imagined, so many times, finding the words to shut Kyle up, to make Kyle realise he’d been wrong .

But he’d never been able to match Kyle with words and he never would. It seemed less important now.

Stavs came over before Jake caved and broke the silence. ‘Coffee time, Jaze?’ he asked. He wrapped an arm around Jake’s shoulders. It was the type of thing any of Jake’s mates might have done. It still sent a little tendril of satisfaction uncurling in Jake’s stomach.

‘Hi,’ Kyle said, turning all his charm on Stavs. ‘Haven’t seen you around before.’ It wasn’t flirtatious. Not quite.

‘This is Stavs,’ Jake said. ‘One of my teammates.’

‘Jake hasn’t mentioned you,’ Kyle said. ‘New to the team? I’m Kyle.’ He held out his hand.

‘I know,’ Stavs said. He looked at Kyle’s hand like it was covered in dog shit. ‘Jake has mentioned you .’

Keeley made a soft, choked-off noise that might have been the beginning of a laugh. Kyle looked genuinely taken aback. It was great.

Stavs kept his arm around Jake’s shoulders, and Kyle was forced to let his hand drop.

‘You done chatting?’ Stavs asked. ‘I can bring a coffee back for you if you want.’

‘Nah, we’re done here,’ Jake said. ‘Good to see you, mate,’ he said to Kyle, and turned away. He didn’t bother looking back. It was easy with Stavs’ arm warm across his shoulders.

Keeley was almost skipping beside them as they walked up towards the kiosk. Jake knew that Stavs was a bit of a coffee snob, so the kiosk was going to be a problem for him.

‘Wow, that was rude ,’ Keeley said to Stavs when they were out of earshot.

Stavs shrugged. ‘He deserved it.’

‘He did .’

Keeley bought them all coffee and handed Stavs his with a look of profound approval. Stavs did not look at the coffee with the same level of approval once he’d taken a sip, but he couldn’t have expected much. The coffee machine had made him visibly upset.

They watched the ocean as they drank their coffees, sitting by the kiosk. There was a cluster of surfers out beyond the break. Stavs was looking thoughtfully in their direction.

‘Are there ever sharks?’ he asked.

Keeley started to laugh. ‘Not usually.’

‘Hmm.’

‘I don’t want Kyle to get eaten by a shark,’ Jake felt moved to say. ‘He’s not ... it wasn’t all his fault, you know.’

‘You’re entitled to your opinion,’ Stavs said.

They split a bag of hot chips and a couple of potato cakes between them. Keeley actually gave Stavs the last chip. Gave it to him. She would have put a plastic fork through Jake’s hand if he’d tried to take it.

Jake let himself wonder what it would be like if Stavs was here as his boyfriend and not just the friend he’d been fucking daily.

Then stopped, because he’d always been pretty good at just not thinking about things.

He’d messed that up, at the end, with Kyle.

He wasn’t going to make that mistake again, no matter how good it felt to be sitting beside Stavs, their thighs pressed together, here in his favourite place in the world.

He wasn’t smart, but he could learn.

By the time it got to dusk, Theo was tired in the satisfying way that came from being outside and active all day.

As he’d suspected, he was definitely never going to be a surfer, but it had been fun.

Surprisingly fun. He’d been so focused on trying to stand up on the bloody board that it had wiped his brain clean of everything else.