Page 28 of After the Siren

Chapter Fourteen

Jake needed to get his shit together. He needed a shower and a coffee, and he definitely needed to stop kissing Stavs like they’d snuck away to make out after the school formal. There had been way too much kissing for we can’t do this again or for bros just fucking around.

Why had there been so much kissing? Maybe casual hook-ups with girls were different. Maybe there was, as a rule, more kissing. But by Jake’s standards, there had been an unexpected amount of kissing.

Still, Stavs was a very good kisser, and if they kept kissing for much longer they were definitely heading for a second round.

Jake felt good about that. He felt good about almost everything with Stavs’ mouth against his, though he probably should have mopped up a bit before they’d gotten pressed up together again.

Stavs didn’t wax his chest, and Jake was a bit obsessed with the dark spread of hair across his pecs.

‘Hey, Jaze,’ Paddy said from the hall. Jake opened his mouth to say something, but the door bounced off the doorstop before he could get a word out.

It was Jake’s fault, really. He’d been too caught up in Stavs to flip the do-not-disturb sign on the door.

Stavs almost yeeted himself out of the bed in surprise, narrowly avoiding kneeing Jake in the balls. He managed to burrito himself in the sheet, which of course meant that Jake was very much not covered by the sheet.

There was no possible explanation for what was going on other than We just fucked . They were both naked, there was come drying tacky on Jake’s stomach, and Jake was pretty sure there was a growing bruise on the side of his neck where Stavs had really gotten his teeth in at one point.

Oh, and his dick was still at half-mast. That too. Paddy’s entrance had had a chilling effect, but not chilling enough.

‘Shit, sorry,’ Paddy said and retreated, pulling the door shut behind him. Jake heard him dissolve into laughter in the hall. ‘You want breakfast, Jaze? Stavs?’ he asked from the other side of the door. ‘Or did you already eat?’

‘Go fuck yourself,’ Jake called. ‘But yeah, give us twenty. Gotta shower.’

‘Keep it down in there, I don’t want to hear it.’

‘Like you wouldn’t love it.’

Paddy’s footsteps receded down the hall.

He was still laughing. Jake grabbed the nearest item of clothing – hopefully it belonged to him – and took stock while he did a quick clean-up.

Stavs looked like he’d taken a hard knock to the head, so round two was probably off the table.

He was still wrapped in the sheet. He looked a bit like one of those confused rescue animals swaddled in a towel, eyes wide.

‘It’s fine,’ Jake said. ‘Paddy won’t say anything.’

Stavs blinked. ‘Okay.’

‘Are you good?’

‘I’m ... yeah.’ Stavs didn’t sound very convincing. Jake hoped it was because Paddy walking in on them had been a surprise, not because he was freaking out about boning a dude. Jake usually tried to be gone prior to any post-sex identity crises.

‘Seriously, Paddy won’t say anything. Well, probably to Xen, but not to anyone else. We might cop it a bit from those two.’

Paddy rarely passed over an opportunity to give people shit. He wouldn’t gossip, but Jake was confident they were both going to be roasted over breakfast like a couple of vine-ripe tomatoes. Assuming breakfast was still on the table.

‘I know.’ Stavs closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and shook his head. ‘We ... should we talk? About ...’ He made an expansive hand gesture.

They should probably talk. ‘Or we could get breakfast?’ Jake suggested.

‘Sure.’ Jake wasn’t sure whether Stavs looked relieved or not. Jake was relieved. He needed to recover from it before they talked about it, or alternatively not talk about it ever.

He could be chill. He was chill. He’d hooked up with a teammate before. Until Taylor got traded, the two of them had a good thing going. Although, thinking about it, Jake wasn’t sure they’d ever kissed . It hadn’t been a kissing kind of thing.

He and Stavs showered – one at a time, unfortunately – and Stavs got distracted from whatever was going on in his head when he realised that it was his shirt that Jake had mopped up with. Jake gave him a spare Falcons t-shirt and resisted the urge to kiss the irritation off his face.

There was not going to be any more kissing.

Xen arrived back from a run as they got into the kitchen.

Paddy was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Xen gave him a puzzled look, but Paddy kept his mouth shut.

The four of them managed to get out of the house, snag a premium spot in the cafe courtyard and order food without disaster.

Jake was almost relaxed by the time the food arrived.

Stavs seemed relatively chill – as chill as Stavs ever seemed.

It was a beautiful morning, and he’d gotten off.

No complaints from Jake, except that he’d been denied the chance to get off again.

He hadn’t expected Xen to be the one to bring it all unstuck.

‘So who ended up on top?’ Xen asked, slicing a neat corner off his toast.

Paddy snorted orange juice all over his scrambled eggs and started to cough.

‘Sorry?’ Stavs was choking on a mouthful of bagel.

Xen handed Paddy a serviette. ‘In Mario Kart ?’

‘Yeah,’ Paddy said, emerging from behind his serviette. ‘You guys were heading for Rainbow Road when I went to bed, right? Or was it Peach Beach?’

‘Funny,’ Jake said, attempting to project Shut the fuck up at Paddy.

‘It was a tie,’ Stavs said. He was studying the remains of his latte with grim intensity.

If Paddy was the reason Stavs decided they shouldn’t fuck again, Jake was going to murder him.

Paddy took a sip of his coffee. ‘No tie-breaker? Did you get all tangled up in Sweet Sweet Canyon or something?’

‘We got tired,’ Stavs explained.

Paddy grinned at him. ‘Giant Goomba too much for you?’

Stavs got to his feet so quickly the table shook. ‘Bathroom,’ he said, and escaped ... not in the direction of the bathroom. He was going to have to circle back.

‘You’re a dick,’ Jake told Paddy, and swiped the last mushroom off his plate. ‘Save it for me. Don’t be mean to him.’

Paddy put his hands up. ‘Fine, fine.’

Xen looked between Jake and Paddy, then glanced at Stavs taking the long way around to the bathrooms to avoid walking past their table. He looked back at Jake. ‘You didn’t.’

‘I didn’t what?’

‘He did,’ Paddy said. ‘He definitely did.’

Xen sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. ‘Well, I guess it was inevitable.’

‘What?’

‘You’ve been batting your lashes at him like an anime heroine for weeks,’ Paddy said, and demonstrated.

‘I have not!’ Jake speared a piece of haloumi off Paddy’s plate. The best piece.

When Stavs returned, he was holding his phone in front of him like a shield. ‘I forgot I had a, um, brunch this morning. I’m going to jump in an Uber. See you tomorrow.’

He was gone before Jake could manage a bye.

Fuck.

Paddy started to laugh again.

‘Bro.’ Jake glared at him. ‘That was your fault. ’

‘How was it my fault?’

‘Did you have to keep fucking bringing it up?’

Paddy blinked at him. ‘The situation is objectively very funny.’ He turned to Xen. ‘Jaze didn’t flip the sign.’ He quirked an eyebrow at Jake. ‘Sorry for interrupting. Though it looked like —’

‘You don’t get it.’ Jake realised he’d raised his voice, so he lowered it. Xen was frowning now. ‘It was ...’ He stopped. It was Stavs’ business. Jake wasn’t going to tell anyone that it had been Stavs’ first time with a guy. ‘Forget it,’ Jake said.

Xen was still frowning. He was too fucking perceptive for his own good. For Jake’s good. ‘Is Stavs okay?’

‘I’m sure fucking Jake isn’t that —’ Paddy started.

‘Seriously, would you can it ?’ Jake hadn’t meant to sound that angry. Hadn’t realised he was that angry.

Paddy raised his hands again. ‘Sorry,’ he said, and Jake knew he was. Paddy wouldn’t be a dick about something like this on purpose.

‘It’s fine.’

Xen put a hand on his arm. ‘Jaze, it’s okay,’ he said. ‘It will be okay.’

‘Sure,’ Jake told him, and started on his eggs. ‘Stavs said he didn’t want it to be weird, so I’m sure it will be chill.’

He wasn’t even convincing himself.

Theo

Hi

Sorry I had to bail on breakfast, I forgot I was meeting friends

I know we didn’t talk about it this morning, but I don’t think we should hook up again. We don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen but I just want to stay focused on the team and my game, and I don’t want to mess up our friendship

To be clear, I’m not assuming you would want to hook up again, I was just thinking about it because we didn’t really clarify this morning

I had a good time

I hope you also had a good time

Well, shit.

Jake didn’t throw his phone down onto the bed, because he was an adult. He threw himself down onto the bed instead.

He was sore from a particularly brutal physio session, and he just wanted to curl up and nap.

It was stupid to be in his feelings about this.

Stavs had said it shouldn’t happen again.

He was even right. But he’d also panted, ‘Next time,’ against Jake’s mouth, and some stupid part of Jake had gotten its hopes up.

‘I don’t want it to get weird,’ he mimicked, rolling onto his back and glaring at his phone.

It had been really fucking weird. From the second Jake had arrived at the club for post-game recovery until the moment Stavs had bolted out of there.

When Jake had brought Stavs a coffee, he’d looked at it like the froth might be hiding an unsolicited dick pic.

The little typing dots appeared, disappeared, then appeared again.

Disappeared.

Appeared again.

Disappeared.

Appeared.

Jake

its fine bro no sweat, i get it

Jake closed his phone and shoved it out of reach. He did get it. People said things after they’d just come down his throat, and then they thought better of them later.

‘Bro, what did you do ?’ Paddy asked, five days later.

For a person who hadn’t wanted to fuck up a friendship, Stavs was doing a pretty good job of fucking up a friendship. It was hard to be friends with someone who avoided being within talking distance.

Paddy was sitting with his back against one of the goal posts, drinking a smoothie.

They could have gone home after the morning’s training, but it was a stunning day and the oval was empty, so they’d made snacks and headed for the goal square.

Sitting near the goals always made Jake feel like he was back in school.

‘I didn’t do anything!’

‘Are you sure? Did you bite him on the dick or something?’

‘Fuck off.’

In truth, Jake was starting to wonder if he had done something. Had he been pushy? Had Stavs wanted to bail all along?

Xen knocked his shoulder gently against Jake’s. ‘You okay?’

Jake blew out a breath. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Sure,’ Paddy said.

‘Well, Stavs is being weird as fuck, but other than that it’s all good.’

‘Yeah,’ Paddy agreed. ‘He’s playing okay, though.’

That was, luckily, true. Stavs had taken all those victory vibes and channelled them into some truly stellar form in the last few training sessions. Or maybe he’d just needed to get laid. Maybe Jake should take the credit.

‘Did the sex suck?’ Paddy asked.

‘The sex was good.’

The sex had been good, but so had the kissing, and the waking up together, and the period of time when Jake had thought maybe they were going to be chill about it and that maybe it would happen again. He didn’t want a boyfriend, obviously, but it could have been good.

‘Then what’s his problem?’ Paddy asked.

‘How would I fucking know?’ Jake knew he hadn’t managed to keep the hurt out of his voice.

Xen was making the face he made when he thought Jake and Paddy were both being oblivious. ‘Maybe he hasn’t hooked up casually with a lot of people,’ Xen suggested. ‘So he’s freaked out. Especially because you’re his friend, Jaze.’

Paddy looked a bit incredulous. ‘Have you seen him?’

‘Being attractive doesn’t mean you have a lot of casual sex,’ Xen said.

‘Yeah, but he hooked up with Jaze, so obviously he is down for some casual sex,’ Paddy pointed out.

Xen shrugged. ‘He’s talked about one long-term girlfriend, and then maybe another girlfriend during high school. I’m just speculating. But maybe he’s freaking out because you’re friends, and he doesn’t know how to act around a friend he’s had sex with.’

It seemed ... possible. Jake preferred it to most of the explanations he was coming up with. It was much less bad than he regrets having sex with you.

‘Okay, Yoda, so what do I do about it?’

‘Talk to him,’ Paddy said, at the same time as Xen said, ‘Give him some space.’

Paddy gave Xen a hurt look. ‘You always say to talk to people.’

Xen put his smoothie aside and lay back on the grass. ‘I don’t know, I’m just guessing. But I’d say trying to make him talk will probably freak him out more, so give him a couple more days, keep being chill about it, and if he doesn’t come to you, then try to talk to him.’

‘So wise,’ Paddy told him. Xen rolled his eyes, but he looked pleased with himself.

‘Incoming,’ Paddy said, and Jake glanced back towards the club. Raze was walking purposefully towards them. ‘Bet he’s coming to ask why your boy is being a freakshow.’

‘He’s not my boy,’ Jake said. And he wasn’t going to be. Clearly.