Page 14 of After the Siren
Chapter Seven
Did you text Happy Christmas to someone who was spending it with a parent who might be dying? Theo typed it out, deleted it, typed it out again, and deleted it again.
He was probably overthinking it.
His family would never spend actual Christmas in Melbourne – Coptic Christmas was in January, and they’d have to be in Sydney for the festivities – but Eva and Theo had both said they couldn’t make it back this year, so their parents had decided to make a trip to see them.
Or to see Eva and to quietly disapprove of all of Theo’s choices.
At least if he’d gone back to Sydney there would have been enough chaos to diffuse some of the disapproval.
Maybe one of his cousins would have committed a worse sin than becoming a professional footballer.
His phone buzzed in his hand. Jake had texted him happy xmas and a selfie: a golden retriever wearing a lot of tinsel was in the process of trying to lick his face. Jake looked so happy that something in Theo’s stomach flipped over, and he found himself smiling back at the phone.
He’d known going to Davo had been the right thing to do, but that hadn’t made it easy .
The coach had studied him intently as Theo had asked for Jake to be excused from the additional days of extras – Theo said he’d do them, do double, that the altercation had been his fault.
He’d thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest; his sweaty hands shoved into his pockets.
‘Alright,’ Davo had said, after what had felt like an eternity, though must have only been a few seconds.
‘Thanks.’ Theo had wondered if he should say anything more, if he should try to explain further. But any explanation would just sound like an excuse.
He’d been about to walk away when Davo had said, ‘You’re doing well, Bestavros. Keep it up. We’ll treat this one as an outlier.’ Then, more sternly, ‘It had better be an outlier.’
Theo had nodded and fled.
Happy Christmas , Theo sent back, along with a picture of their tree.
Theo’s contribution had been to put up the lights under strict supervision.
It had taken three attempts before Eva was satisfied.
It was the sort of tree that looked like something out of a David Jones catalogue: all matching ivory ornaments, except for a couple of tastefully placed antique ones.
Jake
Theo
Not my work
Jake
yeh I figured
Theo
Rude.
Jake sent him a picture of a much less coordinated Christmas tree. A lot of the ornaments had obviously been made by Jake in school. Many of them were football themed. Junior-primary Jake had a vision for his future.
Theo hesitated, then wrote I hope your Mum is doing ok.
Jake sent him a picture of a woman with buzzed grey hair and Jake’s eyes, sitting on the beach, holding up a stubby in a cheers gesture. She was in a grey Falcons singlet and there was a familiar mermaid tattoo on her left bicep, faded but still clearly distinguishable.
Theo
You have the same tattoo as your mum?
Jake
my mum is cool
Jake sent him another picture. He’d angled the phone so his mum’s tattoo and his own were in the frame together. He’d hooked a thumb in the waistband of his rainbow-lorikeet board shorts and pulled them down to expose the whole tattoo, as though Theo hadn’t seen it before.
Theo flicked the fan on. It really was a warm day.
Theo
Nice boardies
Jake
present from lydia
(mum’s gf)
Jake sent him a sequence of pictures – one of a woman who must have been Lydia wearing a kaftan in the same print as Jake’s boardies, an impressive beach tent, the golden retriever splashing gleefully in the waves with a girl in a yellow bikini (Jake’s sister?
Jake’s friend?). Jake’s Christmas Day seemed very focused on the beach and not very focused on anything to do with Christmas.
Theo sent him a picture of the unhinged Nativity icon that had been in the family for a good few decades.
It had lost a bit of its gilt over the years, but none of its character.
The colour combinations on the robes of the Magi weren’t dissimilar to some of Jake’s outfit selections.
Jake sent a sequence of emojis that Theo interpreted as amusement.
Jake
do ur family do church shit on xmas?
not that its shit if ur into that
Theo
My parents + extended family do, I don’t usually go
Christmas for us isn’t until Jan 7
Jake
cool
like xen
Xen’s family were Greek Orthodox, but Jake probably didn’t want to hear about Monophysitism versus Miaphysitism.
Theo shifted to arrange himself more comfortably on the bed.
He wasn’t sure why Jake was texting him instead of swimming, or surfing, or messaging one of his million mates, but at least it was a distraction from the imminent arrival of Theo’s parents.
Jake
wat kind of church do they go 2?
can i ask that?
im not being a dick im just curious
paddy says i can ask qs about race and stuff if they come from a ‘place of genuine curiosity’ and if i cant google the answer
paddy talks a lot of shit tho
Theo snorted. He wouldn’t have picked Jake as an over-texter. Or maybe he would have, given that Jake always seemed to say the first thing that came into his brain.
Theo
Haha it’s fine. We’re Coptic
My parents had to get out of Egypt in the eighties
Jake
cool
well not cool
u kno wat i mean
Theo did. For once.
Jake
wat r u doing 2day then
***
Theo
Hiding from my sister. Our parents are arriving today and she’s lost it
Jake
***
Theo
She wants everything to be perfect
Jake
ur not helping?
Theo
She shouts at me whenever I try
Jake
g2g keeley wants 2 surf
good luck
Theo was about five chapters into Death on the Nile when Jake messaged him again, post-surf.
By the time Theo felt it was safe to venture out of his room, he knew that the dog was called Plugger, that Jake’s friend Keeley (of the yellow bikini) was a better surfer than Jake was, and that Lydia refused to cook turkey on Christmas because, ‘Nobody likes it and it’s too hot.
’ He didn’t realise how long they’d been texting until he got downstairs and discovered his parents were ten minutes away and Eva wanted him to put on a nicer shirt.
He thought about arguing – there was nothing wrong with his Falcons polo – but arguing with Eva was usually fruitless, so he went to change.
Jake was sprawled on the back steps, full of prawns and smoked salmon, scrolling while he got some afternoon sun. His mum, Lydia and Keeley had all flopped onto the couch to watch a detective Christmas special, and Jake had opted for some quality time with Plugger.
The message banner popped up as he was looking at some vintage sneakers.
Theo
I wish I could pull a fire alarm rn
Jake blinked at the text. Plugger took advantage and wrenched the rope toy out of his hand.
He ran a triumphant lap of the backyard, trying to bark around the mouthful of hemp, then hurled himself at Jake’s feet, tail thudding.
Jake gave him a belly scratch with one bare foot as he considered the message.
He could text back, or he could just ... call Stavs. Which he’d never done before, but the text did seem like a cry for help. Or at least for rescue. Jake wasn’t going to leave a teammate high and dry.
Also, he wanted Stavs to be his friend. Stavs clearly needed some friends, and Jake liked him. They were going to be friends, whether Stavs thought he wanted to be friends or not.
Jake called him.
Theo’s phone buzzed against the table, interrupting his father’s question about his Law degree.
It was always good to see his parents, except for the way it made something in him ache a little, like a broken bone that had never healed quite right.
It didn’t help that, apart from a little silver in their hair, they looked the same as when he was a kid.
Jenny the psychologist had gently introduced the concept of ‘mind-reading’ to their last session, talking him through all the problems of making assumptions about what other people were thinking – but knowing that’s what he was doing didn’t really help when his parents exchanged a look he knew meant He’ll get his head on straight eventually .
Maybe he was mind-reading, but he was reading their minds right.
His parents were the sort of people who managed to get off flights looking completely unrumpled.
Maybe it was just practise. They were also the sort of people who could come on a ten-day trip with only carry-on baggage.
Priya was convinced they’d exchanged their souls for magically capacious carry-on cases.
They were having drinks in the living room and ‘catching up’, which meant that his parents were asking Eva about work, updating both of them about their siblings, and pretending that Theo didn’t have a job.
Normally that meant Theo just avoided a loving but intense interrogation, which is what Eva got, but this year his parents did have Theo’s studies to ask about.
The degree was going fine, but the questions and suggestions were starting to feel like pinpricks: bearable individually, but painful in accumulation.
No, he didn’t have time to pick up a couple of additional subjects.
No, he didn’t think he’d be able to get involved in extracurriculars.
No, he wasn’t going pick up some work experience.
Work experience . As though he were a fifteen-year-old and not a professional fucking athlete.
He picked up the phone as it continued to vibrate, expecting to see Priya’s face on the screen.
She was good at responding promptly to an SOS; it wouldn’t have been the first time she’d strategically called him on a holiday.
His parents loved Priya, of course. They’d definitely spent a period of time hoping they’d get her as a daughter-in-law.
They could conceivably still get her as a daughter-in-law, but only if Eva had a change of heart about heterosexuality.
It wasn’t Priya. Theo stared at the screen for a few seconds. Why was Jake calling him? A butt dial?
‘Everything okay?’ Eva asked.
A life raft was a life raft. ‘I should take this ... it’s someone from the team. Excuse me.’
He ducked out the back door into the garden before anyone could tell him off for checking his phone. It was a blisteringly hot day, but there was a nice nook of shade under the majestic gum tree that shaded the back courtyard.
He answered the call. ‘Hi.’
‘Hey.’
Theo waited for Jake to explain why he’d called.
‘You said you wanted to pull a fire alarm,’ Jake said, just as Theo was about to ask if he was still on the line.
Well, that explained it. ‘Oh shit, sorry. I meant to send that message to someone else.’
‘I kinda figured. But I didn’t want to leave you, like, stranded or whatever.’
‘You called me on Christmas so you could be a figurative fire alarm?’
Theo could almost hear Jake’s shrug. ‘Well, yeah, I’m not gonna ignore a cry for help.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You gonna tell me why you wanted to pull the alarm?’
‘No,’ Theo said, the horror of explaining his family to Jake overcoming his manners.
Jake just laughed. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I’ll make something up.’
‘What?’
‘I’m just gonna assume it was something really dramatic.’
‘Like what?’
‘I’m not gonna tell you.’ There was a muted woof through the phone and Jake said, ‘Alright, alright ... Sorry, Plugger was pissed I stopped patting him.’
Needing to be the centre of attention was clearly a Cunningham family trait.
‘So, it worked?’ Jake asked, shifting to scratch Plugger’s belly with his other foot. The dog wriggled happily, and Jake was definitely going to have to de-grass-seed him before they went inside.
‘It did. I told everyone that it was probably something important about the team.’
‘Yeah, super-important team business.’ Jake considered his options. ‘Like, maybe if I don’t call all my teammates on Christmas then our whole season is cursed.’
Stavs snorted.
‘Or ... hmm ... I needed to discuss the theme of our New Year’s party with you. Because if we don’t get the theme right —’
‘The whole season is cursed?’
‘Got it.’
‘Or you could be discussing tactics with me?’
‘Nah.’ Jake said. ‘I’m not the strategy guy. We need Xen on the phone for that.’
‘I mean, my family don’t know that.’
‘Yeah, but I don’t wanna have to pretend to be talking game strategy to you. You’ll judge.’
‘Who says I’m not judging already?’
Plugger barked, because he liked to get involved in conversations.
‘Is that Plugger?’ Stavs asked.
‘Yeah, wanna see?’
Stavs did want to see, so Jake switched to a video call and got Plugger into the frame. That was never difficult – it was usually more difficult to keep Plugger’s nose more than two centimetres away from the camera.
‘He’s just like you,’ Stavs said.
‘Excuse me?’
‘No sense of personal space.’
Jake dodged a barrage of licks directed at his mouth. He loved Plugger, but there was a lot of drool, and Plugger really needed one of his doggie toothbrush chews.
‘Hey, I don’t slobber on my teammates.’
‘Not much.’
Jake didn’t trust himself to respond to that – he wasn’t really sure where he and Stavs were sitting on the Oh shit we both like dudes spectrum.
In Jake’s experience, the spectrum went from Let’s never speak about this, or to each other, again (1) to Let’s fuck immediately (10) .
They definitely weren’t at either extreme, but they could have been basically anywhere else.
Jake was at about (8) if he was honest, but Stavs was a mystery.
‘Also, I brush my teeth,’ Jake said, before he could say something stupid. Stavs had turned his camera on as well, so Jake could see his face and a bit of a cute-looking courtyard. Stavs was wearing a shirt with a collar. Madness.
‘I know, you never rinse the basin after.’
‘Wow, you really hold a grudge. You could have just told me at the time.’
‘Then I would have had to stop being annoyed.’
That was ... surprisingly honest. ‘Maybe I was seeing how long it would take you to crack,’ Jake admitted.
‘You’re —’
‘A dick? I know.’
‘It’s not as charming as you think it is.’
‘Hey, you’re still talking to me.’
‘I can hang up.’
‘So do it.’
Stavs didn’t do it.
‘Are you doing anything for New Year’s?’ Jake asked. Plugger was now on the step next to him, panting his doggie breath into Jake’s face.
‘Probably not.’
‘You are now. Paddy, Xen and I always have a party. Just bring yourself and some beer or something.’
Stavs’ eyes narrowed. ‘Is there a theme?’
‘No theme,’ Jake promised. ‘We save that for Mad Monday, and birthdays.’
‘Thanks for the warning. I don’t know —’
Keeley called Jake’s name from inside, and Jake cut Stavs off before he could come up with a bullshit excuse. ‘Sorry, Stavs. I gotta go. You good?’
‘I’m good,’ Stavs said. ‘Thanks, by the way.’
‘No problem. See you at New Year’s.’ Jake ended the call before Stavs could argue.