Page 30 of After the Siren

Chapter Sixteen

Was Jake hallucinating? He thought he saw Stavs beckoning him over to a booth in the player lounge.

But he also hadn’t started on his coffee, so it was possible that he was having a caffeine-deficiency delusion.

He’d brought a flat white for Stavs as well, because he’d planned to find him, corner him, and then bully him into being normal again.

He hadn’t run this plan past anyone else. But something had to be done, before he gave Stavs a fright and copped the blame for him dropping a barbell on his chest or falling down some stairs. Thank God his on-field performance hadn’t suffered.

Jake had thought a lot about what Xen had said.

Sex had never really been a big deal to Jake, except during the couple of years when he’d been pretty focused on finding people to have it with.

As a kid, his mum had given him a very comprehensive sex education at the kitchen table.

It had been more useful than the sex education he’d gotten at school.

Sex education from school did mean that he could label the fallopian tubes on a diagram, though. If that ever became relevant.

Sure, he’d had a couple of sexual experiences that he didn’t dwell on, but they were kind of funny.

In retrospect. Sex was fun. Having it with people you genuinely liked was more fun.

He’d never found hooking up with friends difficult to navigate, and the good thing about sex with people you weren’t dating was that they didn’t expect you to do things like announce your sexuality to the whole world.

He wasn’t naive enough to think that everyone thought that way about sex.

Xen obviously didn’t – though they’d never really talked about that.

And it did seem like Stavs’ family were kind of religious.

Maybe Jake should have talked to Stavs about it before he’d had a chance to get in his head about it.

Jake hadn’t done that, though, so they were going to talk about it now, even if Jake had to lock them in the equipment room and tie Stavs up with a skipping rope.

‘Hey,’ Jake said, handing over the coffee. ‘One soy flat white. There was a love heart in the foam but the lid has probably fucked it. That was a message from the barista, to be clear. I think she likes you. She remembers your name.’ He stopped himself from talking.

‘Thanks.’ Stavs took a sip and seemed to brace himself, staring at the fried mushrooms on his plate. ‘Can we talk?’

‘Good idea.’ Jake slid into the booth. ‘You wanna start, or should I?’

‘I’ll start,’ Stavs said. Jake waited. ‘Sorry I’ve been so awkward.’ Stavs didn’t quite manage to meet Jake’s eyes. ‘I guess I just freaked out a bit.’

‘Yeah, I got that. Because I’m a dude?’

‘What? No!’ Stavs did meet his eyes then.

He looked so shocked that Jake felt like someone had grabbed a weight he’d been struggling to get back onto the rack and lifted it for him.

Stavs managed to keep looking at Jake’s face. ‘I guess I’ve been ... I haven’t really ... hooked up with a friend before.’ He swallowed and glanced away again. ‘And I’ve been finding it hard to, uh, not think about it. When I see you.’

‘Think about it?’ That sounded worrying.

‘In, uh, in a good way.’ Stavs was back to carefully looking everywhere except Jake’s face.

Smirking would be inappropriate. Jake knew that.

‘Are you ... are you smiling ?’ Stavs was obviously trying to sound annoyed, but one corner of his mouth twitched.

‘No,’ Jake lied.

‘You’re the fucking worst.’ Stavs was laughing a bit, though, and Jake wanted him to keep laughing, wanted it to turn into a proper laugh.

‘It’s just nice to know I left an impression.’

Stavs swallowed, the smile fading. ‘I guess I was kinda embarrassed, too.’

Well, they were really whole-assing the talking. ‘Why?’

‘Because I didn’t ... you know.’

Jake blinked. ‘Bro, it’s all good, I told you.’ It had, in fact, been great.

‘I kinda bailed halfway.’

Jake was starting to feel like he’d screwed up the location of this talk. They probably shouldn’t be discussing the quality of the sex they’d had in the player lounge.

‘You really didn’t, though.’ Jake said. Stavs looked down, and Jake really needed him to stop looking sad.

‘ Look, I get that it can be ... kinda complicated, or whatever,’ he continued.

‘But I had a great time, and if you had a good time too, then it’s all good.

There’s not, like ... if it feels good, it’s good, right?

And hey ...’ He reached across to touch Stavs’ hand with his own. ‘It felt good.’

Stavs looked at Jake’s fingers resting on the back of his hand. ‘Yeah.’ He took a slow breath. ‘Yeah, it did.’

His eyes met Jake’s, then dropped to Jake’s lips.

That was a problem, because now Jake knew they were both thinking about it.

He was remembering the way Stavs had felt under his hands, the way he’d kissed, how good it had been when he’d lost it a little, his hands on Jake’s ass, on Jake’s thighs, a little clumsy.

Stavs coughed. ‘We, uh ... that doesn’t mean I think we should ...’

Jake moved his hand. ‘I get it. Really.’ And he did. He didn’t agree , but he did get it. Stavs was pushing the last few mushrooms around his plate. They looked good. ‘You gonna eat those?’

Stavs blinked at him. ‘Um, no?’

He sounded unsure. ‘You snooze, you lose,’ Jake told him and speared a mushroom.

‘Hey, Jaze. Oh, hey, Stavs.’

Jake looked up. He’d missed Paddy and Xen coming through the door. Jake expected a comment about the fact he and Stavs were sitting together, but instead Paddy just held out his phone. ‘Have you two seen this?’ He didn’t sound like his usual self.

Stavs leaned across the table and Jake tried not to be conscious of the spot where their arms were touching. Why did Stavs have to smell so good? It wasn’t fair.

But it only took about five seconds of the video for Jake to forget all about how good Stavs smelled.

It was a Full Forward clip. Jake felt Stavs go tense next to him.

One of the hosts eyeballed the camera, smiling unpleasantly.

‘And we all know the most exciting thing that’s happening this week,’ he said.

‘Let’s give you a reminder.’ He gestured and a video spun up onto the screen and started playing.

Someone had obviously gone to a lot of effort to put together thirty seconds of the worst AFLW bloopers; most of them were from at least a couple of seasons ago.

It was mean, and unnecessary, and a shitty way to ring in the first week of AFLW pre-season games (the Falcons were playing tomorrow), but he wasn’t sure why Paddy was looking like he wanted to kill someone.

Then the video vanished, and he got it. The hosts of Full Forward were on the screen again, dressed up in what Jake wasn’t going to call ‘drag’, because drag was awesome. One of the hosts was obviously meant to be Gabby, and another was wearing Dex’s number.

For a second Jake thought – hoped, maybe – that the skit was going to be a spoof of all the horrible takes on the AFLW on social media.

Yeah, nah.

He wanted to reach down and turn it off. He didn’t. He was going to watch it, and then he was going to do something about it. Paddy looked like he was going to storm the Full Forward studio with an axe.

‘What the fuck ,’ Stavs said when the video ended.

Jake should say something. He wanted to say something. But all he could think about was his mum, and Keeley, and all the AFLW players who worked their asses off only to get laughed at by losers.

‘We have to do something,’ Paddy said. ‘We’ve got to get around them.’

‘Yeah,’ Jake agreed. He looked around. Yelks was making himself breakfast in the kitchen, his headphones on and his hair up in a messy bun. It was unusual to see him in the club so early; he usually had breakfast at home with his wife. Jake pushed to his feet and Stavs followed suit. ‘Let’s go.’

Yelks wasn’t a guy who got angry very often. He also didn’t get loud when he got angry. But as he watched the video, Jake recognised the way his jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed.

Yelks handed the phone back to Paddy. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘We’ve got work to do. And not long to do it. Let’s get moving.’

Theo leaned forward on the fence and watched as the AFLW team warmed up. Jake was next to him, wearing a rainbow headband, sunglasses with pink, heart-shaped frames, a Falcons training hoodie and tiny gym shorts. Somehow, it was a good look on him. Theo could admit he might have lost objectivity.

‘Hey, boys.’ Kat joined them at the fence, Paddy moving over to give her some space. She was holding hands with a tall woman who had a toddler in a Falcons onesie balanced on one hip.

‘Hey Kat, hey Cindy,’ Jake said. He extended his arms. ‘Hey, kiddo.’

Cindy handed Jake the toddler. The toddler immediately made a grab for the necklace of shells he was wearing.

It wouldn’t be a great loss if the kid destroyed it.

‘Riley, this is Stavs,’ Jake said, gently nudging Riley’s hands away from the shells. ‘You gonna shake hands?’

Theo wasn’t sure whether that was directed at Riley or him, so he extended a hand. Riley grabbed one of his fingers, beaming up at him with Kat’s blue eyes.

‘Hi, Riley.’

Theo never knew what to do with children.

He was the youngest in his immediate family, and while he’d grown up with plenty of cousins, they were all older as well.

Babies and toddlers were a mystery. His niblings were very cute, but he saw them infrequently and in short bursts.

He’d always figured one day he’d probably become a parent, but how to interact with children was a problem for future Theo – and future Theo’s prospective co-parent, who’d hopefully know what the fuck they were doing.

‘He likes you,’ Cindy said. ‘I’m Cindy, by the way. I’d shake your hand, but —’

‘It’s Riley’s now,’ Theo confirmed. Riley had some strength in those chubby little fingers. ‘Theo. Good to meet you.’