Page 9

Leah

Leah stood close to Nova. She looked back at her mom and Skye, who wore matching shocked expressions, although Martha’s was filled with more concern than shock.

Leah silently motioned for them to step out.

She could tell her mom didn’t want to leave, but Leah lifted her brows and mouthed, “Let me calm her down.”

Martha reluctantly followed Skye out of the room.

Nova was still humming, and her eyes were still closed, but her hands were no longer over her ears.

She had them clenched together in her lap, and she’d squeezed her eyes together.

Leah moved the chair close to Nova’s bed, then reached over and picked up Nova’s hand.

At first, Nova flinched at Leah’s touch, but then she cracked her eyes open, and quickly shut them again.

“I’m not listening to you. I don’t want to hear you,” Nova repeated as if it was a song and those were the only words she knew.

“Okay,” Leah whispered. She gently massaged Nova’s hand while softly repeating, “You’re okay.

You’re okay.” Leah knew Nova wouldn’t hear her words at first, but Leah kept massaging her hands, and eventually, Nova’s song grew softer and softer until the only sound in the room was Leah’s soft voice, reminding Nova that she was okay.

The door opened, and Dr. Lee, the doctor Leah met when they first arrived, entered. He’d filled all of them in on Nova’s condition before they were allowed to go in and see her. Physically, Nova was going to be okay, but mentally, as expected, she had a long road ahead of her.

Leah nodded at the question Dr. Lee never asked.

He continued monitoring for a few more minutes before he eased out of the room, closing the door behind him.

What took him so long? What would’ve happened if they hadn’t been there?

Then again, if they hadn’t been there, Nova wouldn’t have been fighting against hearing that a huge part of all their hearts was gone.

Nova sat silently as streams of sorrow flowed from her eyes. There was no need to speak the words out loud.

“When?” Nova sniffed.

Leah kept rubbing Nova’s hand. “Two years ago. Cancer.”

Nova gave a slow nod, then stared across the room.

While Nova processed what she’d heard, Leah watched her and thought of how growing up, people used to get them mixed up all the time.

They used to look so much alike. At one point, all they heard was, “That’s those pretty Lefleur girls.

” Leah and Nova were convinced no one in Bayou knew their real names.

“Those pretty Lefleur girls” had become their identity back then, and they loved it.

Now, Leah struggled to find any similarities between her and her sister.

Nova’s thick gray hair and the dark circles underneath her eyes made her look way older than the two years that stood between her and Leah.

Her once rich mahogany skin was pale and ashy.

Leah had a hard time making the woman in front of her be the tall, muscular athlete her sister had once been.

Nova was a shell of herself physically, mentally, and emotionally, and more than anything, Leah wanted her sister back.

She wanted the sister with the loud mouth who had to be the life of every room, even when the room didn’t call for it or desire it.

“Girls should be seen and not heard” was the speech that Martha had given to Nova on more than one occasion.

When Nova went missing, Leah remembered hearing her mom in her bedroom, on her knees, crying out to God, asking if she could just hear her baby’s voice again.

She promised she wouldn’t try to shut her up.

Leah had prayed the same prayer. Nova used to work her nerves because she always moved like the Energizer Bunny, which was the exact opposite of Leah.

After Nova was kidnapped, Leah didn’t think she’d ever move again.

“Leah?” Nova’s hoarse voice brought Leah’s attention to her. “Can you sit next to me?” Nova asked quietly.

Dr. Lee had explained that Nova became anxious when someone got too close.

Even though they’d hugged and cried a few minutes ago, Leah still wanted to make sure she was following Nova’s lead.

If she had it her way, Leah would’ve hopped on that bed as soon as Nova did, and she would’ve held her sister as tight as she could until the pain she was feeling at that moment subsided.

But she’d studied trauma enough to know that the side effects came in waves.

Thankfully, this wave was pushing Nova closer to Leah.

“Of course.” Leah pushed herself onto the bed. She and Nova sat, with their feet dangling over the side, just as they used to do when they were kids. And just like back then, Nova’s legs hung way lower than Leah’s.

“I’ve missed this,” Leah said.

She and Nova hugged, and as soon as their bodies touched, a warmth Leah hadn’t expected coursed through her. Tension she hadn’t realized she was holding eased from her muscles. Leah went limp. Still in Nova’s arms, her whole body shook as she released years of pain.

After she was sure there was nothing left to get out, Leah sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from,” she joked.

Nova smiled. “You still don’t like to cry?”

Leah cleared her throat. “It’s not that I don’t like to cry.”

She hated it. For years Leah tried to remember where this feeling came from.

Tears were natural. And shouldn’t a therapist, of all people, be okay with people expressing their emotions in a natural way, like crying?

Maybe it was the feeling of helplessness it gave her whenever someone cried or even when she cried.

“You used to hate crying. You said tears gave you ...” Nova lifted her head toward the ceiling. “What was the word? It was a funny word you used to say.”

“Heebie-jeebies,” Leah chuckled.

“Yeah. That’s the word.” Nova lowered her gaze and twisted her hands around each other.

“You would’ve had a lot of heebie-jeebies if you’d been in that room with me.

” She glanced at Leah and quickly affixed her gaze to her hands.

“Crying was all I could do. Not that it helped. My tears didn’t matter. ”

A cold shiver traveled down Leah’s spine. Her heart ached with rage and sorrow as she thought of Nova, who was so vulnerable and alone. Hearing how her tears were ignored reignited the protective fire inside Leah that had always burned for Nova.

Leah touched Nova’s leg. “They matter to me. And crying doesn’t give me the heebie-jeebies anymore, so if you need to cry, then cry. If you need to scream, then scream. Whatever you need to do, please do it, and I’ll be right here with you. Hell, I’ll even cry and scream right along with you.”

Nova picked up Leah’s hand and squeezed it. “I don’t feel the need. Being here with you is the only time I don’t want to run away and hide. You’ve always made me feel like everything would be okay.”

Leah’s throat tightened, but she refused to cry again. She waited until she was sure her words would come out without cracking before she spoke. “And you’ve always made me feel the same way. You were ... are ... my best friend. I hope you know that that hasn’t changed.”

Nova’s eyes watered. “And you’re mine.” She adjusted herself on the bed. “Okay, I want to know all about you. Tell me everything. I know you’re married.” Nova glanced at the ring on Leah’s finger. “Tell me about your husband. What about kids? I have so many questions.”

Questions that caused the nonstop battle inside Leah to intensify.

She and Nova used to tell each other everything.

Secrets didn’t exist between them—until now.

But Nova had been through so much already, so if Leah had to choose between honesty and protection, she’d choose protection, which meant making sure Nova didn’t find out about her marriage.

“We do have a lot to catch up on, and trust me, we’ll have plenty of time.

Believe it or not, my life’s not all that interesting.

” Leah hoped the guilt she held on the inside didn’t show on the outside.

“Besides, it won’t be long before Mom comes barging in.

You know she’s anxious to get back to you. ”

“I know, but I just want to be with you now. Please.” Nova moved closer and held Leah’s hand tighter, but Leah couldn’t deny her sister’s request. As painful as it was, Leah had to share her life, at least part of it, with Nova.

“Okay.” Leah squeezed Nova’s hand, hoping to give herself the reassurance she tried to give her sister.

“I’ve been married for three years.” Leah told Nova the story that she, Quinton, and Martha had discussed on the way there.

She was married. She and her husband were going through some things and were separated.

That was the only way Leah could explain why Nova wouldn’t meet him.

If Leah had her way, Nova would never find out that Quinton was her husband.

More than anything, Leah wanted things between her and Nova to be how they used to be.

A connection so deep that they could practically read each other’s thoughts and feel each other’s emotions.

She feared that once Nova learned about her marriage to Quinton, what they once had would never be again.

“Is it the guy you were dating in college?” Nova asked.

“Ricardo?” Leah pondered the right answer to that question.

Then she decided that there was no right answer because any answer she gave would be a lie other than telling Nova that his name was Quinton.

Yes, her Quinton. And there was no way she was about to say that, so she continued with the lie.

“No, Ricardo and I broke up. He’s someone I started dating after college. ”

“So, what’s his name?” Nova asked.

“Chris,” Leah said, the first name that came to mind.

That name tasted like betrayal when Leah thought of Quinton and their beautiful life, which she had to treat like a dirty little secret. Leah didn’t know how long she could endure the emotional tug-of-war of protecting her sister and disowning the love of her life.

“Why aren’t you and Chris together? Did he hurt you?” Nova asked.

“No, no, nothing like that.” Leah hoped to offer her conscience a tiny sliver of relief by telling Nova at least part of the truth.

“He’s a great guy. We found each other during a time when we both needed love more than anything else.

He gave me a reason to smile again. To breathe again when, before him, those were the last things I wanted to do.

My life ended when I lost you and began again when I fell in love with . .. with Chris.”

“Wow,” Nova said breathlessly. “That’s so beautiful.

” She placed her hand over her chest. “For the life of me, I can’t understand how that kind of love couldn’t fix whatever happened between the two of you.

” Nova stared across the room as if her thoughts were a million miles away.

“That’s the kind of love Quinton and I had.

Things weren’t great between us back then, but I always knew that our love would outlast our problems.” Then, as if snapped out of a trance, Nova looked at Leah.

“It sounds like that’s what you and Chris have too. ”

The knot in Leah’s stomach traveled to her heart and then her lungs. It was so tight that Leah felt she was about to black out. Her saving grace came when Nova jumped to another more pleasant topic.

“Okay, now tell me about Skye. What does she like? What does she dislike? What is she like?”

“Skye is amazing. She’s a perfect combination of you and Quinton in every way.”

Those words were knives to Leah’s heart.

They were true, but it hurt that no one would ever say that about a child of hers.

People used to compliment Leah on how sweet, smart, and respectful Skye was, but now that Nova was back, it was possible that those words of praise would be directed at her instead of Leah.

Caring for Skye was the closest Leah would ever come to being a mom.

She started to feel the same way she did when she’d woken up after a miscarriage and learned that the doctor had to do an emergency hysterectomy to save her life.

In an instant, the future Leah had imagined was taken from her.

Just as it would be now if Skye decided she didn’t need Leah anymore.

She had Nova, her real mom. Why would she need a substitute?

“She’s so beautiful,” Nova practically sang.

“I wish I could’ve been there for her special times.

I missed so much, and no matter how bad it hurts, there’s nothing I can do to get it back.

” Tears streamed down Nova’s cheeks. “All I wanted was to be a good mom and to have the kind of relationship with her that we had with Mama.”

Leah pushed past her feelings and focused on Nova. “It’s not too late. Skye’s not a baby anymore, but she still has a lot of milestones left to reach. You’ll be there for all of them, just like Mama was for us when we were Skye’s age.”

A knock at the door interrupted their talk, and Leah was sure it was their mom, but she was wrong.

“Quinton.” Nova said his name as if it was the sweetest word she’d ever spoken.

Nova and Leah both stood. Leah to leave and Nova to embrace Quinton, just as she had with everyone else.

Quinton didn’t speak. He walked to Nova, and they hugged and cried as Leah slipped past them unnoticed, lugging her heavy heart with her.

The sound of their muffled sobs followed her to the door.

In their embrace, Leah saw a bond fractured by time and an unfortunate circumstance.

With a final glance toward the room, Leah walked down the hallway with the thoughts of the journey ahead of them swirling around in her head.