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Nova

As we walked into the gym, a wave of nostalgia washed over me, so intense it felt real.

The squeak of sneakers on the polished floor, the distinct smell of varnished wood mixed with the faint scent of popcorn from the concession stand—it all brought a flood of memories from my days of playing in that very gym.

Back then, nothing made me feel better than looking into the stands and seeing Mama, Daddy, Leah, Quinton, and Lance cheering so loud I could’ve sworn I heard them over everyone else.

I was determined to be a part of Skye’s cheering crew during this holiday tournament.

School was out for Christmas break, and each year, as they’d done for many years, the school held a basketball fundraiser for needy families.

When Skye told me she was playing, I’d made up my mind that there was no way I’d miss it.

Last time, Mama and I were alone, and my anxiety was too high for me to pass the front doors.

This time, I walked through the front door and the gym doors with Mama on one side, Lance on the other, and Leah, Quinton, and Renee following behind.

I was surrounded by love and protection, and anxiety had no room to break through.

A few people waved as we passed, but for the most part, no one made a big deal about me being there.

I couldn’t be sure, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if Mama went to every house in Bayou and threatened anyone who looked too long.

It sounded like something Mama would do, but I’m sure she didn’t.

After two months of seeing me around town, I believe everyone was used to me now.

I wasn’t the kidnapped lady who’d just come home.

I was just Nova now, and I loved being just Nova or Skye’s mom, which Skye’s best friend Ava called me whenever they were on the phone, or when she visited with Skye during her weeks with Mama and me. Both worked for me.

After the game started, I completely forgot about everyone else. The whole gymnasium could’ve been gawking at me for all I knew, but it didn’t matter because my entire attention was on that court. “Watch the baseline!” I called out, slipping into coaching mode without thinking.

“Save it for Monday, Coach,” Lance teased.

When he asked me to help at the community center, I never imagined it would lead to me assisting Skye with the Little League team.

Most of my time was spent at the center helping Lance plan for a two-week summer enrichment program.

Since it was only December, I thought it was too early to start planning, but I quickly learned better.

Securing food, teachers, supplies, and buses for field trips was a lot of work, and I enjoyed every second.

I’d enjoy every second of anything as long as it was with Lance.

He made the most mundane activities bearable.

I had to be careful saying things like that around Leah, though.

She was convinced that Lance and I were in love but that both of us were too stubborn to admit it.

Leah had no idea what she was talking about.

“I’m going to grab some popcorn.” Lance touched the small of my back as he spoke, and as always, my body reacted. He had to stop doing that. My body had to stop doing that. One of them had to stop doing that.

After a very close and nerve-racking game, we all walked across the court to congratulate Skye on an amazing win. She pulled it off by scoring the winning point in the last few seconds.

Skye was talking with her teammates but broke away from them and ran in our direction when she saw me. She hugged me for so long, and yet not quite long enough. She lifted her head, and I saw the moisture in her eyes.

“Oh, sweetie,” I said, attempting to wipe her eye.

Skye shooed my hand away. “No, don’t. I can’t cry in front of these people. I’m supposed to be tough,” she said, attempting a scowl that didn’t quite work with the red glossy eyes.

We all laughed.

“I’m glad you came,” Skye said as we made our way out of the gym.

“Me too.”

Before we drove away, I looked back at the gym that used to be my comforter, which became my challenge and was now my triumph.

It was a full-circle moment that would’ve been absolutely perfect if we weren’t missing one important person.

I knew that no matter how much time passed, the void Daddy left would always be felt.

I forced myself away from the dread that always came when I missed Daddy.

That was a challenge since I missed him every second of every day.

Tonight, I was going to focus on the people who were still here and remind myself that the rest of my life was to be about creating new memories.

Which was what my family and I were about to do.

The annual bonfire was about to start, and I couldn’t wait to sit around the fire, roasting marshmallows and drinking Mama’s homemade hot chocolate.

Mama and I went home to get more supplies and, of course, the thermoses for the hot cocoa.

I didn’t know how other places did their bonfires, but in Bayou, it was a big deal.

It was more like a festival than a bonfire because there was live music, games, and more food stations than I cared to count.

I’d forgotten how much I loved them until Mama reminded me about it a few weeks ago.

Since then, it was all I could think about.

I called Lance when Mama and I made it to the field, and he and Quinton came and helped us carry the chairs and thermoses back to our spot.

“This is where we used to set up our chairs every year,” I said, unfolding a chair and looking over at the huge fire that sat in the center of the field.

“Well, your father was a creature of habit. Once he found something he liked, he refused to change. I said this was the perfect spot, and we’ve been sitting here every year since.” Mama smiled, but it didn’t hide the sadness in her eyes that always came when she remembered Daddy.

“Oh my gawd.” Leah rolled her eyes. “Nova, one day Mom took Daddy to Shoney’s for breakfast. Do you know that every Sunday for at least six months, we had to go to Shoney’s? I was so sick of that place.” Leah laughed.

I used to feel so sad hearing stories about my dad of times I’d missed, but now it didn’t hurt as much as it did before. There was still a tinge of jealousy, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to hear more.

“Has anyone seen Skye?” I asked, looking around the field at all the people gathered in groups, laughing and talking.

“She’s around here somewhere with Ava,” Leah said.

Lance went to help unload more food while Mama and Quinton were engaged in some conversation. Leah and I chatted about different people who passed by. Some I remembered, but most I didn’t. Even before my life was disrupted, I was horrible with names and faces.

“Hey, is that Lance?” Leah stared.

I turned my head, and sure enough, that was Lance. His back was to us, but it was definitely him, and that was definitely a woman with her arm around his waist.

“Who’s that woman?” Leah asked.

“I have no idea.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I wasn’t sure I was doing a good job.

A few seconds later, Lance came over and sat in the chair beside me. “Having fun?” he asked.

“Yep.” I bounced my leg because I always did when I was irritated. The only problem was I had no right to feel that way.

“So, Lance.” Leah leaned over me, practically resting her whole body on my lap. “Who was that woman you were just talking to?”

Lance narrowed his brows. “Who, Sierra?” He pointed to the spot they were standing in before.

“Sierra? And who is this Sierra?” She raised one brow.

“Leah,” I hissed her name.

Lance laughed. “Sierra”—he turned his attention away from Leah and looked right at me—“is my cousin from Detroit.”

“Why are you looking at Nova? I’m the one who asked the question,” Leah said.

“Because she’s the only one I need to know that information,” Lance stated.

I lowered my head and tried to hide the smile of pleasure I couldn’t wipe away.

“Well. I guess you told me,” Leah said playfully before straightening her body and turning toward Mama and Quinton.

She wasn’t the least bit interested in anything they were talking about, but I knew that was her way of giving us some privacy.

“You wanna take a walk?” Lance asked, reaching for my hand.

“We’ll be back,” I told Leah.

She gave me a thumbs-up, and I tried not to giggle like a silly schoolgirl.

Lance and I walked around for a while, then stopped and stared at the fire. Before then, our conversation had been light, but I had a feeling that that was about to change. Whenever he started a sentence with my name, it meant he’d turned serious.

“Nova, why did Leah really ask me about Sierra?” Lance asked.

I hunched my shoulders. “Because she’s nosy.”

“Oh. Well, in case she was asking on someone else’s behalf, I thought it would be good for us to talk about ... well ... us.”

“Us?” I turned to him.

He nodded. “I think we both know that things aren’t the same between us, right? I mean, and maybe it’s just me, but I don’t have the same feelings for you that I used to have when we were in high school. And because of that, I think I need to be completely honest with you.”

My heart was about to run away from my body.

“Okay?” I heard the shakiness in my voice and cleared my throat.

“After everything happened, I made a vow that I’d never put myself in that position again.

The only way to do that was by making sure I never allowed anyone else to get that close to me again.

I mean, yes, I’ve been with other women since then, but it was always clear that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.

I made sure that point was made by only dealing with them once, maybe twice, and that was it.

I’d never see them again.” He held up his hands.

“I’m not saying it was right, but I felt like it was what I had to do to protect me. ”

“Okay,” I said, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

“Anyway,” he continued, “being in a serious relationship again was never something I saw for myself.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said again because it was the only thing I could squeeze past the lump in my throat.

“Like I said, I just wanted to be completely honest with you.”

“I understand. And we’re friends. That’ll never change. I just ...”

“Wait.” He held up his finger. “Let me finish.”

I thought he had finished, but I stood quietly and allowed him to continue.

“I wanted to be honest with you about where my mind was at the time. My past with women wasn’t the best. I’m sure I hurt a lot of them by going silent, and I have deep regrets about that.

It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone. I just needed to protect me.

” He exhaled. “I guess I’m telling you all this because I don’t want you to hear it from anyone else and because I used to think that I was trying to guard my heart, but now I think what I was doing was preserving it.

” He took my hand in his. “For the person I’d trust with it a thousand times. ”

My eyes burned and I blinked, refusing to break down. “Me?” I asked, as if I didn’t know the answer.

“I know you aren’t ready for a relationship, and I understand that.” He chuckled. “Probably more than anyone, but I would like for both of us to try and open ourselves to trusting and loving again. And I’d really like if we did that with each other.”

I closed the space between us. “I’d really like that too.” My words broke into pieces, but they were clear enough to put a smile on his face.

Lance and I held each other and stared at the fire.

That night, I knew, without a doubt, that my best friend had just turned into one of my greatest loves.

I used to think that God didn’t care for me, but I’d since learned that he cared for me so much that he gave me not one but two of his best creations.

Quinton was the love of my past, and Lance was the love of my always. Once as a friend and now as much more.