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Leah

It had been years since Leah woke up early enough to go jogging with Quinton. When she made it home last night, she wasn’t in the mood to talk about her visit with Nova. She still couldn’t believe that her sister had the nerve to say that Leah always wanted to be her.

When? Leah never wanted to be Nova—not ever. She hated sports, which Nova loved, and being outside, which Nova loved. Then there was Quinton, and Nova had made it very clear how Leah felt about him back then, so she certainly wasn’t jealous of their relationship. So, why would she say that?

To hurt Leah. She knew that, of course, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She had always been Nova’s biggest cheerleader, and she played that role proudly. To think that Nova would accuse her of being jealous was beyond hurtful.

When Leah made it home, she had to tuck her feelings inside and deal with them later.

They’d eaten a late dinner, then she and Skye finished Skye’s project that was due today.

Leah had planned to tell Quinton about the magazine article, but by the time she made it to bed, Quinton was asleep, and she was too tired to talk.

“What made you want to walk this morning?” Quinton asked now. “Not that I’m complaining. I’m happy to have the company. I’m not used to it anymore.” He reached down and touched his toes.

Leah followed his movements. “I figured it’d help clear my mind. I haven’t exactly been myself at work, which isn’t good when you’re a therapist, you know?”

“No, I guess it’s not.” He leaned to one side and touched his foot.

After they finished stretching, both started their smartwatches to record their exercise. “Can we walk for a little while first? I want to talk to you about something,” Leah asked, taking long strides to keep up with Quinton’s normal ones.

She remembered then why she’d stopped walking or jogging with him. She had to give twice as much to keep up with his normal pace. It was more exhausting than relaxing.

“Yeah ... sure,” Quinton said. “What do you want to talk about?”

Leah told Quinton about the magazine article and how it quoted a statement that supposedly came from a family friend.

Quinton stopped walking. “What?” He pushed the word out with more force than Leah expected.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, taken aback by his reaction. “Do you know something?”

“Yes. It’s exactly what I’d been saying all along. Who do you think the family friend could be?” he questioned.

Leah didn’t know why it didn’t cross her mind that Quinton would immediately think the source was Lance. Maybe because she knew that was highly unlikely.

“It wasn’t Lance,” Leah said, looking down at her watch, which asked if she wanted to pause her workout.

She started walking again.

Quinton slowed down to her pace. “How do you know?” he asked.

“Because ...” Leah had become very creative with her answers about Lance. “Carmen told me how much he hates the media after they dragged his name through the mud during that whole ordeal. He’d never talk with them about anything.” Leah pumped her arms because Quinton was starting to move faster.

“Money can make anyone talk, Leah. No matter how much you supposedly dislike them.”

“But he has money,” Leah added.

Quinton looked over at her. “Did Carmen tell you that too?”

“No, she didn’t have to. He played in the NFL.”

“Leah, there are a lot of broke men who played professional ball.”

And at that, Leah dropped the conversation.

She was already dealing with the aftermath of one confession.

She wasn’t ready to add another one. The more she thought about telling Quinton that she’d been Lance’s therapist, the more she was against the idea.

Leah understood that many times, mates felt the need to confess to what they, or their partner, might view as a betrayal in order to clear their conscience.

Oftentimes, all it did was offer unnecessary hurt to the other spouse.

There were times when what they didn’t know really wouldn’t hurt them.

And her confession about Lance was one of those times.

“Even if it’s not him, which I’m willing to bet it is, you still need to tell your mom, if you didn’t already. She needs to know so she can watch what she says.”

“I told Mom last night, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t suspect Lance. She trusts him just like she trusts us. Anyway,” Leah said, moving the conversation away from Lance, “my visit with Nova wasn’t very successful.”

“I figured as much. I kept waiting for you to say something about it last night, but when you didn’t bring it up, I figured you didn’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“No, I wanted to talk about it, but not in front of Skye. All this messy grownup stuff should stay between us as much as it can. She’s already been exposed to enough.”

When it came to Skye, Leah had the mama-bear role down to a science.

She’d failed in her position Saturday night, though.

Had she been thinking about Skye, she never would’ve told Nova about their marriage.

She would’ve found a way to change the subject, as she’d done before, and moved on.

After that, though, Leah vowed to herself that she’d always think about the repercussions her words would have on everyone, not just one person.

The only thing she wanted Skye to think about was teenage drama.

Who was dating whose boyfriend this week?

Who’d posted what on social media? Silly stuff like that.

“I agree. I don’t want Skye in the middle of all this either. So, what happened when you talked with Nova?” Quinton asked, slowing down his pace again.

Leah started from the beginning and shared everything. She ended with the gut punch that Nova had delivered. “She said that you’d never love me the way you loved her, and I’d never love you the way she did.”

“Whoa,” Quinton said.

That’s it? Whoa? Leah didn’t overreact because people processed information differently. Once it hit him, then he’d react with the outrage that Leah expected.

It never came.

“What happened after that?” Quinton asked.

“I was about to leave because I couldn’t believe she’d said that to me. That she would intentionally hurt me like that,” Leah said, once again waiting on a flabbergasted Quinton to comment. “But I couldn’t leave without making things clear for her.”

Quinton’s pace slowed even more.

“I told her that she was right. We wouldn’t love each other like the two of you did because I’m not her. You love me for me.”

“You told her that?” he asked.

Leah finally heard the disbelief she had been waiting to hear. Only it was on the wrong side of the conversation. The words lodged in her throat seemed to scorch her whole body.

“Yes, I told her that. Did I lie?” Leah asked.

“No, but I don’t know if you should’ve said it to her.”

“Are you kidding me?” Leah’s voice rose above the we-are-still-in-our-neighborhood-so-let’s-not-cause-a-scene level.

Quinton looked around to make sure none of their neighbors were outside, listening to the conversation that Leah knew he’d rather die than have in front of them.

When they chose that neighborhood, they were the only Black couple.

The unspoken rule in the Boudreaux family was to always make sure the neighbors knew they belonged.

This meant don’t be loud, always smile, only wear outside clothes when leaving the house, even if you’re only going to the mailbox—no bonnets, and no sleeping clothes.

Leah and Quinton tabled the conversation until they made it back to their house.

Leah tried to taper down the frustration and resentment that started simmering inside her.

The more she thought about Quinton’s lack of concern for her feelings, the bigger her internal storm grew.

Leah had realized she’d been clenching her teeth until her temples started to throb.

Instead of going inside, he unlocked his truck and opened the door for Leah to get in. Leah happily obliged. She had a feeling there were words she needed to say that she didn’t want Skye to hear, and she’d held it in too long already while she finished her walk.

“I’m not sure what happened back there, but you know this isn’t us,” Quinton said as soon as he closed his door. “We don’t argue in the streets. We’re not those people.”

Leah exhaled slowly, reminding herself that anger wouldn’t solve anything. When she felt calmer, she said, “We weren’t arguing. We were discussing,” Leah corrected.

“Fine. Then, we don’t discuss that loud outside of our house,” he corrected.

Leah glanced at her watch. “We both have to get ready for work soon, so are we going to discuss the real issue?” Her voice was steady, but inside, her heart raced.

Leah felt the weight of the biggest issue they had to face.

Whether Quinton was still a part of her team or if he’d moved his membership over to Nova’s.

“What’s the real issue?” he asked.

“For me, it’s the way you responded when I told you what Nova said to me versus the response to what I said to her. Where was the outrage for me?” She felt herself getting worked up again, so she closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

Quinton leaned his head against the headrest and stared at the roof before lowering his gaze back to Leah.

“First, I wasn’t outraged. And you know why my response was different.

We both said we had to be careful how we handled Nova.

She’s dealing with a lot of trauma. That’s why I responded that way. ”

“Yes, we did say that, and maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all. Hell, maybe I shouldn’t have even gone over there last night, but all of that is beside the point.”

“Then what is the point, Leah, because I’m missing it.”

“The point is when I express how someone said something with the clear intent to hurt me, I expect my husband to say something other than whoa,” Leah said, her nails digging into the palm of her hands.