Page 29

Nova

Tonight was definitely a night filled with laughs.

After hearing Leah say that she and Quinton were married, I understood how Skye felt when I told her that her dad used to be a rapper.

Just like Skye, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Then, when I thought about the two of them together, I laughed even harder.

“I found the tapes,” Skye said, running into the kitchen holding a cassette tape in her hand. Her smile dropped. “Did I interrupt something?” She stared at Leah.

“No. Teeah just said something that made me laugh.”

Skye narrowed her eyes. “Why isn’t Teeah laughing?”

I looked at Leah, who was apparently trying hard to make me believe she was telling the truth.

“Skye, could you give us a minute, please?” Leah asked.

“Okay, I’ll go see if Gran has a tape player somewhere around here.”

“Leah, seriously, you’ll never convince me that you’re married to Quinton, so please stop. Besides, even if you didn’t hate him, you’d never do that to me.” I went to the refrigerator and pulled out the pitcher of sweet tea. “You want some?” I asked.

“No, but Nova, we really need to talk.”

“Talk. I’m listening.” I opened the dishwasher and grabbed a glass.

“I’ll wait.” She pulled out a stool and sat.

After I fixed my tea, Leah motioned for me to sit across from her.

I was hesitant because I didn’t want to continue that conversation.

There was no way Leah was married to Quinton.

My mind refused to believe that could ever be true.

Yet, a part of me knew that it was, and that was the part I worked hard to ignore.

“This isn’t easy for me, and I need you to really hear me, okay?” Leah spoke slowly, like I had bad understanding.

“Okay.”

“Quinton and I are married.” She held up her hand, showing the wedding ring I’d seen at the hospital.

“You already told me your husband’s name is Chris. Why are you lying like this?” I went from amused to not so amused anymore.

“It isn’t,” she said softly. “I told you that because it wasn’t the right time to tell you the truth.”

The more she spoke, the more I couldn’t pretend. If her words didn’t convince me, then the tears that fell from her eyes did. My body was numb. I couldn’t think. I stared at her and tried to form words, but words were too hard to pronounce. Sweat dripped down my back, and my head pounded.

“Nova, please say something.”

“This isn’t a joke?”

Every cell in my body begged and pleaded for her to say it was.

I needed to hear the words. I needed her to say that she was kidding.

But she didn’t say anything. She shook her head and cried harder.

I’d never seen Leah so upset, and if this were any other situation, I’d run around the island, pull her in my arms, and hold her until she felt better, but this wasn’t another situation.

She was crying tears that I should’ve been crying.

Feeling hurt that I was supposed to be feeling.

“Why?” was the only word I could get out before my throat tightened.

Her bottom lip was shaking. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. “We didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“You accidentally fell in love with my husband?” I asked, speaking just as slowly as she did earlier. I needed to see if those words sounded just as ridiculous to her ears as they did to mine.

“I know it sounds strange.”

“No, it sounds stupid!” I shouted. “How do you not mean to fall in love with someone?”

“If you’ll let me explain.” More tears fell.

“I’m listening.” I crossed my arms and bounced my leg against the floor so fast and hard that I knew there would be a dent when I moved.

“Please.” She looked up. “I don’t want Skye to hear any of this.”

The room felt unbearably small as the revelation taunted me. The woman I’d been imagining, the unknown figure who had been filling my place, caring for my daughter—it was Leah. It was always Leah. My sister. The betrayal sliced through the confusion and left me breathless.

Every image of Leah and Skye together flashed through my mind—them laughing, talking, and sharing jokes that only they understood.

Leah sharing precious moments with my daughter that should’ve been mine.

Anger, disbelief, and an overwhelming sense of loss mingled inside me and rose to my throat, threatening to suffocate me.

How could she? How could he? How could they keep this from me?

Then, another memory came to me and sent a dagger straight through my heart: “That day in the hospital. I said you all looked like a family, and no one said anything.” A chuckle escaped me.

“I thought your silence and your facial expressions were out of disgust at the thought of being married to each other, but, boy, was I wrong. You were scared. That’s the familiar look I saw in both of your eyes.

You were afraid that I would figure it out. ”

“Nova . . .”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” The question tore from my throat, raw and riddled with hurt.

“It wasn’t the right time.” Leah’s voice cracked.

“And this was the right time. The one night I wanted to have where we didn’t do anything but have fun. All I wanted was one night of fun, but I guess that was too much because you had to mess that up too.”

Mama and Skye came rushing into the kitchen. Both their eyes were wide and darted between Leah and me.

“What’s going on?” Mama asked, tightening the belt on her robe. “We can hear y’all all the way upstairs.”

Leah’s face looked pale, and her eyes rimmed with redness from tears I could tell she was fighting to hold back. She cleared her throat before saying, “I told her.”

“Told her what?” Mama asked, stepping closer to us. The shakiness in her voice told me that she knew exactly what Leah was talking about.

I stared at Mama as another more unsettling question hit me. Had my entire family, the people I trusted most, seen me as so fragile, so broken, that they felt they couldn’t tell me the truth?

“Everything,” Leah answered softly, sounding like she did when she was a child and had to answer for something she knew she wasn’t supposed to be doing.

“Leah.” Mama’s body slumped in disappointment, but I didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like it was news to her.

“So, it is true?” I asked for confirmation even though I already knew.

“I’m sorry, Nova. I didn’t plan on telling you tonight, but when you were talking about your feelings for Quinton, I couldn’t listen and not say anything.” Leah’s explanation was the confirmation I’d been waiting for.

Her words were heavy and piercing as they entered me, puncturing every part of my body.

I looked around and inhaled the irony of that whole situation.

I was in the kitchen, which still held the sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar from Mama’s sweet-potato pies, yet everything around me felt sour and out of place.

Leah’s shaky hand covered her mouth. Her eyes locked on me, and then she lowered her hands. Her mouth moved, but I didn’t hear what she said. The announcement she made ricocheted off the walls and slammed into my ears over and over.

A surge of anger rushed through me as the heat inside me burned my nose. My head snapped toward Leah. “My entire family has been lying to me since the moment we were reunited.”

“Nova, calm down, baby. You’re getting yourself all worked up.” Mama touched my arm, and I jerked away.

“Don’t touch me!” I hollered so loudly that my ears rang.

Mama’s eyes filled with tears. “I know you’re upset ...” Her voice dropped, but not so low that I didn’t hear the tremble in her words. “We can talk about this.”

Leah moved from her spot at the table to stand next to Mama. “It’s not Mama’s fault. Don’t be upset with her.”

As my gaze shifted and fell on Skye, stillness took me over for a moment amid my storm of emotions.

Seeing her there, leaning against the doorway, one hand over her chest and the other hand lifted to her mouth, biting her nails, brought a pang of sympathy.

Skye was caught in the middle of this whole mess.

As angry as I was with everyone else, my heart ached for Skye.

She was the only innocent person here. She didn’t ask for this.

She was forced into it, which sent me to another level of anger for Leah and Quinton.

“I’m sorry. I’m not upset with you, okay?”

Skye didn’t respond. She just glanced at me, then back at Mama and Leah. Before, Skye seemed so mature to me, but as I watched her standing there, I saw the eyes of a little girl who was afraid. Is she afraid of me? The thought sank in heavy and hard.

“It’s okay, Skye,” Leah said.

“Don’t talk to my daughter,” I spat.

“Nova, don’t do this,” Leah begged. “Not in front of Skye.”

Mama walked past me and over to Skye. “Go upstairs. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Skye’s eyes were still on us as if she was in a trance and couldn’t move.

“Go on,” Mama urged.

Skye did as she was told, leaving me once again with the two people I wanted to be as far away from as I could get. How? That was what I kept asking myself. How? Leah and Quinton? That didn’t make sense. They didn’t make sense.

I couldn’t stand still any longer. My feet needed to move.

My body needed to move. I walked around the island, talking to no one in particular, but stating the truth filled me with a hurt I’d never felt before.

I hated Adam for stealing my life, but I didn’t love Adam.

I didn’t trust Adam. Adam didn’t betray me.

My hand ran across the smooth granite as I made my second trip around the island.

“So, what you’re saying is that while I was in that room, fighting to stay alive, fighting to come home to my family, you and Quinton were busy falling in love and living happily ever after.

” I stopped when a thought occurred to me.

“I guess me coming home wasn’t the news you’d hoped to hear, was it? ”

“That’s not true.” Leah came back to the island. She and Mama on one side and me on the other. Them against me. Or me against them. Either way, we were no longer on the same team.

I walked around the island and stood in front of Leah. “I never thought you’d hurt me like this.”

“I wasn’t try—”

“I hate you.” I turned to Mama. “And I don’t care what your Bible says about hate.

If it sends me to hell, so what? It can’t be any worse than this life has been.

” I walked out and left them standing there.

I had nothing left to say. Nothing left to give.

No more tears left to cry. I was empty of everything.