Page 4

Nova

My hands cramped. I hadn’t realized I’d written so much.

It was amazing how much you thought about when you felt your life was coming to an end—a painful lump formed in my throat.

I closed the notebook and walked to the window.

I looked at the sky, which was filled with stars.

There was a time when the pain of being without my family was so great I could hardly breathe.

When that happened, I had to find a way to cope.

Something that would help me feel closer to them in spirit since I couldn’t be with them in person.

One night, as I gazed at the stars, it dawned on me that there was so much I could share with my family.

The moon, the stars, and the sun were the things that we all shared.

No matter the distance between us, we were all looking at the same moon.

During the day, it was the sun that brought me comfort.

“I love you all so much,” I said to the moon. “If it’s possible, can you please shine a little brighter on them? Wherever they may be.” I cleared my throat, as the moon became a blurred shimmering light.

I moved to the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

My body was tired, but my soul was even more tired.

The song “Hush, Little Baby” popped in my head.

It made me think of peace. In my mind, I saw Mama sitting in a rocking chair, singing and soothing a baby that I knew had to be me.

Then, I saw myself where Mama was, holding my own baby.

I whispered the words to the song, but instead of sounding like a smooth melody, the words were cracked and broken.

The more I sang, the quieter my voice sounded and the lighter my body became.

An indescribable feeling of peace washed over me as my mind told me it was okay to let go.

I’d fought a good fight, and I’d been fighting for years, but it was time to rest.

Then the peaceful feeling I had was washed away by the heaviness of dread as I remembered that I only had one life.

One chance to do the things I wanted to do and love the people I wanted to love.

That chance was now gone. Knowing I’d never have to wake up another day in that room battling with despair when I thought about the finality of my existence.

I closed my eyes and gave in to whatever came next.

An undetermined amount of time passed before I was jolted awake by a woman’s screech.

“Oh my God!”

I shot up, and my whole body trembled. My eyes took a minute to adjust to the bedroom light.

I had no clue how long I’d been out, but the sun was up, so I’d slept for a while.

The woman stood in the middle of the floor, wearing a red top and black pants.

Her hands covered her mouth, and her wide eyes took up half of her round chubby face.

“Is this a dream?” I asked, not expecting an answer. It had to be because, other than Adam, no one else had been in this room. My mind struggled to catch up with my racing heart. I opened my mouth to ask who she was, but she spoke first.

“No, it isn’t a dream.” The woman’s head turned toward the door, but her eyes stayed on me. “Darryl, get in here,” she called.

I pressed myself against the headboard, my muscles tense. Her unfamiliar presence filled the room and made it feel too small, like the walls were closing in on me. “Who are you?” My voice was so low and so shaky that I barely recognized it.

“I’m Shelia,” she said. Seconds later, a tall, round man wearing blue jeans and a white shirt that stretched between each button stood beside the lady. “And this is my husband, Darryl.” She glanced over at the man.

“Who’s this?” Darryl asked.

“I don’t know.” She kept looking at me as if the answer was somewhere on my face.

“How’d she get here?” He pulled a pair of glasses from his shirt pocket and pushed them over his eyes.

The lady rested her hands on her hips and looked up at him. “How da hell I’m ’sposed to know, Darryl?”

“I’m Nova,” I said, my throat dry and sore.

The one thing I’d learned from Adam was to trust no one.

The notebook and pen were still in the bed somewhere.

I ran my hand underneath the cover for the pen, held it in my hand, and then plucked off the top.

I couldn’t take them both, but maybe I could injure one enough to scare the other one away or at least distract them while I .

.. What? What could I do? As long as that chain was around my leg, I was helpless.

“Nova,” Darryl repeated.

I gripped the pen tighter as the sound of my name coming from his mouth sent a shiver down my spine.

I hadn’t heard anyone say my name in so long.

Adam never called me Nova. I was always Angel or Baby.

I wondered if he even remembered my name.

Probably not, since who I was wasn’t important to him.

All he needed was for me to be who he decided I’d be.

“You friends with Uncle Adam?” he asked, easing a step closer.

The lady rolled her eyes. “No, she ain’t no friend of Uncle Adam’s.

I told y’all something was wrong with that man, but did anyone listen?

Sure didn’t. Talking ’bout, he just wanna be alone ’cause he grieving.

Don’t nobody grieve that long.” She wagged her finger at me.

“This is why he wouldn’t let nobody in this house. ”

Darryl didn’t look convinced, so I reached over and moved the cover off my legs.

The lady gasped as soon as she saw the chain. She stretched her hand out to the man. “Give me your phone.”

My heart raced. My eyes darted between the two of them.

Hope flickered in my chest; a tiny flame broke through the darkness that had existed inside me for so long.

Could it be real? Were they here to help me?

Then, just like that, the flame was extinguished with another thought.

I didn’t know these people. Had Adam sent them?

“Adam.” Anticipation rose through me as I waited for him to barge in.

As soon as they exchanged glances, something else invaded my body. Fear. What were they going to do to me?

“Where’s Adam?” I asked again, pushing the words through the tightness in my throat. Somehow, my mind had transformed my predator into my protector. I needed a face I recognized. I knew what to expect from Adam. I didn’t know what to expect from them.

“He died last week,” the lady answered. “The funeral was yesterday. We just came by to check on the house.”

I stared at her and waited for her to say more.

Waited for her to tell me she wasn’t serious.

That she just wanted to see my reaction.

She was toying with me like Adam did sometimes.

Like when he’d give me his keys and make me believe he was going to let me leave, only to stand behind me laughing after I’d tried every key and none of them worked.

My letdown was his entertainment, and I couldn’t fall for it again.

“Did you hear me?” Shelia asked.

I nodded before I lifted my head to her. She looked like someone I could trust, but then again, so did Adam. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” I finally asked.

Shelia looked at Darryl before looking at me. “Because we don’t play about death.” Her words reminded me of ones my grandma would’ve said.

“How long have you been here?” Darryl glanced at the chains around my ankle.

My brain was trying to remember how many times the leaves had changed colors. My last count was nine, but some time had passed since then. The agony of adding another number was too much, so I stopped counting. “Since 2003.” That was the best answer I could give.

I didn’t realize the weight my words had carried until they caused Shelia to stumble backward. I wasn’t sure if her wide eyes were from the fear of almost falling or hearing that I’d been there so long. Darryl put his hand on her back to keep her steady.

“I’m alright,” she told Darryl before moving closer to the bed again. “It’s 2018. You mean to tell me you’ve been here...” She lifted her head toward the ceiling and then returned her gaze to me. “Fifteen years?”

The words were like a jolt of lightning slamming into me, knocking all the air from my lungs. “Fifteen years?” I repeated.

“Ms.? Are you alright?” Shelia’s voice was muffled.

I tried to speak, but my whole body tightened, including my throat. A dull ache sat in my stomach and grew bigger and stronger each time her words replayed in my ears. To me, fifteen years away from my family may as well have been a lifetime.

“Where’s your phone, Darryl?” Her request was more demanding than before.

Darryl reached into his back pocket and gave her something that looked nothing like any phone I’d ever seen.

“Call Sheriff Walker,” the lady said into the black, flat, rectangular thing.

“Calling Sheriff Walker.”

I jumped when the phone talked back.

“Sheriff Walker. It’s Shelia Guidry. I need you to get to Uncle Adam’s farm right now. Bring all the men you got and the ambulance. You ain’t gon’ believe what we done found.”

Relief filled my body and poured out through my tears. Joy erupted inside me, and I couldn’t stop trembling.

Sam was the locksmith they’d called hours ago.

After he’d worked with the lock for what felt like hours, he was finally able to find the right key.

Sheriff Walker stepped in and unwrapped the thick chains from around my ankle.

The shackles were gone, but their weight remained.

I reached down and rubbed my skin where there were now dents that served as a reminder of a life I never asked for.

I didn’t feel free while I was still in that room. The air was thick and suffocating. I inhaled and exhaled hard, but no matter how hard I breathed, it wasn’t enough to fill my lungs.

“Let’s get her out of here,” Sheriff Walker said, looking at one of the officers standing next to the door.

He and another officer helped me out of the bedroom and to the stairs.