Page 27

Nova

Mama went all out for that night’s dinner. When I told her that Leah and Skye were coming to sleep over, you’d think it was Christmas the way she was cooking, baking, and singing all afternoon.

“I can’t believe I’m going to have all my girls with me tonight,” Mama said when I joined her in the kitchen.

Mama changed from her jeans and sweater into her cooking dress.

That was something that hadn’t changed over time.

Mama never wore her good clothes to cook.

Her dresses were ones that she said she didn’t mind messing up, plus, they were cheap.

Leah and I hated those big grandma-looking dresses, but Mama had loved them, and apparently, she still did.

“Can I help do anything?” I needed something to occupy my time until Leah and Skye came.

That way I wouldn’t keep thinking about the look on Quinton’s face when he drove away.

It was gnawing at me, and I needed to get Leah alone so I could tell her what happened and ask what I should do.

If anyone could guide me in the right direction, it would be Leah.

“You can go get the tea from outside and sweeten it up. You know how we like it.” Mama winked.

Mama loved sun-made tea. She’d put the tea bags in a pitcher of water and set the pitcher outside in the sun until she felt it was ready.

I walked outside, picked up the tea, and smiled when I realized that, once again, I’d walked through those doors without a second thought.

Maybe tomorrow, I’d try going out the front door.

It wasn’t much, but it made me feel like I was making progress.

Leah said once I met with Dr. Yvonne on Monday and started my sessions regularly, she felt that I’d make even more progress.

I really hoped so because as safe as I felt inside the house, I also knew that I didn’t fight to get out of that room just to stay inside for the remainder of my life.

I was ready to live so badly I could taste it.

By the time Mama and I finished in the kitchen and dressed, Leah and Skye were pulling up.

Leah must’ve picked Skye up from her house because they were riding together.

I loved that my sister and my daughter were so close, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wished it was me who had that kind of relationship with Skye.

“It smells great in here,” Leah said, holding her overnight bag on her shoulder and a plastic container in her hand. “I made ooey gooey cake. Even though I know Mom probably made enough sweets to open a bakery.” Leah laughed before kissing Mom.

“Oh hush.” Mama took the container from Leah and walked over to Skye. “Hey, Gran’s baby.”

“Hey, Gran.” Skye leaned down and kissed Mama. She then walked over to me. “How are you?” she asked.

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Same.” She stepped closer, and I wasted no time going in for a hug. Even though it wasn’t a warm hug that you’d expect to feel between a mom and her daughter, it was still a hug, nonetheless.

“Okay, girls, let’s eat.” Mama beckoned for us to come to the kitchen, where we all sat around the island. Skye sat across from me, and Leah sat beside me. I didn’t think I could feel any better even if I tried.

“What are you girls going to do tonight?” Mama asked.

Leah and Skye both looked at me for the answer. I guess I was the one who put this whole thing together, and I probably should’ve had plans, but I just wanted them here. We could’ve sat on the sofa and watched TV for all I cared, as long as they were there with me.

“Umm ... Nothing much, just sit and chillax.”

“Chill who?” Skye asked, her brows dipped together.

“Chillax. You know, chill and relax ... chillax.”

“I’ve never heard that before, but you know what, I think I’ll bring it back. I like it.” Skye laughed. “Chillax,” she repeated the word.

“What about crunk? Do kids still get crunk?” I asked Skye.

She laughed even harder. “No, and I don’t think they want to. What does that even mean?”

I looked over at Mama, then Leah. “How could y’all not teach her these words?” I joked.

Leah held up both hands. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t use them even when they were popular.”

“Me either. I could barely understand a word you young kids used to say.” Mama laughed. “Still don’t know what they’re saying half the time.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” I said. “Only for me it’s young and old. At least for you, it’s just words that you don’t understand. I don’t understand most of the changes around here. Like pods for instance. Why are there so many of them?”

“Pods?” Mama repeated. “What pods?”

“Coffee pods.” I raised a finger. “Dishwasher pods.” I raised another finger. “Detergent pods.” I raised a third finger. “I’m sure there are more that I haven’t heard of yet.”

They all wore matching expressions, like I’d just given them a lot to think about. Maybe I did. I guess when you were used to it, you didn’t think about it much, but it was all I thought about. Not pods necessarily, but all the new things that weren’t around back then.

After dinner, we were all stuffed. The only place we could go was to the sofa, where we watched a few episodes of Gilmore Girls until Skye had enough and suggested another idea.

“Listening to you talk about words you used to say back then made me want to know more. How about we have a dance party? We’ll each play songs from our generation. That way we can also work off some of this pie and ooey gooey cake we ate.”

“Hey, you’re the only one who needs to work it off. The rest of us don’t have to run up and down the court,” Leah told her.

“That’s why the rest of you should definitely get up and work it off now,” Skye said, looking for something on her phone. “I’ll go first,” she said, playing a song that I didn’t know, but I liked the beat. “Who’s this?” I asked, moving my shoulders more than anything else.

“Bruno Mars.” Skye stopped singing long enough to insert his name before she started up again.

Skye made all of us, including Mama, get up and dance. I could only do so much because my ankle was not totally healed, but that didn’t matter.

It was Leah’s turn to choose the next song.

“What’s your song, Teeah?” Skye asked, ready to DJ for Leah.

“Oh no. My song requires a video so we can get the moves right.”

Leah picked up the TV remote control and went to the YouTube station. Mama and I didn’t watch that channel—only Netflix—but YouTube seemed to have a lot of movies and other things too. Why did anyone need so many movies? I’d never understand.

When Leah chose her song, I recognized the name.

“I remember Beyoncé. She was with the group ... what’s the group?” I knew it had to do with children.

“Destiny’s Child,” Skye and Leah answered.

“I like Beyoncé.” Mama was snapping her fingers and moving her hips.

Seeing her dance reminded me of when she and Daddy would put on one of their records and dance in the middle of the floor while Leah and I begged them to stop.

As a child, seeing your parents dancing and kissing was gross, but not so much now.

Our parents were in love, and they didn’t have a problem expressing it.

I’d give anything to see them together now.

Daddy would be right here with us. It wouldn’t have bothered him at all to be with all the girls. It was what he was used to, anyway.

“Alright, get ready,” Leah instructed.

The video started, and we all did our best to follow along with the dance moves to “Upgrade U,” but we were too busy laughing at each other to get them right. There was no way I could move like Beyoncé even if I didn’t have a hurt ankle.

After Leah’s song, we decided to take a break. As much as I was enjoying our dance party, I needed to sit and catch my breath. That was the most exercise I’d done in years, and my body was feeling all of it.

“What’s the guy’s name who was in the video with Beyoncé?” I struggled to speak and breathe at the same time.

“Jay-Z,” Skye reminded me, sounding like she’d been relaxing the whole time instead of dancing. “He and Beyoncé are married.”

“That’s so funny because when your dad and I were dating, I loved Beyoncé, and he loved Jay-Z,” I told Skye.

Skye’s mouth opened so wide I could see her tonsils. “Are you serious?” she asked. “I need to hear everything about Dad listening to Jay-Z.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell you that. Not only did he listen to Jay-Z, but he tried to be a rapper himself. You remember that, Leah?”

“Um . . . No, not really.”

“Of course you don’t.” I looked at Skye. “Your Teeah didn’t like it when I’d tell her things about your dad. They had a love-hate relationship back then.”

Leah coughed like she was choking on something.

“Are you okay?” I was about to go to her, but she stood. “I just need some water. I’m fine.” She hurried to the kitchen.

“Hold on. Dad. My dad. Quinton Boudreaux was a rapper? The man who only listens to talk radio or jazz? That Quinton?”

“Talk radio and jazz? No way.” That time I was the one shocked by the news.

The Quinton I knew would never listen to jazz.

If he did it would be to make fun of it.

He definitely wouldn’t listen to it for enjoyment.

Although he wasn’t the twenty-five-year-old I’d been taken away from anymore.

Maybe getting older changed his taste in music.

I wondered what else changed about him. Did he still like going to the movies?

Was Popeyes still his favorite fast-food restaurant?

There was so much about him that I suddenly wanted to know so badly.

“I cannot believe my dad tried to be a rapper,” Skye said. “I can’t even picture it.”

“Yep. His rap name was Q-Dog.”

Skye laughed so hard she had tears rolling down her cheeks. “I wish I would’ve known him back then. He sounds like he was a lot of fun.”

“He was. We used to have the best times when we were together. I guess that’s why we were always with each other.” I pretended to whisper, “Which your Gran and Teeah didn’t like very much.”

“I get wanting to be together, but all the time. That’s the part I didn’t understand. Everyone needs a break from each other every now and then,” Mama said.

Mama definitely didn’t understand. When things were great between me and Quinton, the last thing we wanted or needed was a break.

That felt more like a punishment than anything.

Back then, being with Quinton was everything I could have wanted—it was comfort, excitement, and security all wrapped into one.

I wished I still felt that way, but Quinton was a stranger now.

And bigger than that, he was someone else’s husband.

“None of that sounds anything like the dad I know,” Skye said.

“Well, I think I brought a lot of his silly side out of him. He wasn’t always like that. He used to be like the person you’re describing now ... minus the jazz music and talk radio. That was never him.” I laughed. “But the more we were around each other, the more he loosened up.”

“That must be it then.”

“I’m surprised your stepmom hasn’t pulled it out of him already. Unless she’s not the silly type either.”

Skye didn’t respond. She just kinda hunched her shoulders, but I could tell she wasn’t comfortable talking about her stepmom, so I moved on.

“Like Teeah, for instance. She’s more serious than I used to be.

I bet my brother-in-law, who I still haven’t met,” I hollered into the kitchen, “is probably just like her. Serious and all business.”

Skye laughed nervously, then all our attention was drawn to the kitchen when something shattered.

“Sorry. It’s fine,” Leah called to us.

“I’ll be back.” Mama jumped up and rushed into the kitchen.

“Is she okay?” I asked Skye. “Did she seem like something was bothering her when you all were on your way here?”

Skye shook her head. “I’m sure it’s nothing. She’s probably busy with work or something like that.” She laughed again.

Skye had a tell, and it didn’t take long for me to pick up on it.

She laughed when she was nervous, and people only got nervous when they were hiding something.

As much as I wished I could shake the feeling, I just knew that there was something my family was keeping from me, and whatever it was had to do with Leah. I felt it in my spirit.

“You know what?” I told Skye. “I bet I still have some of your dad’s old tapes that he used to make for me. They’re probably in one of those boxes in the closet.”

She wasted no time leaping from the sofa and running up the stairs. I enjoyed spending time with her, but I needed to check on Leah and figure out what was going on.