Page 8

Nova

Each time the door opened, I expected my family to walk through. My body deflated every time I saw a nurse or Detective Cox. However, I perked up when the detective said she’d heard from the sheriff that my family was on their way.

There was no way I could sleep now.

“What are you doing, young lady?” Ashley, my nurse, asked when she walked in. She put her hands on very round hips and shook her head. “What did they tell you about this?” She pointed to the television.

My hands shook so badly that it was hard to pick up the remote. I managed to press the green button that turned it off. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay,” Ashley assured me. “The doctor just don’t want you to overwhelm yourself. That’s all.”

Dr. Lee didn’t realize that nothing on the TV was more overwhelming than what was going on inside my head.

I was free, but I didn’t feel free. I felt like I belonged to someone else.

Like nothing about me was mine. I waited for someone to tell me what to do and when to do it.

I wished I felt free, but I didn’t know what that felt like anymore.

I did know what fear felt like, though. It was a familiar feeling that I’d hoped would go away once I left that house, but it didn’t. It had just got stronger and heavier since I’d been here. Everything was too big. Too open. Too strange, and I hated it.

Ashley stood next to my bed. My body tensed, and my heart raced. She was closer now.

“You mind if I check your blood pressure?” She held on to the machine that sat next to the bed.

I reminded myself that Ashley wasn’t dangerous. She just wanted to do her job, and I should let her do that. I nodded. She wrapped something around my arm.

“You okay?” Ashley leaned her head to the side and stared at me.

I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t speak. I was too busy trying to remember to breathe.

“Nova.” Her voice was low and soft.

I nodded again. “I’m okay,” I whispered.

She paused for a few seconds before pressing the button, and the machine started humming.

The thing around my arm got tighter and tighter, and even though I knew it was Ashley standing next to me, my mind told me it was Adam, and the tightness was his hand wrapped around my arm.

I closed my eyes and tried to will the image away, but instead, it grew more vivid.

I tried to squeeze myself as far as I could into the corner of the bed.

I hid my face and begged him to stop. Begged for him to leave me alone.

“Nova.” He called my name, but it didn’t sound like him at all.

I couldn’t look. It was a trick. As soon as I lifted my head, he was going to attack.

I knew him well enough to recognize when he’d lure me into what I considered a safe space just for him to snatch me right out of it.

I covered my ears and continued begging for him to leave, but I sensed him standing there watching me and waiting.

“Nova.” Another voice broke through my wall of terror. I knew that voice. I loved that voice. I lifted my head slightly.

My eyes landed on the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and a tsunami of emotions surged through me.

I launched from the bed, and a sharp pain shot through my ankle.

It slowed me down but didn’t stop me from wrapping myself around Mama with such force that we almost toppled over.

The deep, guttural wail that escaped from my body caused me to tremble.

Fifteen years’ worth of longing, needing, and eventually hopelessness was expelled through every tear.

“Thank you, God,” Mama repeated as she held me tighter.

Mama stood back and looked at me. Her eyes made me nervous, but it was Mama, and I wanted to look at her too.

She’d changed a lot. The darkness underneath her eyes wasn’t there the last time I saw her.

Neither were the lines that exposed themselves every time she narrowed her eyes.

Even with all the changes, she was still the beautiful woman Daddy called his Brown Sugar.

I inhaled as hard and as long as I could.

Mama smelled like safety, and I wanted to fill my entire body with her scent.

We shook and cried until every ounce of water we had, or so I thought, had left our bodies.

It turned out that I had plenty of tears left over.

I lifted my foot and put most of my pressure on the ankle that wasn’t sore.

I’d waited too long for this moment, and I didn’t want to sit while it happened.

Mama moved aside, and Leah sat in her spot.

I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was just as beautiful in person as she was in the picture I’d seen.

Other than a few extra pounds that looked amazing on her and eyes that were still big and beautiful but aged with wisdom and experiences that I missed out on—a realization that sent an ache throughout my entire body, causing a lump to settle in the pit of my throat.

When Leah stepped closer, I noticed that her hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail, held a few gray strands, a silent testament to how much time we’d missed.

Leah picked up my hand and gently squeezed it, causing more uncontrollable tears to flow.

That squeeze was our code of reassurance, a promise that everything would be okay.

Whenever one of us got scared in the middle of the night, the other would crawl into bed next to them, pick up their hand, and squeeze it.

“You remembered,” I choked out.

“How could I ever forget?” Her voice was laced with sorrow as she leaned down and wrapped herself around me, just as Mama had done. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

Throughout the room, all I heard was sniffling. Some came from us, and some, even though I didn’t see it, seemed to come from the few police officers who stood by the door and witnessed our reunion.

I looked around, and my eyes fell on the most beautiful young lady who was more developed and taller than the two-year-old memory I held close to my heart.

She’d changed the most out of everyone, but she was definitely my baby.

Everyone moved aside and created a path for Skye to walk through, giving me a better look at the two-year-old, who now stood taller than Leah and Mama.

The resemblance to my younger self was uncanny.

Tall, slim, and muscular. She had to be an athlete.

My hands trembled as I reached out to her. I was afraid to move too quick. Afraid that any sudden movements would make her image disappear. When my fingers brushed against her soft skin, the joy that I’d buried years ago was revived.

I could tell she was nervous. She held her phone tightly in her hand and close to her body.

She looked like she wasn’t sure what she should do.

That made two of us. The baby I protected in my body and nourished with my milk was a stranger.

Her discomfort twisted my heart into a tight knot.

I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her close, but I resisted the urge, and instead, I held out my hand, a silent invitation.

Joy exploded inside me when she placed hers in mine.

I lifted it to my cheek, closed my eyes, and soaked in the moment.

When I opened them, tears blurred my vision.

“You used to have the tiniest hands,” I told her.

“I used to kiss them all the time when you were a baby.” I swallowed the huge lump in my throat.

“You would laugh when I pretended to bite your fingers off.”

Skye managed a small smile. Her discomfort seemed to ease a little. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

The sound of her voice caused me to gasp. I’d never heard her voice before. Not the voice she grew into. It was soft and calming. I could listen to her talk all day. I wanted to listen to her talk all day. In fact, it was all I wanted to do.

“I used to dream about you,” Skye said.

“You did?” I wanted to know more. Wanted her to keep talking and never stop. I lowered myself onto the bed when my one leg could no longer hold me up.

“It was mainly about basketball,” she continued.

“Skye’s a star basketball player. She’s just like her mom.” Mama beamed, confirming what I already assumed.

Skye’s cheeks went from brown to crimson as she smiled at her grandma. I had a feeling Mama thought everything Skye did was exceptional. Just as I did, even without knowing for sure.

I tore my attention away from Skye and looked around the room. It wasn’t hard to notice that two people were missing. “Where’s Quinton and Dad?” I asked.

Eyes darted around the room, but none of them connected with mine.

Something was wrong. My heart dropped, and so did my body.

Once again, I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed, but that time, it was from fear of what I was about to hear.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?

” My voice rose. “Tell me,” I said again.

Leah stepped in front of me and then sat beside me. When she took my hand in hers, I stopped breathing. Whatever she was about to say couldn’t be good.

“Nova.” Leah’s voice was sad. Everything felt sad.

“Are they gone?” I asked before she had a chance to tell me.

“Quinton’s here.” She had what looked like a forced smile. “He’s outside talking with Detective Cox.”

“What about Dad? Is he out there too?”

Leah shook her head. “No, Nova, he’s not.”

“Then where is he? At home?” I turned to Mama.

“Nova ...” Mama’s tone set off an alarm inside me.

“No. No. No.” I jerked one hand away from her and placed both of them firmly over my ears. If I didn’t hear it, then it wouldn’t be true. I had two prayers when I was in that room. One was to get out, and the other was to reunite with my family. All my family.

I sat on the side of the bed, singing louder and louder. I closed my eyes and refused to allow anything bad to come in. I did whatever I had to do to block out all the noise. All the bad stuff. I wanted it all to go away.