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Leah’s chest tightened at the memory. Not only because of the pain she heard in her sister’s words but also from her reaction when Nova told her the news.

Leah thought Quinton was a playa, and she didn’t trust him.

She didn’t want him to hurt Nova the way he’d hurt so many other girls before.

The irony of her past distrust of Quinton was like a knot tightening in her gut.

How could she have known that she would be the one who’d inflict the deepest wound?

“I was so excited,” Nova continued. “Then you asked me if he was good enough for me. Remember that?” She looked at Leah again.

Leah’s throat tightened, her voice coming out as a hoarse whisper. “Yeah, I remember, Nova. I remember all of that.”

Nova chuckled. “You said he didn’t seem smart enough for me.”

Leah’s heart pounded so hard she felt it in her ears. Leah understood the message Nova was relaying. “That was a long time ago, Nova. We were all kids back then.” The excuse felt as hollow as it sounded.

Nova laughed hard before her laughter abruptly stopped. “So, at what point did you realize he was good enough? Was it before we got married or after?”

Leah’s mouth fell open. Guilt, shame, and fear battled for dominance inside her.

Her chest was too tight, each breath a struggle.

She wanted to explain, to make Nova understand the years of loneliness, grief, and unexpected love that led them to this moment.

More than that, she wanted to beg for forgiveness, to turn back the hands of time and undo the hurt she caused.

The only problem was the only way to undo the hurt would be to undo the love she had for Quinton. Both felt like impossible tasks.

“You know it wasn’t like that.” Even as the words left her mouth, Leah knew they were inadequate. The truth was, there was nothing she could say that could make Nova understand.

“I don’t know anything. I’m still trying to make you”—Nova held out one hand, her palm facing up—“and Quinton”—she did the same with the other hand—“make sense in my head, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t.

” She shook her head as she stared back and forth at both hands.

“Quinton. The person you called a dumb jock,” she said, bouncing one hand up and down.

“And you.” She did the same with the other hand.

“The person he said would never get married because no man would ever put up with your smart mouth and snooty attitude.”

Leah’s heart raced, and her voice trembled.

“Like I said. We were kids. We all said things back then that we wouldn’t say today.

You want to know the real reason I didn’t want you with Quinton?

” When Nova didn’t answer, Leah continued.

“It was because I knew how much you liked him, and I was afraid you’d start spending more time with him than with me.

I was afraid of losing you.” Leah didn’t bother stopping the tears.

“Just like I’m afraid of losing you now. ”

“I don’t understand how you could look at the man I loved. The man I had a child with and see anything other than me and him. How, Leah? I need you to help me understand.” Nova’s voice was low but pleading.

Leah took a step closer to Nova. “For years, I did only see you and him, but as the years passed, he became just Quinton. Not Quinton and Nova. I know this is painful, Nova, but I fell in love with the Quinton he became. Not the Quinton he used to be. Not your Quinton.” When Nova didn’t say anything, Leah took her chance and sat on the bed next to Nova.

“Every weekend for over a year, Quinton and I were in Biloxi and other parts of Mississippi putting up flyers, talking to people, trying to do everything we could to find you. For years, Nova.” Leah’s voice cracked.

“Neither one of us wanted to believe that you were really gone. That the one person we both loved more than our own lives was no longer with us. When everyone else told us we had to stop. We couldn’t keep doing that to ourselves.

Mama would’ve been with us, but the grief of coming back every time no closer than we were when we started was weighing on her too heavy. ”

“None of that has anything to do with how you ended up marrying my husband.”

“He wasn’t your husband anymore, Nova,” Leah’s voice was louder than she intended. She took a breath. “When things changed between Quinton and me, you’d been gone for over ten years. Ten years, Nova. All hopes of you ever coming back were gone by then.”

Nova’s nose flared as if she was struggling to keep her composure. Between clenched teeth, she said, “That still didn’t mean it was okay for the two of you to get together.”

“I understand that, and you have to understand how hard we both tried to pretend that what we felt wasn’t there.

We tried to make ourselves believe that it was in our minds.

We were both looking for someone in each other that neither of us could have.

We believed that who we both really wanted was you. ”

“And then you both realized that it wasn’t me you wanted at all. It was each other.”

Nova was quiet for a minute. She lowered her head and stared down at her feet, which she swept back and forth across the shaggy carpet. Leah was stuck in disbelief at Nova’s words, which caused a mixture of shock and anguish to press down on her chest.

Nova lifted her head and looked at Leah. “Tell me the truth. Did you fall in love with Quinton because your relationship grew over time, and you couldn’t help it? Or did you fall in love with him so you’d finally know what it feels like to be me?”

The question hit Leah like a physical blow. The air had been sucked out of the room. “What? No, why would you ask that?”

Nova stared at Leah. “Because you’ve always been jealous of what Quinton and I had.

You didn’t like him because you didn’t have anyone who would love you the way he loved me.

And guess what, Leah? Quinton will never love you the way he loves me.

And you will never love him the way I did.

I hope you can handle it when he shows you because eventually he will.

” Nova pulled her legs onto the bed and curled into herself, resting her head on her pillow as she turned away from Leah.

The room fell silent, but their conversation lingered, a stubborn presence that made itself at home in Leah’s mind. The weight of Nova’s words sank inside Leah and jackhammered through her heart.

Leah picked herself up and silently walked to the door.

She put her hand on the knob but couldn’t walk out.

Leah turned back to Nova. “You’re right, Nova.

Quinton will never love me the way he loved you.

And I will never love him the way you did.

Do you know why? Because I’m not you. I’ve never wanted to be you.

Believe it or not, falling in love with Quinton had nothing to do with you. Maybe one day you’ll see that.”

With nothing left to say, Leah walked out of the room.

She’d made it to the bottom step when she flopped down and leaned her head against the wall.

Leah swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion.

Will he ever love me the way he loved her?

Doubt crept into her mind; unwelcome thoughts festered like a wound.

She tried to push the thoughts away, to rationalize that Nova’s words were a product of hurt and pain, but it didn’t matter because the seed of doubt had already been planted, and Leah didn’t know how to stop it from blooming.

“Leah.” Martha rushed over to her, still sitting on the step, trying to pull herself together.

“I’m fine.” Leah pushed herself to her feet and tried to steady herself on her heels, which didn’t feel as sturdy as they did a moment ago. “I need to go. I’ll call you later.” Her attempt to rush out of the house was unsuccessful as she fumbled with the locks.

“I got it.” Martha moved around Leah and turned the locks. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Leah kissed her mom and walked away.