Page 64
Story: A Sky Full of Love
It wasn’t long before they were greeted by a woman who looked like an older version of Quinton, including the light-brown eyes.
Renee’s curly hair was cut short. She’d always been a beautiful woman, but time seemed to weigh heavily on her.
Her skin was pale, and her eyes were weary.
Renee led Leah and Quinton into a cramped family room that was cluttered with furniture that was too big for such a small space.
As they settled in, they spent time catching up and filling Renee in on Skye and Nova.
Once the pleasantries were over, Leah sensed a shift in the atmosphere.
She volunteered to give them some time alone, but Quinton held Leah’s hand tighter, letting Leah know that her husband needed her support, and she was more than happy to give it.
“There’s something that I need to talk with you about that I should’ve done a long time ago,” Quinton began, his gaze steady on Renee.
“Okay. This sounds serious.” Renee smiled nervously, looking from Leah to Quinton. “What is it? You’re scaring me.”
“You don’t have to be scared. It’s nothing bad. Recently, I realized that I’ve been carrying around some unresolved issues that I needed to deal with so I can find a way to let it go and move on,” Quinton explained.
“Unresolved issues? About me?” Renee touched her chest and looked genuinely surprised that Quinton could have any issues with her.
“I didn’t realize how much it affected me and how much anger I was still holding on to from you sending me to live with Grandma and Grandpa.
” Quinton’s leg bounced as he spoke. His words spilled out with a raw honesty that touched Leah as if it was her first time hearing them.
“I never got over that you chose your boyfriend over me. I couldn’t imagine ever doing that to Skye.
I can’t understand how it was so easy for you to do it to me.
” His voice broke slightly, and he paused, closed his eyes, and gathered himself as he often did lately whenever he talked about his feelings toward Renee.
Leah held his hand tighter, and her heart ached for Quinton. She wished more than anything that she could take his pain away, but she understood that this was something he had to go through in order to get to the other side of his healing.
Renee folded herself in two, and her body shook as she cried.
The ache in Leah’s heart grew as it took in Renee’s hurt along with Quinton’s.
Quinton released Leah’s hand for the first time since they arrived and sat closer to his mom.
When Renee was composed and able to speak, she dropped a bombshell neither Leah nor Quinton expected.
Renee sniffed, and her voice trembled. “I didn’t send you away because of my boyfriend,” she admitted.
Quinton’s brow furrowed in confusion. Leah imagined his expression matched her own. “What? But you said he didn’t like children, so I had to go and live with Grandma and Grandpa,” he reminded her.
“I know, but that wasn’t true. It was easier to tell you that than the truth.” Renee’s admission felt heavy to Leah, so she could only imagine how it must’ve felt to Quinton.
“Then what was the truth?” Quinton reached for Leah once again, and she wrapped her hand around his.
“I sent you away because I was addicted to pills,” Renee said, her voice barely above a whisper as she adverted her gaze away from Quinton.
Pills? Leah repeated to herself. She never expected to hear that.
Quinton’s body stiffened, and the hold he had on Leah’s hand tightened. Leah looked at him, and he stared at his mom, unblinking. Leah could tell he was still trying to get his mind to understand what she’d just said.
“What kind of pills? When? I never remember you taking any pills.” Quinton’s words were filled with disbelief.
Renee wrapped her arms around her body and rocked back and forth as if trying to soothe herself as she told them about one of the most painful times in her life.
“When your dad died ... was killed, it hit me harder than you may have known. I tried to do a good job covering it up because you were young and had just lost your dad; you didn’t need a mom who was falling apart to worry about too.
So, I pretended to be okay, but I could only pretend for so long.
I was the reason your dad went back out that night.
” Renee shook her head. “I was upset because he’d stopped by the store, and I reminded him to get some eggs.
Of course, he forgot because he always forgot something I asked him to get.
” She blinked as if a memory had stolen her attention.
“Anyway, I made such a fuss over him forgetting that he went back out just to shut me up.” Renee wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.
“Then, as you know, on his way back, he was hit by a drunk driver and died on the spot. I held on to so much guilt that I could barely function. The doctor gave me some pills for anxiety, but they didn’t seem to work.
Not the amount he prescribed, anyway. I was taking way more than I was supposed to, and I didn’t want to admit it, but I was addicted.
No one knew except my best friend, Farah. You may not remember Farah.”
“I remember her,” Quinton said.
“She knew something was wrong. She found the pills that I’d bought when the prescribed ones ran out.
Farah threatened to call and take you away if I didn’t get help.
” Renee’s eyes watered. “I was sick, Quinton, and I didn’t realize it.
The only way to protect you and get the release I needed was to send you to your grandparents. ”
Leah watched as Renee’s body shook with sobs.
The raw pain in Renee’s voice made Leah’s chest tighten with empathy even as her mind raced to process everything she was hearing.
Her eyes darted to Quinton, and the sight of him nearly broke Leah in two.
Tears streamed silently down his face, but he remained motionless as if frozen in place.
Leah felt torn. The therapist in her wanted to step in and facilitate this crucial moment of understanding between Quinton and his mom. But the other part, the wife, knew this was Quinton’s journey to navigate. Her role as his wife was to be there for emotional support, so that was what she did.
For a brief moment, Quinton’s eyes met Leah’s. She tried to convey her support through her gaze, offering a small, encouraging nod.
“I wish you would’ve told me,” Quinton said softly.
“Believe me, I would’ve told you the truth a long time ago had I’d known you thought I chose a man over you.
Quinton, baby, there’s no one on earth that I’d choose over you.
You were and have always been the best part of your dad and me.
Sending you to your grandparents was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I knew you’d have a great life with them.
They always spoiled you rotten.” Renee’s mouth slowly turned up at the edges.
“I noticed that only got worse when you moved in. I saw all the clothes and shoes they’d bought you.
Things I could never afford on my salary. ”
Quinton’s head raised, and his face asked the same question Leah was thinking. “You didn’t buy those things?”
“No, Mom and Dad did.”
“They told me that you sent them.”
“I guess they didn’t want you to think I abandoned you.
They tried to do whatever they could to make me look like a good mom, even though I was the worst. What kind of mother sends her child away so she can keep popping pills?
You have every right to hate me, Quinton.
I don’t blame you if you never want to see or speak to me again.
It would hurt me to my core, but it’s what I deserve. ”
Quinton once again shifted his body toward Renee. He reached for her hand. “I don’t hate you, but I wish we’d had this conversation a long time ago. Things could be a lot different now. Between us, I mean.”
Renee nodded.
“There’s still time, you know?” Leah spoke for the first time.
“This is a good start for both of you, but this also opens up the line of communication so you can continue talking and sharing your true feelings with each other. But it’s going to take commitment on both sides.
” She looked at both of them and then said, “Sorry. It’s hard to keep the therapist quiet at times.
” Leah shrank back to allow them the space they needed to continue talking.
“No. Don’t apologize. Sounds like a therapist is just what we need.” Renee chuckled.
Ignoring everything that was just said, Quinton said, “I understand now why you made the decision that you did. You said it was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it was also the most selfless thing you could do. I couldn’t imagine having to make that choice.”
Renee cleared her throat, then swallowed. “Thank you for saying that.”
“There is something else I need to ask, though,” Quinton said. “It’s clear why I was sent away, but what’s kept you away? We’ve invited you for holidays and birthdays, but you never show.”
So, it did bother him that she didn’t show up.
Leah knew it had to, but he’d done a great job pretending it didn’t matter.
All Leah knew was she’d have a fit if her mom weren’t there for her.
Over time, Leah chalked it up to Quinton being a man and not letting things bother him like they’d bother her.
Renee rubbed her hands together and then exhaled. “I stayed away because I never felt like you really wanted me there. It was just the vibe I felt, and I hated the thought of making you feel that way.”
Quinton’s eyes narrowed, and his head shook slowly in protest of Renee’s words.
“Maybe I was reading too much into it, or maybe I was the one who felt awkward or out of place. I don’t know. I just hate that so much time had to pass before we had this conversation.”
“I do, too, because I would’ve told you that I loved having you around. When I invited you, it was because I wanted you there,” Quinton said.
The number-one problem that Leah saw with all her couples was communication or the lack thereof.
Listening to Quinton and his mom really drove home how important it was for people to open up and talk with each other, even if it was hard or uncomfortable.
Assumptions had stolen so much precious time that neither of them could ever get back.
To Leah, that was the saddest part of all of this.
“Well,” Leah said, glancing at Quinton, then Renee. “Christmas is in a few weeks. We’d love to spend it with you.”
Relief washed over Leah when Quinton smiled at her offer. After she’d asked the question, she thought that maybe she’d overstepped and should’ve waited to see if it was what Quinton wanted.
“That’s a great idea,” Quinton added. “You can ride back with us on Sunday if you want, and I’ll buy you a plane ticket back.”
Renee sat expressionless, and Leah held her breath, praying that Renee didn’t deliver Quinton another letdown.
“I’d love that,” she finally said. “It’s perfect timing, too, because I’m off next week. The lady I sit with is visiting with her daughter for the holidays.” Renee’s smile lit up her whole face.
Leah had forgotten that Renee was a home health aide. She’d been doing it for years, and she seemed to love it. Before today, Leah used to say she wished Renee cared for Quinton as much as she cared for her patients, but of course, that was before she knew the whole story.
Leaving Renee’s house that evening was like an awakening that both Leah and Quinton needed. Quinton was able to shed all those unsaid words and emotions he tried to bury but couldn’t.
Quinton pulled out of Renee’s subdivision and stopped at an empty lot not far from her house. Leah didn’t know what was happening. Quinton got out, and Leah went to him. Quinton pulled her close and held her tight.
“I just needed some air,” he explained.
“I understand. That was a lot.” She rested her head on his chest.
They stayed that way until Leah lifted her head to him. “You okay?”
He nodded. “I will be.” Quinton sighed, then pushed out the word, “Pills.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe she was addicted to pills. I used to hear Grandma and Grandpa whispering whenever she would call, but I never asked what they were talking about. Not that they would’ve told me anyway.”
“How are you feeling about all of this?” Leah asked as Quinton leaned against the SUV and pulled her with him.
“I feel better knowing she didn’t just abandon me for a man. I feel bad that she had to go through all of that, though. Holding on to guilt about my dad’s accident. I wish I could’ve told her it wasn’t her fault.”
Leah arched her neck toward him. “But you realize she wouldn’t have heard you, right?
She needed time to come to that conclusion for herself.
And time to forgive herself. The same way you needed time to forgive yourself for not being there for Nova.
All this time you and your mom were carrying around similar pain and didn’t know it,” Leah said once that realization came to her.
“They say timing’s everything. Maybe this was the right time for me to deal with the issues I had with her. At least that’s what I have to believe so I won’t beat myself up for not coming sooner.”
Leah shook her head. “No, you won’t do that because I won’t let you. And I agree. Everything happens exactly when it’s supposed to happen.” She lifted her head more, and Quinton wasted no time pressing his lips against hers.
“Thank you for being you.” He kissed her again. “And thank you for loving me through all my stuff.” Another kiss.
“You don’t have to thank me for doing what I want to do and would choose to do a thousand times again.”
That weekend felt like a new beginning for Leah and Quinton. They both knew that they weren’t the same people they’d been a few months ago. Between the couples counseling and that trip, they were learning and growing together, and they weren’t bonded by grief. They were bonded by love.
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