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“Oh, sorry. We lost track of time,” I say, looking around at the daycare to find that everyone else had been picked up.
I can tell Marco is hesitant to leave as he puts the book down and looks at Josie sitting in his lap. We both pull ourselves to stand up and he hands me Josie, somewhat reluctantly. I hate him forit and love him for it at the same time. I hold her close and head out the open gate that worker is holding for us. We both thank her, and I do my best to ignore her curious expression about why I’m here with my boss playing with my baby.
Out in the hallway, I pop Josie in her stroller, and Marco and I walk in silence to the elevator. The only sound is Josie babbling nonsense. We step into the elevator and I can feel his eyes on Josie. On me. The small space feels like it’s filled with words unspoken, dying to get out. I feel relieved when the doors open and I step in the lobby, taking a deep breath.
“Thank you,” murmurs Marco.
“Sure.” I shrug.
I try to play it off like this wasn’t one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’m not sure how to feel about it yet. Did I want his daughter to hate him? Would it feel better than her immediately loving him? I don’t know.
“I know this wasn’t easy for you,” says Marco, putting his hands in his pocket and rocking back on his heels. It’s one of the rare times I’ve seen him nervous. The others were because of me. I remember loving that feeling, knowing I had that effect on him.
“It’s just weird. You know?”
“Yeah.” He laughs softly.
I look toward the doors of the lobby. The sun has already disappeared behind the glass and stone of the city’s skyscrapers, leaving a purple sky in its absence. For some reason, going home doesn’t sound as appealing after a long day of work. For some reason, I don’t want this time with Marco to end, even though I know it should.
“Do you maybe want to get dinner?” I ask.
“Really?” He looks taken aback.
“Sure.” I shrug, like it’s nothing.
Like I haven’t just opened a door I thought we had both shut.
“I’d love to.”
“Okay.” I give him a small glimmer of a smile.
He leads me out the doors into the night air. We walk down the block to a diner that Josie loves because they give her a little paper hat. We settle into one of the red retro booths and begin looking over the plastic menus, Josie sitting on my lap.
“Can I get your little one a high chair?” asks the waitress as she approaches the table with a smile.
“That would be great,” I say.
She brings one over and I pull out a bag of disinfecting wipes from my diaper bag, wiping down the high chair before I drape over the cover I carry with me, as Josie is wrapped around my hip. I set her in the chair and buckle her in before handing her one of her favorite toys to play with. I can feel Marco watching me as I settle back into the booth.
“What?” I ask, raising a brow.
“You.”
“Me what?”
“You just have this whole mom thing down.”
“I would hope so. I’ve been doing it for almost a year now.”
“It’s impressive.”
I feel my cheeks burn slightly from the compliment. It’s silly really. All I did was get Josie into her high chair. Still, it’s nice to hear you’re doing a good job as a mom. Even better when it’s coming from Marco, the man I’ve tried to rid from my mind, but can’t.
The waitress comes back over and takes our order. We order two cheeseburgers and two fries, along with two milkshakes, strawberry and chocolate.
“What about Josie?” asks Marco, as I hand the waitress the menus. “Shouldn’t we order her a kid’s meal?”
I look at him and cock my head, finding it humorous that he thinks she can eat an entire meal from the menu. I nod to the waitress that she can go, as I stifle a laugh.