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“Yes, but are you sure these are for me?” I furrow my brows.
“Yes, ma’am.” He holds them out a bit unsteadily.
I take them from him, surprised by their weight. Maybe there are four dozen roses.
“Can you sign for them?” he asks.
“Uh, sure. Let me put these down.”
I turn and place the vase of flowers on the entryway table, casting a quick glance at Josie, who is busy playing, before turning to sign his outstretched clipboard.
“Thanks,” he says as I sign a sloppy signature. “The sender wants to be notified that they were received.”
“And who is the sender?” I ask curiously.
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not able to tell you that. But there’s a card in there somewhere.”
I nod. “Well, thank you.”
“Have a good night,” he says before popping in his AirPods. I can hear the music from where I’m standing. Some sort of heavy metal.
I slip back inside my apartment and lock the door behind me. I look at the flowers taking up the whole entryway table. They’re probably the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen. A stark white that looks almost velvet. The petals gently layered over each other like little hugs. I don’t see a thorn in sight on the deep green stems. I turn the vase, looking for the card. I spot it nestled inside the vase. I dig it out and open it, letting out a faint gasp as I read the words.
I’m sorry for being such an idiot. Please forgive me.
XO,
Marco
I read the words over again to make sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me. They aren’t. This beautiful bouquet of flowers is from the man who told me just this morning how he wants nothing to do with me. That he wished he never met me. I shake my head in confused disbelief as I run my thumb over the typed print, as if he wrote it himself.
I don’t understand what could have changed since this morning to be apologizing to me. He had been so angry. It doesn’t make sense. And why ishethe one who is apologizing?I’mthe one who lied to him.I’mthe one who has been keeping this life-changing secret all to myself, even after we had grown closer.
Another thought creeps in my head as I try to put the fragmented pieces together. A thought that makes me clutch my stomach, trying to catch my breath. Maybe he’s up to something. Maybe he’s planning something to hurt me, and these flowers are a way to soften me up. To let him back in. But for what? Is it to get Josie?
He told me he wants nothing to do with her, or “it” as he so kindly put it. Maybe he had just said those words out of anger, and he didn’t really mean them. Maybe he does want to be her father, so he can somehow take her away from me. To hurt me in a way he knows would cut me to my core. I feel my knees buckle underneath me. The smell of roses consumes me and I step backward, away from them.
“Mama?” says Josie from the floor, sounding confused.
I turn to her and give her the best smile I can.
“Mama’s okay, Josie. I’m right here.”
I walk over and sit on the floor next to her, pulling her onto my lap and pressing her tightly against me. I breathe in her baby scent, hoping it never fades. Hoping I never lose it. The thought makes me want to die. Truly. To be without my daughter is unspeakable. Unfathomable.
I don’t think Marco is that diabolical, but they don’t call him The Shark for nothing. I want to call him, ask him what this is about. I feel like my brain is screaming questions at me, coming up with different scenarios that all end terribly. I shake my head, trying to clear it. I’m going to ignore this. I will pretend I never received these flowers, even though he will know I signed for them. Whatever he’s up to, I’m not going to play into it.
I rock Josie back and forth while she tries to squirm away from me to get to her toys. She must have gotten a second wind. I let her go and she crawls back to her stacking rings, shaking them above her head. I see the flowers in the corner of my eye. They seem more threatening than beautiful now.
I pick up my phone and open the group chat I have with Beth and Sadie.
Me:SOS. Meet at my place.
Sadie:Uh-oh. On my way.
Beth:I’m closing up the flower shop now. Be there soon.
Me:Thank you. I’ll have dinner waiting for you.