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I feel a small sense of relief knowing my friends are on their way. I should really call them sisters after everything they’ve helped me through. I owe them so much. The least I can give them tonight is some chicken, rice, and broccoli. I pull myself to stand and head back to the kitchen to finally start on dinner.
An hour later, we are all sitting around the coffee table with our dinner in bowls steaming up toward the ceiling. We wait for it to cool, the vase of flowers sitting in the middle of the table, as we throw ideas around on what it could mean.
“They could mean he’sactuallysorry. I mean, you two did share something. It’s hard to just throw that away. Maybe you’re looking too far into it,” suggests Beth. Of course, she’s always looking for the good in people. The love in a story.
“You didn’t see the look on his face when I met with him this morning. You didn’t hear his voice. It didn’t shake. Didn’t falter. He meant what he said. I keep replaying it back in my mind and it’s worse every time.”
“Well, anger makes you act a certain way…”
“Yeah, in a way that could possibly hurt Erica. Or Josie,” says Sadie.
“He wouldn’t hurt Josie. He’s a good person. He’d probably spoil her rotten though, and she’d forget all about me,” I say, trying not to let my voice crack.
“She could never forget you. And that’s not going to happen,” says Sadie, reaching over and squeezing my hand reassuringly.
“How do we know that?” I ask. “This is why I’ve been keeping Josie a secret for so long. I couldn’t risk letting Marco come into her life only just to walk out on her. Or worse, I couldn’t risk him taking her away from me. I’ve completely blown it.” I put my face in my hands, suddenly not hungry for the food before me.
“That’s not going to happen either,” says Beth. “You know what I think about the flowers, but if you’re that worried that it means something else, then maybe it’s time you hire a lawyer.”
“I can’t afford a good one,” I say, shaking my head. “Not one that can go up against Marco and his slew of expensive attorneys that would rip mine to shreds.”
“You can’t just give up.”
“Maybe you can ask your brother…”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “He can’t know about this. Any of it. I’ve gone this far without his or my family’s help. Thanks to you two. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’re strong on your own, Erica,” says Beth.
“And you’ll be strong if this thing ever goes to court. Whether or not you have the best lawyer, you’re going to be prepared to fight for your daughter,” says Sadie.
She pulls out her phone and begins typing.
“What are you doing?” I ask curiously.
“I’m finding you a lawyer.”
“Thank you. Really. For everything.”
I look between my two best friends, and over at Josie who sits in her booster seat eating little pieces of steamed broccoli. She’s blissfully unaware of what’s going on around her, and that’s the only silver lining in this moment. I’ve done everything possible to protect her ever since she was born. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to be healthy and happy. To be loved immensely. I know that I’ve done that as her mother.
If it comes down to it, and I need to prove that to a judge, I will. I will do whatever I can to keep her with me.
Chapter 34
Marco
Iturn on the shower and step in, not even waiting for it to heat up. I need the cold water to wake me up after another sleepless night. Another night tossing and turning in my bed, thinking about Erica. About Josie. I’m riddled with guilt over what I said to Erica. It clearly caused enough damage for her to not want anything to do with me. That was the point, wasn’t it?
It was the point until I saw my daughter in person in that daycare. Now, my whole life has changed and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop thinking about the hate-filled words I spewed at Erica because of my anger. The words that have probably ruined any chance I have of being in Josie’s life.
I stupidly thought a huge bouquet of roses and an apology card would make things right, but I haven’t heard from Erica. I know she received them because she signed for them. But it’s been three days and nothing. I haven’t seen her since I saw herand her brother in the lobby, and I’ve done all but walk to her cubicle at work. I’ve spent a little extra time in the lobby when I arrive, hoping to catch her on her way in. I’ve walked the floor, hoping to run into her. I’ve even taken my lunch break in the breakroom, hoping she’d be there, but I was only left with my employees eyeing me warily as they bit into their cold sandwiches.
I just want to talk to her, to apologize in person. It was my hope the flowers would soften her up a little, but I know I need to do more than send a bouquet. I need to grovel. If there’s any chance of seeing Josie again, I have to go through her mother, the woman I was falling for before everything became so complicated.
Tiredly, I step out of the shower and reach for a towel to dry off. The chill of the water helped a little, but I know I’ll need a few shots of espresso to make it through today. I have another meeting with Brock Wellington, and I’m hoping he’s decided to sign a lease and invite me to be a partner. It’s a big day, and I can’t screw it up. I wish my heart was more in it, but it seems like I left it on the floor of the daycare days ago.
I want to go back and see Josie, but I know it will raise a few questions from staff. It’s so hard to stay away, knowing she’s in the same building as me. Knowing she’s just an elevator ride away is tempting, but I don’t want to cross any lines with Erica, further pissing her off. I also don’t need speculation swirling around me, as I hope to close this deal today. The situation of me being a father to a baby I didn’t know about is delicate, and any leaks to the press could not only ruin my reputation, but affect Josie and Erica as well.