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Chapter 17
Erica
I try to catch my breath as the cab drives away from the mistake I almost let myself make. I can still feel Marco’s breath against me, catching in the back of his throat as his lips came closer, almost as if he was just as nervous as me. I hate myself for wanting it, for closing my eyes and letting it even get as far as it did. The words “you’re beautiful” still floating in my head like a bouquet of balloons.
Agreeing to go with him to tonight’s event had been a bad idea, but he had been so convincing in saying he needed me there, and in the idea of getting the exclusive for my column. If I’m being honest, the idea of dressing up and going to something so extravagant was appealing. It had been so long since I had stepped into that world, and to do it with him was more thrilling than I would like to admit.
It seemed like everyone at the gala was looking at him, and how could they not? In walks one of the city’s most eligible bachelors, most wealthy on top of that, in a black tux that put every other man in that room to shame. I could hardly breathe when he picked me up looking like that. I knew as soon as I saw him that I had made a mistake in coming, but it was too late to turn back and go inside my apartment. And it felt so good to feel beautiful in this ridiculously expensive gown that he paid for. I run my hands over it now and sigh, wondering how I got myself into this mess. How am I supposed to face him on Monday?
As the cab pulls up to my apartment building, I hand him cash to cover the drive and a tip before stepping out onto the sidewalk. I feel like Cinderella coming home from the ball. I left in a fancy carriage and am coming back in a yellow pumpkin with black checkers on the side. I pick up my gown defeatedly and walk into my building, taking the elevator up to my floor.
Inside, I find Sadie dozing off on the couch with a book open on her chest. I recognize it as one of my friend Monica’s books. It’s one of her first novels, a romance about two people who can’t seem to get the timing right to be together. I remember reading it last year. I wonder if Marco and I had met at a different time, under different circumstances, if something might have happened between us. It had felt so real the night we met, like something you would read in a romance novel where you’re rooting for the couple to make it.
I tiptoe down the hall, my gown swishing behind me, and open the door to Josie’s nursery. I’ve made this walk too many times lately, visiting her while she sleeps after missing her all day. I stroke her soft hair with my hand and lean in to kiss her.
“I love you, Josie,” I whisper.
I want to wake her up and see her eyes light up when they see me, but I know I need to let her sleep. I have all weekend to be with her, with no distractions from work or Marco. At least I have that. I slip out the door and walk back to the living room where I carefully pry the book from Sadie’s fingers and place it on the coffee table. I lay a blanket over her. It’s nearly midnight. She may as well just sleep here.
After I flick the lights off, I go to my room and get washed up for bed. I hang the dress in my closet, my fingers running over the soft fabric fondly. It’s such a beautiful dress. One that I had picked out with Marco in mind. I feel stupid now for trying so hard when I know nothing can happen between us. It’s like I want him to want me, but I won’t let it get that far. It’s really not fair to him. Or me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to continue working with him. I’m just happy I have the weekend to clear my head.
For all the thoughts running through my mind, I surprisingly fall into a deep sleep quickly. The next thing I know, the morning sun is pouring through my white linen curtains. I sit up in bed, wearing my favorite flannel pajamas, and wonder if the night before had even happened. It feels like some sort of dream. The glass dome building fragrant with the freshest flowers that hung overhead like a pastel watercolor sky and tables adorned with towering candles, flickering in the dim lighting. It really was a ball from a fairytale.
I hear cabinets opening and closing in the kitchen, and I remember Sadie slept over. I pull the covers off me and walkdown the hall to find her making coffee with Josie slung on her hip.
“Good morning,” I say.
“Well, if it isn’t sleeping beauty?” asks Sadie with a smile.
“Thanks for letting me sleep in.”
“Of course. Thanks for tucking me in last night.”
I reach for Josie and she lets out a little giggle as I scoop her in my arms and twirl her around the kitchen.
“Mama,” she says through her laughter as she clings tightly to me.
“I missed you, baby girl.”
I nuzzle the space between her ear and her neck and breathe her in.
“How was your night?” asks Sadie, pouring two cups of coffee.
“It was good,” I say, gratefully taking one of the cups. “The event was beautiful. It was at the botanical gardens. Beth would have loved it. It was like being in a real-life fairytale.”
“And you looked like a real-life princess last night,” says Sadie.
She had helped me do my hair and makeup after work yesterday, at the same time calming my nerves that were dancing around in a frenzy.
“What about your prince?” she asks, eyeing me curiously before taking a sip of coffee.
“Myboss,” I correct her, “was fine.”
“Justfine?” She raises an eyebrow.
“Until he tried to kiss me…” I say.
“Oh, my gosh, Erica!” she says, her voice shrill.