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“He’s in a meeting right now.”
“Oh, okay,” I say, looking down at my feet, feeling my high begin to fade. Up until now, I didn’t realize how much I miss him, us, until I am standing outside his empty office wishing he were inside.
“But you can wait inside, if you’d like,” says Jessica, offering me a small smile.
I wonder if she has any idea of what our story is. If she does, for some reason, I trust her. Marco wouldn’t surround himself with people he didn’t trust.
“Thank you,” I say gratefully before pushing open his door. I settle into one of the armchairs across from his desk and wait for a moment that will change my life. Both our lives.
Chapter 50
Marco
When I open my office door, I’m surprised to see it’s not empty, but instead the one person I’ve been longing to see is sitting inside. I clear my throat nervously and Erica turns in the armchair she’s sitting in, her dark hair draped over one shoulder and her green eyes looking up at me through a few nervous blinks of her lashes.
“Hello,” I say softly, not sure if I should smile or give a solemn nod. She’s hard to read, and it drives me crazy not knowing what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers. The last time she was in here, she was serving me custody papers and slamming a tabloid on my desk.
“Hi,” she says with a hint of a smile.
At that, my heart begins to slow from the nervous, rapid pace it’s been beating against the inside of my chest. I walk over to myside of the desk and take a seat in my chair, trying to ignore the way her perfume wafts toward me, sure to linger far after she’s gone. I welcome it.
“Busy morning?” she asks.
“You could say that,” I say, thinking over the delicate, yet complicated meeting I just had. It was longer than I anticipated, and judging by how Erica’s sitting here, she must have been waiting awhile. I’d feel bad, if the meeting weren’t so pressing.
She looks down at her hands nervously, as if not sure what to say next. I’m not sure either, so we sit in silence for a few moments. She came to see me, so I’ll be patient in waiting to hear what she has to say. I don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing and have her walking out of here. I’m tired of seeing her leave.
Ever since I saw her last night after my somewhat drunken mental breakdown, I realize how important she is to me. How important Josie is to me. I don’t want to lose either of them. I wonder if I already have, after seeing her with that stranger last night in the fancy restaurant. I can’t erase the image of Josie asleep on his shoulder from my mind. I didn’t even see his face, yet I keep imagining who he is and coming up with scenarios in my head. None of them turn out well for me.
Which is why I decided to call up the florist early this morning to pick up a large bouquet of roses, even more extravagant than the last. Though Erica had ignored the prior, I thought maybe this time if they were accompanied by a handwritten note, thenmaybe it would be enough for her to simply see me. It seems to have worked because she’s here now.
She’s still looking down at her hands, her fingers slowly tangling around each other, giving me time for my eyes to wander over her. She’s as beautiful as ever, and my heart feels like it’s in her hands. Somehow, I miss her even though she’s just a few feet away. I could reach over this desk and touch her, but I can’t. It’s cruel how little I’ve been able to touch her in the time I’ve known her. Each time left me selfishly wanting more.
I wonder if the man from the restaurant has felt the places my hands have eagerly explored. I hate the thought as soon as it enters my mind, leaving my stomach turning. My eyes run over the bare skin of her collarbone to her neck, as if looking for any evidence he might have left behind. I shake my head, knowing how ridiculous I’m being.
“Thank you for the flowers,” she says finally. “They’re beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them,” I say with a nod.
“And the note…” she says, her voice drifting off and I wonder if she’ll regain control of it, but she’s still looking down at her hands. I desperately want her to continue with her thought, but she doesn’t.
“I know you don’t want me a part of her life…I just…” I look down at my own hands and shake my head. “I just don’t know how I’d be able to stay away now that I know she exists.”
“Marco…” she says, gently interrupting.
I look up to see her green eyes looking back at me, a dark forest green. I could get lost in them, never emerging from the pine trees that grow within them.
“I had dinner with my brother last night,” she says.
I don’t know where she’s going with this, but I do know the flood of relief I feel knowing that it wasn’t a date she was on at that restaurant. Josie was asleep on her uncle.That’swhy she was so comfortable, not because she had grown used to someone else who unknowingly took my place. I let out a long, quiet breath through my lips, trying to focus on anything else but the celebration going on inside my head.
“We got to talking about everything. Well, noteverything. He just helped me put things into perspective.” Erica shakes her head as if she’s trying to gather her thoughts. She sucks in a breath before letting it out, her cheeks puffing slightly with air. “Anyway, it isn’t fair to keep Josie all to myself.”
“Really?” I ask in surprise, not sure if I’m hearing her correctly. I’m scared to believe what she’s saying because it feels too good to be true.
Erica nods slowly, and I can feel she’s still uneasy about this. It hurts, but I’m happy in the direction we could be heading.
“I’ve been protective of her. Maybe to a fault. I don’t know how to be anything else.”