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My hand is still cradling her face. I want to kiss her. She hasn’t stopped me yet, but she also hasn’t said anything. I look at her, hoping to see some sort of invitation in her eyes. They fall to my lips and a small smile spreads across her perfect mouth. I know she wants it too. I lean in, but she stops me. I look down at herconfused, slowly taking my hand away from the soft skin of her face. Maybe I’m reading her wrong.
“I want all of that, too,” she says softly. “But…”
I brace myself, holding my breath for what she’s about to say next.
“I want my family to know. I want them to know everything.”
Her words surprise me, landing on my ears like music notes creating the perfect song. It doesn’t feel real.
“I’m tired of the secrets,” she continues. “They’ve only made my life harder. I’m so sorry I ever kept everything from you.”
“It’s okay…” I start, but she holds her hand up to let me know she’s not done.
“It’s not okay. I hurt you. I kept this beautiful baby from you, and you had every right to know her.”
I can see the pain and regret in her eyes as she speaks, and I wish I could take it all away.
“But I want you to know her. Every part of her. I want you to be in her life. Inmylife. And I want everyone to know it.”
I let out a quiet laugh of relief, shaking my head like I can’t believe what she’s saying to me. She scooches closer to me onthe couch and looks at me intently before pressing her forehead against mine. Her words fall against my face in gentle whispers.
I look down at her eyes, expectant and demanding at the same time. I take her face in my hands and give her what she wants. WhatI want. I press my lips against hers, and in some ways, it feels like our first kiss, like we are starting over. But in other ways it feels like we’ve loved each other all our days.
Her hands find their way to the back of my head, her fingers wrapping in my hair as she breathes deep, taking me in. It feels like we are one, and I never want to come up for air. I love her. I love this woman. Every fiber of my being loves her.
After several moments, I pull away and look at her. Her beauty takes me aback. I run my hands down the sides of her face, gently brushing her dark hair back as I look at every beautiful centimeter of her face.
“I love you,” she whispers, and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to hear. Three little words. They just changed my life.
She goes in for another kiss before pulling away. Her eyes find mine, alive and searching mine before she says, “I love you so much that I can’t keep it a secret. It’s too big to hold in. Too big to hide. Too special to not let the world know.”
My eyes burn with tears and I go in for another kiss. Several kisses. One after the other.
“I love you so damn much,” I tell her between frantic kisses.
It almost feels like this moment isn’t real. It feels too good to be true, and I realize I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. Before Erica came back into my life. Before I found out about Josie. Because I fell in love with her the night I met her, and I have no intention of losing her again. Not when I just got everything I wanted, and there’s more to come.
When we finally come up for air, Erica leans her forehead against my chest and I wonder if she can feel how quickly it’s beating. I hold her against me.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispers.
“Believe it,” I whisper in her hair.
We stay like that, me holding her against me for a while, and I feel my heart begin to slow to a normal pace. This is my life right here. My life for always. I think Erica will always make my heart skip a beat, but my heart is content right here with her.
I hear the locks on the door of her apartment begin to click, and she slowly pulls her head from my chest as we look down the hallway. The door opens and Troy walks in, looking around warily, as he pushes the stroller in front of him. He sees us on the couch and bites back a smile.
“I should get going,” he says casually, like he hasn’t just walked in on something. “My family is probably wondering where I am. I fed her some mac n’ cheese, by the way, so don’t worry about dinner.”
Erica nods and pulls herself from the couch, grabbing my hand. It’s such a small gesture, but in front of her brother it means everything. I hold her hand as she leads me to where Troy is unbuckling Josie from her stroller. He scoops her up and looks between Erica and me, like he’s unsure of who to hand her to. But his eyes settle on me, and to my surprise, he hands her to me.
She wraps her arms around my neck and in all the times I’ve held her, this feels the most significant. I’m her father. I get to be in her life. She gets to have the family she deserves. I kiss her on the cheek, hoping it gives me time to blink back the tears forming behind my eyes.
Troy nods at me reassuringly, and without saying anything, I know he knows who I am.
“It was nice to meet you, Marco,” he says with a nod.
He turns to give Erica a hug, and she grips him tightly, like a silent thank-you. I’m so happy she can finally feel this weight off her shoulders. She’s free from the secrets and lies been holding onto. This is as big a moment for her as it is for me, and it makes me love her even more deeply.