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stassi

I took a deep breath and held onto the sideboards. This was the first time I’d put my skates on. I’d gone through years of therapy, but nothing felt more therapeutic than this moment right here.

So much about the ice felt like home. It was such a nostalgic feeling, but as I turned around, I realized my view of what home was had changed completely. Home wasn’t this ice. It was the man behind me—the one who loved me with all his heart.

He carefully skated so he was next to me. “Do you need a hand?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“I was so young when I skated, and like you, I was forced to do this. I was forced to have chemistry with my best friend. I was forced to spend days not eating so I’d be able to fit into my costumes before the events.

My mother told me when I was eighteen that I’d need to move to America, find myself a husband who made a lot of money because I was close to retirement, and then what?

No one ever educated me on what other careers I’d be able to do in order to support myself.

When I met Dimitri, I felt so fucking lost.”

I hesitated, hating speaking about this part of myself. “I was so sad, but I didn’t know I was depressed back then. I thought I had no choice, Alex. I thought Dimitri was the best option for a washed-up figure skater who came from Russia to the States.”

“But you were still competing at the time?”

“Yeah, but I had no money, and my funding had run out in Russia. I needed to get to the States, and I needed money here. Dimitri was presented to me as a guy I knew from growing up in the same country, on the rink together. It made sense to marry him. How could I have said no and disappointed my parents, who’d done so much for me? ”

He grabbed my hands. “You could always say no.”

I shook my head. “I was never raised with an understanding of what was acceptable or not in relationships. I just didn’t know, and it wasn’t until I was friends with you that I realized how being with someone shouldn’t be painful. It should be full of love.”

I let go of the boards and glided forward with one foot. I sucked in a breath, waiting for the worst to happen, but it didn’t. In fact, the other foot matched it, and I was moving forward. Alex was still holding my hand, but cold, wet tears fell onto my cheeks.

“Being in love with you was so easy, and I’ll never regret being your friend first, Alex. Because I needed that. No, I needed you when I was desperate to have someone show me what it was like to have a secure relationship. I needed the safety you gave me.”

Alex coughed next to me. “I think about that, too. I think we first needed the foundation of friendship...”

I closed my eyes, and as I moved forward, I realized Alex had let go of my hand. While he skated close behind, I was doing it all on my own. I was reclaiming the last thing that had been taken from me.

I turned and stopped. “I’m doing it,” I whispered. “I’m doing it... on my own.” Tears streamed down my cheeks.

“You’re doing it, malyshka.” Alex beamed.

I confidently moved forward, skating all by myself. As I went around a few more times, I noticed Alex leaning on the boards.

I stopped in front of him. “Not following me?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I can’t keep up,” he said.

I laughed and kept skating. I didn’t attempt any jumps—they were too nerve-racking for me—but I was skating. I was free.

Every glide, every turn, filled me with a mixture of emotions—joy, relief, defiance, and even a hint of sorrow. The ice beneath my skates felt like a symbol of my resilience.

The wind blew through my hair and chilled my face as I finally broke free from his shadows.

Tears mixed with joy and pain as the weight lifted, replaced by a lightness I hadn’t felt in years.

This moment was mine. I skated faster, emotions bubbling up, and for once, the good outweighed the bad. I was finally doing it.

I paused and then rushed over to Alex. He caught me in his arms, and I burst into joyous laughter.

“I did it,” I whispered.

He buried his nose into my hair. “You did it.”

I caressed his cheeks with my cold fingers, and he hovered his lips over mine.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I hungrily kissed him. “Thank you.”

I wanted to claim him. It was the last thing I needed to do to give everything up to him—mind, body, and spirit.

Alex was wearing a pair of jeans and a loose long-sleeve T-shirt. I was in a pair of black leggings and a lightweight sweater that I made myself.

It was only seven in the morning, the light was pouring in, and people would be here soon to open up public skate, but I needed Alex. I couldn’t wait.

I grabbed his jeans, undoing the button and pulling them down.

“What’re you doing, malyshka?” he asked cooly, but he didn’t stop me.

I was an expert on my skates. All those years I didn’t touch them felt like nothing. I could balance and hold myself still.

“I need you,” I demanded, not caring about the camera in the rink.

“Can we go to your studio? I can take you?—”

“No,” I responded, almost instinctively, as I pulled down his boxers along with his jeans. His hard cock made it clear he couldn’t wait either. “I want you right now.”

“Are you wet for me, malyshka?”

Yes. I was fucking soaked for him.

He lifted me, careful not to get the blade near him. I was on the boards, near the bleachers, where there was no glass. It was a perfect place for me to sit as he pulled down my leggings and underwear in one movement.

He dipped his finger into my pussy, and when he pulled out, his digit glistened with my desire.

“So fucking wet,” he murmured as he darted his tongue out and licked his finger clean.

“Fuck me. Fuck me fast and hard,” I cried as he adjusted so that he was between my legs.

“You like that, malyshka. You like watching my cock disappear into your entrance and slam into you?”

“Yes, baby. Yes.”

The corner of his lip tugged into a smirk, and in seconds, his cock was filling me up.

“Come inside me. Fill me up.”

Alex held onto my hips, and his deep eyes bored into mine as he thrust hard into me. I was holding my legs as far out to the sides as I could for fear of nicking him, but I didn’t care. I needed him.

“You want a baby, malyshka? Let me give it to you.”

Fuck. I was dripping at his words, imagining our children running around together. I was so turned on and desperate.

“Selena showed me how you like your clit rubbed, Anastasia,” Alex growled.

He brought his fingers to my sensitive nub, and he rubbed like Selena had done. I was lost. My legs went slack, and I didn’t care where I was or who might walk in.

“Give me more of your cock, baby,” I begged.

Alex obliged, keeping one hand thrumming my clit like it was the finest guitar string he was plucking and the other holding my hip so I didn’t fall backward.

I was grateful I was sitting on the boards because, with the way Alex continued to propel his hips, I knew I wasn’t going to last.

“I’m going to come,” I cried.

“Not yet,” Alex demanded.

He removed his fingers, threw the door to the benches open, and hobbled down to the rubberized mats below us. “Get on your knees on the mat. Stick your ass out. Hold onto the ice.”

I nodded, even though I didn’t understand what he was asking. But I got on my knees, letting the rubber pad any pain I might feel, stuck my ass up in the air, and let my hands glide onto the ice.

“Move your legs apart.” His cock pressed into me.

“Feel the ice under your hands while I come inside you. You’ll think of this place with this memory from now on, malyshka. There will be no more nightmares.”

With that, he shoved inside me again, and I wailed, arching my back from suddenly being so full. “Yes, baby. That feels so good,” I moaned.

He fucked me while I felt the cool ice beneath my fingertips. I would never think of the rink again with the pain in my knees. I’d always remember this, and for that, I was grateful for what Alex was doing... for me. It was always for me.

“Yes, Alex. You’re mine,” I cried.

“Say my name again.”

“Alex,” I panted.

He growled, and I clenched around him as the pressure built up. I was right there. I was so fucking close to coming.

“You’re mine,” he mumbled as hot ropes of cum spurted inside me, my orgasm following his.

I almost fell onto the ice, but Alex lifted me and held onto me bridal style as he hobbled into the locker room.

“I can’t have anyone see you naked, malyshka.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You let your teammate see me naked,” I laughed.

He chuckled. “Different circumstances.”

The locker room was a modest space with rows of wooden benches and metal lockers lining the walls. The air smelled faintly of disinfectant. The rubber floor was worn, but it reminded me so much of all the times I’d gotten ready before a competition.

He set me down on the bench, and I undid my skates. I pulled up my underwear first, then my leggings, which now had a small hole from the blade. I threw my sweater on over my bra and looked up to find him already dressed.

“Alex,” I mumbled. “Thank you for telling me about your mom and your fears. Thank you for sharing that piece of yourself with me.” Tears streamed down my cheeks once again.

“Thank you,” I said, wiping my wet lashes.

“Thank you for showing me that the ice wasn’t so scary.

I was able to conquer my fears because of you. ”

Alex dropped to his knees in front of me and grabbed my thighs. “No,” he whispered. “You were able to do all that because of you.”

“You were right there, right by my side like you’ve always been.” My voice dropped an octave. “Like you’ll always be.”

“Forever. You and Damien are mine, forever.”

“Thank you for replacing the pain and fear I once associated with this place, which had been home for so long, with love.” I hiccuped as the words I’d been holding in slipped off my tongue. It happened so naturally. “I love you,” I murmured.

His smile widened as he pulled me into him, and I fell against his chest. He held me tightly in an embrace.

“I love you so much, malyshka. I love you and Damien. You’re my family.”

I gave him a soft smile and let him hold me, inhaling deeply against his shoulder. Everything had changed. Everything was both the same and different. But this felt right.

We changed quickly and then held hands, my skating bag slung over my shoulder as we walked out the door.

“I’d like to come to your home game,” I said hesitantly, unsure of how he’d feel.

“Oh yeah?” He paused, looking down at me. “I’d love that.”

“I could make a jersey for Damien and me with your number on our backs. Number fifty-eight.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “You memorized my number? I thought you didn’t look me up.”

“I may have googled you after our first dinner... maybe.”

He chuckled at my confession. “To your studio?” he asked.

“You’ll come with me?” I asked, surprised.

“Of course.” He gave my hand a squeeze, and I looked out at the city.

Everything felt so different.

We stepped outside, the city still awakening around us.

The weight I normally carried, the burden of always being strong, felt lighter.

The familiar ache in my legs had dulled, replaced by a sense of liberation.

I had fought tirelessly to curate this life for Damien and me, but today was different because I didn’t have to do it alone.

As we walked hand in hand, I marveled at the journey that had brought us here. Sometimes, relinquishing a bit of independence didn’t mean losing control of my life’s narrative; it meant sharing it with someone who truly cared. Alex had always been the person who was helping me carry the load.

Alex glanced at me, his eyes brimming with warmth and understanding. “You okay?” he asked, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

I nodded, feeling a swell of gratitude. “Yeah, I’m more than okay. I’m really good.”

Love could take form in the most unlikely places, like my friendship with Alex. I learned that love could indeed spring from the weeds, emerging even in the most toxic situations. It flourished in quiet moments of support, shared laughter, and an unwavering belief in each other.

Relationships could start with friendship. They could manifest in many different forms, and I think that was why I cherished Alex so much—because we were friends first. That foundation gave us the strength to overcome anything.

“Let’s go make this life ours, malyshka.”