Page 57

stassi

Alex and I had spent the last twenty minutes in complete silence—not an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind that felt natural as we both came down from a high.

After checking my phone to confirm we hadn’t heard from Ledger, I was in the middle of the hotel room, grabbing a pair of shorts I remembered to pack at the last minute and slipping on one of Alex’s shirts that I’d stolen while he was in the bathroom.

Shuffling came from the bathroom before the door closed, and then Alex emerged, wrapped in a towel.

His body was a work of art, with so much definition in his broad chest that I wanted to trace the contours to memorize how they felt all over again.

He was such a contradiction—a thick, broad-shouldered man, yet the same guy who cried when Damien was born.

“Stole something?” He nodded to my shirt.

I sighed. “Yeah. Hope you don’t mind.”

He wouldn’t.

“I like you in my clothes.”

I walked over to him and grabbed onto the towel around his waist. “Alex,” I murmured.

“Mmm?” He pressed his nose to my cheek and inhaled.

“Thank you,” I said as he moved to nibble my earlobe. I leaned in to give his lips room to explore.

“For what?”

“Everything,” I muttered. “You gave me everything. I never would have been able to do that before, and tonight I realized that without you anchoring me there... You were exactly what I was waiting for, what I needed, just like you’d always been.”

I gripped the towel with both hands, feeling his length against my body. He was hard, but I didn’t need to feel him to see in his eyes how much he wanted me.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I...” He paused. “I think I’d been trying to chase a high for so long before I saw you again. The moment I saw you in the park, I knew you were going to be mine. This time, it was going to be forever.”

Something kept me from telling him I loved him, but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Maybe it was my fight-or-flight instinct, the awareness that everything was temporary.

Despite trusting him and feeling safe, despite him giving me everything I could’ve dreamed of, something inside me just. .. couldn’t allow me to say it.

“Tell me what you liked about tonight.” His tone was rough and gravelly.

I dropped his towel, watching as it pooled at his feet. “I liked the way you gave me the freedom to explore, to touch, to taste what I’ve always wanted.”

I trailed my fingers along his chest, and he brought his hand to my chin, tilting it up and bringing my gaze to his.

“I liked it, but I don’t know if I want it to be an everyday thing,” I confessed.

His shoulders relaxed as tension left his body.

“Was that something you were worried about?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “I...” He paused as I grasped his forearms. “I was worried you would want to leave me after all that. I was afraid that if I introduced you to that world, I wouldn’t be enough for you, and you’d leave me again.” His voice cracked on the last word.

I paused, holding his arms as he clutched me tightly. “Is that what you’re scared of?” I murmured into his chest.

He nodded.

I hesitated, feeling a mix of emotions. Of course he would think that.

I was always leaving him, always running away from the pain and the memories.

Everyone had left me at some point—my ex-husband, my career, my old life, and even my own body when Dimitri broke it.

I had become so used to the act of leaving that it felt like the only way to protect myself.

If I was the one who left first, then it wouldn’t be so painful. That’s why I kicked him out.

My breath hitched as I tried to find the words. His fear, his vulnerability, it was all laid bare before me, and I couldn’t ignore it. I wanted to reassure him, to make him understand that this time was different, but the words caught in my throat.

“I’m sorry,” I finally whispered, my voice barely audible. “I’ve always run because it’s easier than facing the pain. But I don’t want to run anymore.”

His grip tightened around me, as if holding on for dear life. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said, his voice breaking. “I want to be enough for you.”

I pressed my forehead against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “I’m scared,” I admitted. “Scared of being left behind, scared of not being enough. But I want to stay with you. I want to face it all, together.”

“Am I enough for you?” he asked, dipping his forehead.

For a moment, we stood there in silence.

“You’re more than enough for me,” he said solemnly.

The weight of his words was heavy in my heart. “If the chance ever arose again, would you be willing to go to another party like that with me?”

He smiled. “It would be a conversation we’d have together. If it’s something we both want consensually, then yes. I don’t want to turn into my parents though.”

“What do you mean?” I traced his jawline as I watched him swallow.

“I don’t want to end up like them. I want to be in a relationship with open communication. The lies, cheating, and going behind each other’s backs aren’t what I want.”

“I would always talk to you about it, but I can see why you’d be scared since I pushed you away instead of talking to you about what scared me in the hospital. The sexual freedom I felt was exactly what I think I’d been missing.”

If only I could find the final piece of the puzzle.

He tilted my chin. “Promise me.” His eyes pleaded along with his words.

“I promise,” I said, my voice firm with resolve. “I won’t leave. Not again. I’m not your father, and you’re not your mother.”

We embraced tightly and stood there, holding each other, letting the weight of our fears and promises sink in. It was a new beginning.

I spread kisses across his forehead as he snaked his arms around my back.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“I feel amazing, malyshka.” He met my gaze. “I need you and Damien in my life.”

“We need you.”

His mouth met mine, and we devoured each other.

“Malyshka,” Alex growled. “Tell me what you need right now.”

Him. I needed him in every way. I wanted to be tangled in his arms. I wanted to feel what it meant to love and be loved. I wanted a mess of our emotions all on the table for us to take.

“You,” I whispered breathlessly.

He backed up, and when he hit the bed, he sat. I followed him, our gazes locked. He spread his legs so I could stand between them as he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled me close to him.

“What do you need?” he asked.

“I need to make love to you, Alex. I need you?—”

His mouth met mine, but this time, it wasn’t in a frantic frenzy. It was slow and languid.

“I need you,” I repeated.

He stopped kissing me and traced a wisp of my hair that hung in my face, pushing it back with the other pieces past my shoulders. “I’ve always been here.”

He tugged the hem of his shirt, and I lifted my hands, allowing him to pull the shirt up, exposing my hard nipples. “So fucking beautiful.”

He trailed kisses down my neck until he got to my nipple, taking it in his mouth. Wrapping his tongue around it, he sucked my pebbled nub. I cried, throwing my head back. His hands roamed my body as I slipped out of my shorts.

“I need you inside me.”

I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I was so overcome with emotion. I wanted to bury myself inside him. I wanted our bodies to mold together. I wanted to feel all those things I had when I first met him.

“Get on,” he demanded.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he scooted us backward, propping himself against the large wooden headboard. “If you need stability, hold your hands above me.”

I realized what he was telling me to do. He wanted me on top of him. I was wet, still primed from earlier, and I gently lowered myself onto him.

“You’re mine,” he whispered as I moved slowly, letting his cock fill me up.

It was so much at first, and part of me wondered when I would finally get used to how thick and big he was.

“You’re mine,” I whispered back.

He groaned as if my words somehow gave him more pleasure than my body.

“Tell me that again,” he asked.

“What?” I said as I continued to make my descent onto him.

“Tell me I’m yours.”

A smile formed as I wrapped my hands around his neck. “You’re mine.”

Taking me by surprise, he thrust upward, making me jerk, but eventually, I settled into an even movement.

This time was different from earlier. We were two becoming one.

We were Alex and Anastasia together again.

It was as if time had never continued, and it had stayed still all those years ago.

My knees didn’t hurt. My body didn’t ache in places that it once did. My heart wasn’t broken.

But we were also so different. Because time had passed, and we were here together after all of it. Both of us had lived a million lifetimes before we’d gotten to this point. Yet we were back here again. Where Alex was my everything. He was my always.

“Alex,” I cried as I moved up and down, rocking my hips.

This was so much more than earlier. This fulfilled me. This cured me. This moment gave me the strength I needed to realize what that final piece was.

I rolled my head back as he slowly moved his hands along my hips, holding me. He stared up at me as I bounced on him, and I knew what I needed and how to get it. Tomorrow, I’d make sure I faced that final piece before I let him in fully.

“I love you, Anastasia,” he whispered as I held onto the headboard, letting him slam into me. “I love you.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’ll always be there for you. You’re my forever, always.”

One more thrust inside me, and I could feel him on the cusp.

I gripped the headboard tighter, slamming down onto him a few more times as my orgasm rolled in at the same time as his.

I collapsed onto him, grasping his shoulders.

The release of emotions exploded everywhere.

I fell onto him, and he grabbed me, pulling me onto the bed.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” he whispered so softly I barely heard it.

“Too tired,” I mumbled.

He chuckled and shuffled off the bed, but my eyes wouldn’t open. I was utterly defeated—emotionally and physically.

“Open. Let me clean you up.” A cool towel brushed the inside of my thighs, and I spread my knees.

“I feel like I did back when I was in the hospital.” I tried to joke.

“Look at what a beautiful life you’ve created since that day.”

I sighed, too tired to even speak as I let him clean me up. When he was done, he tucked in next to me, pulling me tight to his chest.

When I was nuzzled up to him, I whispered, “It is pretty beautiful, isn’t it?”

At my confession, I knew everything was going to change tomorrow.