Page 78 of When Ben Loved Jace

Once the water cools, I get out, put on some clothes, and move around the apartment, trying to engage in different activities. My thesis has been turned in. I’m finally free. This should be a goodday. And yet, I’m too burned out to read. Music depresses me, since way too many songs are about love. The television fails to hold my attention. I wish Allison was home. I don’t even know what’s going on with her lately. Has her dad found a house here yet? Does she have any solid plans after graduating? I’m a shitty friend. And a bad boyfriend.

I go to my bedroom, locate Aaron’s note, and take it to the living room. I reread it obsessively, convinced at times that I’m being an idiot, and at others that I’ve been terribly wronged. I wish I had an excuse to go to Jace’s trailer, just to be close to him, even though I know he isn’t home. I already sent Adrien a text, asking him to look after Samson until I figure out everything. He agreed without complaint. Because he’s getting what he wants? I don’t know anymore.

The front door to the apartment opens. Allison is back! I resist the urge to chase her down, knowing that I'll be unsufferable in my neediness. I give her space to arrive first. Even when she walks into the living room, I put on a hollow smile for her benefit and rise to give her a hug.

“You’ve returned to the land of the living!” she says.

“Yeah! I finally got the damn thing turned in.”

“Good job, Ben! You know what this means?”

“We did it.”

“No more formal education!” Allison sings while doing a little jig. “We have to celebrate!” She seems to remember everything I’ve been going through. “Although that can wait until after graduation. How are you doing?”

“Fine,” I say, not wanting to be a burden. “I miss you. Tell me what’s been going on.”

“Weeeell,” she says leadingly, as we sit on the couch while facing each other. “Remember that fine brother working the bar at the water park?”

“Yeah! Did you go on a date with him?”

“Yup! And guess what we have in common? Absolutely nothing. Even in the bedroom, but I gave him a few tries, because the boy is hung. I mean like…” She holds her hands out in demonstration.

“But he doesn’t know what to do with it?”

“Not a clue! And he’s not a fast learner either.”

I pump her for tawdry details. Allison enjoys casual flings more than I do, although at the moment, hooking up with someone sounds appealing to me. If only to fill the emptiness. In more than one way, I suppose. Maybe that would balance things out between me and Jace. He slept with Aaron. I’ll sleep with someone else. Then we’ll be on the same level and can move on.

“So how did things play out with that note?” Allison asks, no doubt reading my expression.

“I don’t know,” I say dismissively. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

She sees straight through this. “Uh-oh. What happened?”

I swallow, struggling to get the words out. “Jace and I are taking a break.”

The floodgates open. I tell her everything. Allison listens carefully, only interrupting on occasion to ask a question. At the end of it all, she leans back, confident when rendering her verdict.

“Tim is behind this.”

I stare in shock. Wasn’t she listening? “He doesn’t know where Jace lives! Or about the trailer! And even if he did—”

Allison raises her palm to cut me off. “Tim did this to you. I don’t know how exactly, but he found a way. Think about it, Ben.” She grabs the note off the coffee table. “Isn’t it all a little too convenient?”

“Not for me it isn’t.”

“Aaron acknowledges that he wasn’t supposed to stop by unannounced. So why did he leave a note? That isn’t exactly discreet.”

“Because it’s romantic. I leave notes for Jace, and most of the time, I’m there when he gets them since I drive him home from the airport! And besides, Aaron didn’t realize that I was in the picture.”

Allison shakes her head, unconvinced. “So he goes knocking on Adrien’s door instead of simply sending Jace a text message? Or better yet, calling him to see if he’ll be home soon?”

“Maybe he did. I don’t know.”

“If that’s the case, why didn’t Jace have a good cover story planned? He could have claimed they were friends or coworkers.”

“I didn’t give him the chance,” I say after trying to remember how the phone call went. “I mentioned the note right away.”