Page 128 of When Ben Loved Jace

“And?”

Tim gnaws his bottom lip before answering. “He apologized for everything and asked for another chance. I know you’ve only seen his bad side but—”

“Spare me the details,” I say in exasperation. “Listen, it’s your decision if you want to leave him or not. That’s none of my business. Or at least it shouldn’t be. But no matter what happens, you’ve gotta get him off my case. I’m friends with the theater owner, so he’s been very understanding about it all, but what if Ryan showed up at the hospital where I work? They won’t be as forgiving.”

Tim glances over at me, seeming impressed. “You work at the hospital?”

“Yes. I probably shouldn’t have told you that. For god’s sake, donotvisit me there for any reason! As harsh as it sounds, I need you to stay out of my life. I still care about you, Tim. Deeply. But I have to think about more than myself. What if Ryan had pulled a knife on Jace the other day and tried to hurt him?”

“I don’t think he’d do anything like that.”

“He already took a swipe at me! And did you ever imagine he’d pelt me with ice cream in the middle of a performance?”

“No.”

I swallow against an old familiar pain. “This is it, Tim. As much as I want to help you, I can’t while Ryan is still in your life. It’s too risky. We have to go our separate ways.”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out with a sigh. “You’re right. Sorry for dragging you into this, Benjamin.”

“You always did have a way of making things really complicated,” I tease before my tone becomes more serious. “You were worth it though. You’re hot, you’re talented, you’re a good person… There’s a reason I fell in love with you, Tim. Find someone who is actually worthy of your heart. Please. You deserve better.”

He presses his lips together before nodding. “I’ll try.”

The car does a U-turn at the next intersection. We’re on our way back. This is it. Our time together is limited. I wish I could hold his hand. Not because I’m tempted to choose him over Jace. I’ve moved past such things. I just want to comfort him. And myself. Despite all the pain we’ve put each other through, the love that we had together was life-changing. I’m going to miss him.

We’re halfway back to my car when Tim pulls out his phone to glance at it. Then he sighs while tapping the screen. I study his face and watch his eyes go wide. “Oh shit,” he says. “Oh shit!”

“What?”

He hands me the phone before taking a sharp right and flooring the gas pedal. “Ryan is having some friends over tonight. That’s why I put this off until today, because I knew he’d be busy.”

The text message seems innocent enough.Wish you were here. You’re missing out on all the fun!The photo accompanying it confuses me. Chinchilla is standing on a plastic inflatable raft, illuminated pool water surrounding her.

“Bulldogs can’t swim,” Tim says, manic eyes darting to the phone and away again. “Fuck! She doesn’t even have her life vest on!”

“Would he really let something happen to her?”

“I don’t know anymore. He’s probably only trying to get a rise out of me but… What if she slips? Or tries jumping out on her own? God damn it, Ryan! If the little shit isn’t drunk, he’s high. I never should have left her with him!”

Tim blows through a red light.

“Um…”

He glances over at me. “Crap. Want me to drop you off? You’d have to catch a ride back to your car. I’ll reimburse you.”

“No, it’s fine. Keep going.”

I don’t want to delay him, even briefly. If something did happen to Chinchilla, I’d always wonder if that extra minute would have made the difference. Although…

“Slow down a little,” I add. “If you get pulled over, or we get into an accident, it’ll take even longer to get there.”

Tim clenches his jaw before nodding. “All right.”

The scenery outside is still whizzing by, but he actually stops at the next red light, his knee bouncing impatiently.

“Where do you live these days?” I ask.

“Same place.”