Page 130 of When Ben Loved Jace

I hear a cry of anguish and look over just in time to see Ryan fall to his knees. He must have witnessed exactly what I felt—that there’s no touching what we have together. With one exception, but I can’t think about him right now. I have to stay strong and see this through.

“Please!” Ryan whines.

“Not a chance in hell!” Tim says, turning to face him. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s exactly where you can go.”

Ryan brings his hands together. “I’m begging you!”

Tim scowls and shakes his head.

“Fine.” Ryan’s angelic features harden as he pushes himself to his feet. “Have it your way. You know what I’m going to do. When they find my dead body, there will be a note in my pocket telling everyone whose fault it is!”

“Don’t,” Tim says, his tone softening. “I can’t stop you, but please don’t. Go to rehab instead. Get your life together. I’ll pay for it. But I won’t let you hold me hostage anymore. We don’t make each other happy. We’re a toxic combination. So I either hurt you by letting you stay with me, or I hurt you by saying goodbye. At least this way, you have a chance of being happy. But only if you don’t kill yourself.”

“Easy for you to say!” Ryan snaps. “What do I have? Nothing!”

“You can go to rehab,” Tim repeats. “You’ll have a roof over your head, three square meals a day, and people who can help.”

“Fuck you!”

Tim shrugs. “The offer stands. We can talk about it while I help you pack. As for the rest of you…” He glances around. “It’s time to leave.”

Nobody moves.

Tim’s chest swells. “Get the fuck out my house!” he bellows.

That does the trick. They begin to scatter, some having to rouse the others. I step out back with Chinchilla. Tim will have to handle the rest on his own. I can’t always be there to hold his hand. Besides, I have my own crisis to deal with. Not one of the heart. My love for Tim is no revelation. I just need to figure out how I’m going to explain this to Jace, because he deserves to know the truth. Yes, I could simply claim that it was all a calculated move to scare Ryan off. And it was. But there’s a reason the ploy was so effective.

I stretch out on the grass and stare at the stars, Chinchilla settling down next to me, although her attention remains fixed on the house. I’m not sure how much time passes. When she stands and rushes off, I sit up again. Tim walks over, escorted by a delighted dog, and offers me his hand.

“Thank you,” he says, after pulling me to my feet. “For what you did in there. That kiss… It gave me the courage I needed, because I’d almost forgotten how good it can feel when you really… Well, you know.”

“I do,” I say before gnawing my bottom lip.

“Are you going to be in trouble?”

“Probably. Just promise to make it worth my while. Is he gone now?”

Tim sighs. “Yeah. I sent Ryan to the rehab clinic in a taxi. I’d be surprised if he actually checks in. Or stays long enough even if he does.”

“That isn’t your problem now.”

“Thank goodness.” He exhales, as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, although a crinkle of concern still remains on his brow. “I need to get Chinchilla fed and straighten the place up a little.”

“I’d offer to help, but I amnotcleaning up after yet another party I didn’t attend. Besides, something tells me you can afford a maid.”

He laughs. “For real. I just wanna make sure there isn’t anything that can make Chinchilla sick.”

“Now that’s something I’m willing to do.”

He glances toward the house before searching my face. “Do you wanna stay the night?”

“Tim!”

“Not like that,” he says, raising his palms. “I just don’t want to be alone. You can invite Jace over.”

“He’s out of town.”

“Oh. In that case, do you wanna have sex?”