Page 144 of When Ben Loved Jace

“They’re here! I’ll be right back. I have to unlock the door.”

“Ben…”

Hope explodes into my heart. “You’re doing great! Just hold on.”

I slip out from beneath him again and gently rest his head on the kitchen floor. Then I sprint to the front door, flinging it open so I can run out into the street and wave down the ambulance. Even that seems to take forever. The paramedics have questions. I just want them to rush inside and see for themselves, but I answer as best as I can as they gather up equipment. I follow them into the house.

They kneel to poke and prod at my husband.

“Can you hear me, sir? We need you to respond.”

“Jace!” I cry out.

He mumbles incoherently.

They stick something into his mouth. Jace coughs before trying to swat away one of the paramedics.

“Reflexes present,” one man says.

“GSC nine,” the other replies.

They place an oxygen mask over his mouth, attach something to his finger, insert an IV… The blur of activity is a nightmare on fast-forward. I feel powerless and horrified as Jace is wired up like some sort of science experiment, but at this point, I don’t care what they do as long as it saves him, because I can’t… I won’t! A world without him isn’t worth living in. Rattling snaps me back to the present. I step aside to make room for the gurney, which I follow outside while wishing I could hold his hand, but I don’t want to risk getting in the way. Jace surviving is all that matters.

“Can I go with you?” I ask after he’s loaded into the ambulance.

The paramedic looks me over. “You’ve gotta stay calm.”

“I will!” I promise.

He nods. “Get buckled up. Don’t touch anything. If we need to work, give us plenty of room.”

I hastily slide onto a bench inside the ambulance so we can be on our way. I’m crammed into the corner, making myself as small as possible. I even hold my tongue until the paramedic in back with me doesn’t seem preoccupied.

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?” I squeak.

The man glances at me and shrugs, his attention returning to Jace, who looks pale and weak beneath an eerie green light. I’ve given up on getting an answer when I hear the paramedic quietly say, “Probably an aneurysm.”

A dozen more questions spring to mind. Only one of them matters.

“Will he be okay?”

“We’ll do our best,” the man replies.

I leave him to his work. I don’t want to be a distraction. I need Jace to bounce back from this. More than anything I’ve ever needed in my entire life.

The trip to the hospital is mercifully short. I rush alongside the gurney as it’s wheeled into the emergency room. A nursesteps in front of my path and places a gentle hand on my shoulder to stop me. “This way please,” she says. “I need your help to get him registered.”

I watch as Jace is wheeled down a hallway, separating us, my throat constricting as I wonder if I'll ever see him again.

Chapter Thirty-five

In the waiting room, the minutes tick by, each an eternity. By some miracle, I had the foresight to bring my phone with me. I start to research aneurysms, which only deepens my despair, so I call for a different kind of help. Allison is the first to arrive. I cling to her for strength.

“Jace is going to be okay,” she assures me. “He’ll pull through this. For you.”

I nod while wiping my eyes, wanting to believe her.

Allison looks me over. “Couldn’t he have waited untilafteryou had gotten dressed for the day?”