Page 77 of When Ben Loved Jace

“Wait! Are you going to break up with him?”

My brow knots up. “What do you care?”

“I’m… still interested.”

“Go fuck yourself!”

I hang up the phone, my indignation returning in full force. I don’t deserve this! If Jace wanted to make out with Adrien and get groped by him, then fine. That would be a little more fair. An eye for an eye. Having an all-night fuck fest with some little shit? No way. I amnotcool with this!

My phone vibrates again. I hope that it’s Aaron so I can give him a piece of my mind. But no. Jace is calling me back.

“Yeah?” I say when answering.

He picks up on my tone, launching right into his defense. “I know what I have and haven’t done,” he says. “and I trust Adrien, so there’s only one explanation: Tim is trying to play us against each other.”

“I talked to Aaron,” I say.

“What?”

Jace sounds surprised. I guess he didn’t think I’d go that far.

“Yeah. He told me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell because I didn’t sleep with him!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then maybe we should take a break.”

The breath leaves my lungs. I didn’t expect this. “Why? So you can be with him?”

“So you can do what needs to be done,” Jace says, his voice weary. “I’ve been there.”

“What do you mean?”

All I hear is silence. Even in the background. He must have found somewhere private to have this conversation.

“Jace?”

“Just promise to finish your thesis and get it turned in on time, okay?”

“That’swhat you’re worried about?”

“Yeah!” he shoots back. “Because I actually want what’s best for you! Remember that. After all this is over… Come find me, Ben, because I do love you.”

“I love you too,” I croak.

“Good luck.”

He hangs up.

I stare at my phone in disbelief. Then I begin to weep.

ChapterEighteen

I do finish my thesis, if only because I need something to escape into. I’m so exhausted after turning it in that I crash, my dreams mercifully elusive. When I finally wake, I lay there in puzzlement until events of the previous day—or whenever—come rushing back to me, anxiety and grief accompanying the memories. I wallow in despair until my growling stomach forces me from bed. I honestly can’t remember the last time I ate anything.

I trudge to the kitchen, see that it’s past noon, and sit at the kitchen table while morosely consuming a bowl of cereal. I take a bath next, wanting to soak away the pain. Is it really over? Jace and I are taking a break, but does that mean we’ve broken up? I can’t believe he cheated on me! Did I deserve that? He told me to come find him when it’s all over. And that he loves me.