Page 158 of When Ben Loved Jace

“And you waited this long to tell me?”

“I wanted one more night of debauchery before I officially enter into chaste motherhood.” She presses her palms together and bows her head, as if praying.

“I’m so excited,” I say while giving her a hug. “You’re going to name the baby after me, of course.”

She makes a face. “What if it’s a girl?”

“Then you can call her Allison Junior. It’s ridiculous that only guys have that option. Come to think of it, if you have a boy, go with Ben Junior instead. Think what a scandal that would cause!”

“I’ll run both ideas by Brian,” Allison says. “We both have the right to veto. Thankfully.”

We’re still talking about her big news by the time we leave the bar. I’m puzzled when she heads the wrong way down the sidewalk. “One more stop,” she says. “On the way back to the car.”

I shrug and follow her. The weather is beautiful. So is she. I’m so excited that she’s going to be a mom!

Allison stops in front of a glowing window. “Have you given any thought to adding another member to your little family?”

I blink in confusion. “You mean by adopting a second cat?”

“Or you could find someone to spend the rest of your life with.”

I shake my head. This isn’t the first time Allison has broached the subject. She always does so delicately, my answer much more direct. “I’m not interested.”

“Not in the slightest? You’ve got decades ahead of you, Ben. Wouldn’t it be nice to share them with someone?”

“In theory, sure, but that doesn’t mean—” The display through the window catches my eye. A large painting features rainbow prisms of light. His signature style. We’re standing in front of a gallery. People are coming and going from the nearby door, despite the late hour. There must be a special exhibition. My attention moves back to Allison. Her expression is pleading with me to be reasonable.

“I can’t,” I croak, taking a step back and shaking my head. “Not after Jace. I justcan’t.”

“I understand that you don’t want to meet someone new.” Allison’s tone is sympathetic. “But this is different. You already love Tim. I’m not asking you to start over. Only to keep going.”

I think of all the heartbreak we put each other through. And the invisible force that always brought us back together again.

“I’m sure he’s found someone new by now.”

Allison shakes her head. “Nothing that lasted.”

“Wait, have youtalkedto him?”

She nods.

“Does he know that I’m here?”

“No. Only that I was going to suggest you stop by. He wants to see you, Ben.”

I still want Jace.

My chin quivers. “I’m not the same person anymore.”

“Maybe he isn’t either,” she says gently. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Allison offers her hand. I take it and allow myself to be led into a place of hope, a familiar feeling stirring inside my heart.

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