Page 65 of When Ben Loved Jace

“I messed up!”

She sees my expression and walks with me to the cabana bar.

“Let’s hear it,” she says after batting her eyelashes at the bartender.

“Tim kissed me.”

“Uh huh. It takes two to tango.”

“I know… It’s actually worse than that. Jace caught us so…” My voice squeaks to a halt. “I ruined everything.”

“Obviously not,” Allison says, nodding over my shoulder. “He’s still standing there, waiting for you.” She takes me by the shoulders and spins me around. “Time for my little bird to leave the nest. You need to be alone with Jace to make this good. I’ll find my own way home.”

“But—”

“I’ll have another glass of champagne, hot stuff,” Allison says while giving me a push.

I stumble forward. When I glance back, she’s draped across the bar flirtatiously. Or drunkenly. Take your pick.

“She’ll catch a ride with someone else,” I tell Jace.

“Fine.”

I follow him to the parking lot, the desolate scenery making me feel foolish for getting caught up in… whatever that was. A relapse, I suppose. I slump in the passenger seat, and on the drive home, try to find the right words to make him forgive me, but the situation is just too damning. Sure, maybe I didn’t kiss Tim back, but I also didn’t push him away. Not until Jace arrived on the scene. If he hadn’t… I would have kissed Tim. I can’t deny that.

“I had a close call,” Jace says quietly. “About a month back.”

I sit up straight to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“With a passenger. A lot of people claim to be scared of flying, but occasionally, you get someone who truly is. As in, they have a full-blown panic attack. So yeah, I had a passenger like that, a first-time flier, and he was… my type.”

I press my lips together, almost not wanting to know, but this might be my only hope. “Describe him to me.”

“Skinny… Bleached white hair… He had a bunch of piercings and enough of a punky vibe to remind me of Victor. I volunteered to sit with him. He grabbed my hand. Really clenched it tight for the whole flight, which wasn’t long, thankfully. I tried to take his mind off the subject by talking to him about other things. I learned that he’s a drummer in a band, and that he had just broken up with his boyfriend.”

My stomach sinks. I thought this was going to be a simple story about how it’s normal to find other people attractive. But maybe not.

“He asked me a lot of questions too. So I told him about myself. But not everything.” Jace glances over at me apologetically. “I don’t know why I didn’t mention you. I guess because sometimes it feels good to pretend that…” He swallows and shakes his head. “After we landed, he asked if we could meet for a drink. I liked him. It wasn’t just physical. So I agreed, and we had a few together that night at the hotel bar where he was staying. He invited me up to his room and I went with him…”

“Jace,” I croak, well aware that the pain I feel is the same as what I just put him through.

“Nothing happened. I couldn’t do it. He tried to kiss me. I was more successful at preventing the attempt,” he grumbles. “But I thought later, if it really had been Victor, that maybe I wouldn’t have been so strong. I already failed in that regard once before. So like I said… I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, as if not finished. “You need to decide, Ben. I’m not into open relationships or whatever scheme Tim was hatching. I don’t want to share you with anyone. That having been said, we need to trust each other. I’m still going to be out of town a lot. There will always be temptation, for us both. Ask yourself if you can really be Tim’s friend and nothing more. If so, I’ll accept that at face value. If not… You need to decide what to do. Think about it.”

“I want to be with you,” I say, taking his hand before leaning close to wrap myself around his arm. “I don’t need to think about that.”

“Good,” Jace says, the tension leaving him. “Because I still want to be with you.”

He doesn’t ask me about Tim again. Not during the rest of the drive home nor the rest of the day. That’s up to me, and I already know that it won’t be an easy decision to make.

Chapter Fifteen

“You’re in big trouble, young man.”

Adrien’s voice stops me short, my hand on the door to Jace’s trailer. Work called, so he’s back in the skies for a couple of days, but when he gets back into town, we’ll have an entire week together. The opposite of what I’m used to. I’m here to check on Samson, which I was trying to do stealthily, because I’ve been dreading moments like these. I hurt Jace. His friends won’t like that. Neither do I.