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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I do my best not to whoop, flip the table, gather her in my arms, and have my way with her when she utters those three words. While I have wanted her forgiveness, I know in granting it, she’d also be allowing herself to move forward with me. She was so standoffish at first, for good reason, but now, all I see is the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. Sure, time has passed, she has changed and so I have, but no matter what, the fire between us burns bright and hot.

A fire that has never gone out.

She does a little wiggle as she eats from the second round of plates on the table. Everything has been so good, but not as good as the company before me. A blissful look takes over her face as she tries and devours everything on the table. As I watch her, I feel my chest ache, and my hands itch to touch her. I want to pull her into my lap and feed her. I want all her little sounds of pleasure and wiggles for myself alone.

She asked why I hadn’t kissed her, and I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t know that I could stop. I want her so desperately, but I don’t want her to think this is only about sex.

I want all of her.

I want a life with her.

I want to raise Arwen but also give her little brothers and sisters.

I want to make Audrina happier than she could ever imagine.

I tap the table, out of habit, to get her attention, and when she looks up, those doe eyes locking with mine, heat explodes in my balls. She’s so fucking beautiful and all mine. “I want your forgiveness, Audrina. That day is something I’ll always think of as one of my biggest regrets. And let’s be honest, I have a lot of regrets since I have a habit of passing the puck when I should shoot.”

She snorts at that, shaking her head. “You haven’t lately.”

My body burns, knowing she’s watched me play. “No, because I’m taking what I want.” She pulls her lip between her teeth, and I admit, “I didn’t plan all this for you to forgive me.”

She arches a brow. “I never said you did.”

God, I love her mouth. “I know. I don’t want you to think that since I fucked up, I felt I had to make up for it. That isn’t what I am doing.” Am I even making sense? I don’t know, but I’m lost in her eyes, and I feel like my heart is speaking, not my brain. “I did this to make you see that you’re worth my time, my effort, my love. I’ll do anything to make you smile, dushen’ka .” On cue, her beautiful mouth spreads into the most stunning smile. “I know I’ll fuck up, and I’ll be the first to apologize—I promise—but I don’t want to be one of those couples where I have to make up for my fuckups to remind you how I feel about you. Am I making sense?”

“I think so,” she says softly, her brows furrowed so deep I could put a finger in the crease. I don’t, and I also feel like I’m not making a lick of sense.

Finally, I blurt out like a fool, “I don’t want to be like the tragic love songs where I’m always doing things like this to apologize. I want to do these things just because, so that you never have to question how I feel ever again. Which might be one and the same, but damn, Audrina, I don’t know. I just want you never to forget how I feel about you.”

Her mouth parts slightly as she holds my gaze. “And how is that?”

I quirk my lips at her. “You don’t know?”

She shakes her head, but I can see the mischief in her eyes. She knows damn well how I feel, but she wants me to say it. That’s fine. I can do that. I can fucking show her.

I push my chair back, standing and buttoning my jacket with one hand. She traces my movements as the heat in her eyes makes need course from my brain to my toes, stopping in the middle to make my cock thicken. I come around the small table, but I don’t reach for her. Instead, I take out my phone, but I make a face when I notice my dad has texted me.

“The house is empty for our privacy,” I tell her, and her brows shoot up while a flush joins the party of her freckles. “That’s what my dad just texted me. He also added a lot of hearts and eggplants and a water emoji in a second text, which makes me want to gag.”

Her laughter is loud and comes from her gut as she stands, looking at my phone. Her rosemary and mint scent hits me, and I’m no longer looking at the phone, but her. I want to nuzzle my nose in her hair and just live my days right there. Her question stops me, “Should we be weirded out that he gave us space to make eggplants, water, and heart emojis in?”

I shrug as I chuckle. “We did make a pretty gorgeous kid.”

Her eyes meet mine, a coy smile covering those red lips. “We did.”

More heat flows through me, but I ignore it to do what I’d planned before I saw the text. I hit the song I had ready to play, and Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me” fills the space between us. Audrina’s breath catches before I take her hand in mine.

“We were…”

“Twenty,” she answers for me. “It was right after we moved here.”

“Yup, but we flew to Nashville to watch him perform at the Ryman.”

Her eyes are dancing with excitement. “I knew you wanted to kiss me that night. I knew I wasn’t making it up.”

My voice is full of humor as I agree with her. “I’ve never seen you so uninhibited. You sang so loudly, so freely, and when he started this song and you started crying, I was a goner.”

“It was the first time you held me like that.” My brows perk at that. “From behind, your arms around my shoulders. I felt every bit of your body, and it was so hard to pay attention. Then you leaned in, your face at my neck, and all I wanted was to turn my lips toward yours.”

“I might have kissed you,” I say, and she scoffs.

“No, you wouldn’t have.”

I flash her a sheepish look. “I wouldn’t have. The thought of losing the most gorgeous girl in the world freaked me out too much.”

Her eyes are cloudy with tears as I bring her hand to my lips, sucking her knuckles softly before I kiss them. I meet her gaze as I wrap her arm around my neck, then take her other to do the same. Her eyes are wide with passion and set on me as I take hold of her hips to bring her body to mine as the music flows around us. Once we’re pressed together, no space or air between us, she lets out the softest of little moans.

My cock likes that sound a whole lot and throbs against her belly. I would tell him to behave, but I’m caught in her eyes as I wrap my arms tighter around her, my crossed wrists resting against her sweet, juicy ass. I lean in, pressing my forehead to hers, and when our noses touch, she closes her eyes as a soft sigh leaves her lips.

“Uh-uh, dushen’ka , eyes on me.” Her eyes spring open, looking up at me through her thick lashes as her lips curve in a vixenish way. “You asked me a question.”

She nods. “I did.”

“You remember when we went through our Grey’s Anatomy phase with our moms?” It was a long summer, and while I absolutely loathe the show, I enjoyed the togetherness it provided us. Plus, I liked laughing and teasing them when they cried.

She gives me a skeptical look as her fingers play with the curls at my neck. “Not sure where this is going, but yes.”

I grin. “Stay with me,” I plead. “I totally dumped that show ’cause it’s trash, but I remember how toxic the love was between McDumpFace and Meredith.”

“I am so offended right now,” she wheezes, pulling my hair gently. “McDreamy.”

I laugh as I nod. “Yeah, him. And your mom told us that love should never be painful, but I don’t believe that.”

“I think she meant in an abusive way.”

“Sure, but I think sometimes pain is needed in love.” Her brows draw together, and I know I’ve gotta get this out before I can’t. “You walked away, and I had never felt such agony, such emptiness, fear, and anger from not being with you. But I’d go through all that again just to have this moment when you’re in my arms, looking at me with those hazel eyes of yours, and knowing, without a doubt, you are mine.”

Her eyes instantly blur with tears, but her lips curve ever so defiantly. “That’s presumptuous of you, Thatcher Orlov.”

I grin, my body vibrating for this woman. “I am well aware, Mrs. Orlov, but tell me I’m wrong.”

She slides her nose along mine, her eyes boring into mine, and tells me without words what I already know. “You’re not.”

“Told you,” I tell her, gliding one of my hands up her back to her neck, where I hold her tightly to me. Her lips curve in response, but before I take them with mine, I need her to know one thing.

“Just as I know I am insanely, wholeheartedly in love with you. I always have been, and I always will be.”

A tear escapes, trailing down her cheek, and her hand comes around to cup my jaw. With a sneaky grin, she asks, “Was that so hard?”

“Not even a little bit.” My face breaks into a grin as I tell her, “Try it.”

Her eyes flare as she traces my bottom lip with her thumb. Her gaze searches mine, the blue, green, and light brown of her eyes sparkling like the diamonds in her ears before she whispers the words I’ve wanted to hear from her mouth since I learned what love was. “I love you, Thatcher.”

I don’t think I even take a breath before I crash my mouth to hers. Her body molds to mine as I slide my hand up into her hair to hold her right where I want her, right where I can devour her mouth like I’ve been begging to do since I saw her in that damn diner. Her lips are plump, warm, and fuck, it feels so fucking right. I run my tongue along her lips, and when she opens for me, I practically growl into her mouth. She captures it, giving me a soft, needy moan that has me snaking my hand down to her ass to squeeze her left cheek hard, arching my hips into her belly so she can feel how desperately I want her.

Fuck me, I want to devour her, but I don’t want her thinking this is only about sex.

Remembering I’m playing the long game, I tear my mouth from hers, and when she whimpers, I almost say fuck my long game and take her on the table. She looks at me with pure fire in her eyes, her lips swollen, with gloss all over her mouth and probably mine. I’m lost in her eyes as her fingers go back to playing with the curls at my neck. She chews on the inside of her cheek, and I want to do the same. Her eyes flash with playfulness as she murmurs, “Check, please.”

I grin. “I already paid.”

“Then get the car. It’s time to go.”

“Are you not hungry anymore? We have three more rounds of plates.”

Her grin is pure sex as she licks her lips. “Oh Thatty, I’m hungry, but not for food.” She grasps me through my slacks, palming my cock, and my head falls back of its own accord. Her hand is warm, and she holds me as if she wants to do nothing on this earth but raise my kid and hold my cock.

Not at the same time.

Her tongue trails up my neck, and against it, she whispers, “Let’s go.”

This isn’t supposed to be about sex.

It’s about how much I love her.

I can show her that with sex, right?

Why am I overthinking this?

Because, dumbass, long game.

Yes. Long game.