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CHAPTER SEVEN

A s I stare into the eyes of the girl I have known my whole life and loved just as long, I’m knocked back more than three years ago.

“Thatty, it isn’t ? —”

I don’t want to hear my nickname on her lips. I don’t want to hear anything from her. How dare she? I know we didn’t hash things out, but I gave her my whole-ass soul last night. Out of my mind with jealousy and fury, I snap, “And your ass better not be pregnant. If so, you better have proof it’s mine since you love to whore yourself around to the whole fucking team. I’ll need cold hard evidence it’s mine.”

I still remember how she whipped her head back as if I’d hit her, and shit, I might as well have. I know why she left me. I know what I said hurt her, but I was hurt and I was lashing out. It’s not an excuse, and I owe her the biggest apology imaginable, but damn it, why did she allow that one fight to keep us apart? To keep me from being there for her and my daughter?

I want to yell. I want to scream at her and demand she give me answers. Tears stream down her cheeks, and I see nothing but remorse and pain on her face. Audrina isn’t a vindictive person; she hid because she was scared. Of me. And I wasn’t there to help her. As much as I want to go off on her, I can’t. I have to tread lightly, or this could blow up in my face.

It’s not about us anymore. It’s about the baby. I have to get her home safe and sound. It’s the least I can do after being absent for three-plus years. She’s lived like this because I scared her mom off. I have to fix this. Then I’ll go toe-to-toe with Audrina.

God, this is a fucking mess.

She doesn’t move from where she is laid out beside our little girl. Audrina’s fingers stroke her back where she has removed the girl’s shirt, and she lies there in only a diaper. Not only is the little girl the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen, but she’s all chunky like how I love babies to be. All my friends are having kids, and my favorite are the ones with rolls galore. I want to munch on her like she’s a Texas Roadhouse roll, but that would be weird since I don’t even know her name yet.

Our parents are going to lose their shit.

Ingrid included.

They’re going to be livid, and a new round of fear hits me out of nowhere. I don’t want them to come at her. I want to protect her from their wrath. She deserves my wrath, but not our parents’. This is my fault. They should be mad at me—and they are—but I can’t have them come for Audrina. I can’t let my smart mouth get in the way here. I’m not on the ice trying to get into the heads of my opponents. I’m trying to fix what I broke. I have to put my own damn pain to the side and take this slowly.

Audrina’s eyes are flooded with tears as she stares at me, and I can’t help but take her in. Drink in every feature that has changed and the ones that haven’t. She’s still the stunner she’s always been. Thicker in all the right places, and I think Owen was right. I bet she was a sight to be seen, pregnant with my child.

She did it alone.

Emotion burns in my chest as I bite the inside of my cheek, unable to look away. Her tears fall freely, and I’m not even embarrassed when one rolls down my cheek. I don’t wipe it away. I only lean into the door, watching her care for our daughter. I know my knuckles are white from how tightly I’ve balled my fist to prevent myself from closing the distance. I don’t know what to do, but damn it, I want to help. Audrina has to know because she looks away then, wiping her face as she inhales and lets the breath out just as roughly. She moves a curl out of the baby’s face, and her shoulders shake with sobs as she returns to rubbing her back.

A crash comes from downstairs, and I quickly shut the door, making sure it doesn’t make a noise that would disturb my sick girl. I don’t know what her hearing percentage is, but if she has a fever, the ear gear can amplify sounds, and that can’t feel good. I lock it and then wipe my face before turning to find Audrina watching me.

I somehow find my voice, and it sounds like gravel as I ask, “Is she okay?”

Audrina bites her lip. She tries to speak but pauses. She clears her throat, but then she grimaces before shushing the little girl, who startles at the sound. That means she can hear, but how well with that shitty ear gear? Once she is calm, Audrina looks back at me. “She’s been getting some really bad ear infections lately. I am waiting for the doctor to call me back.”

Anger vibrates throughout me. I don’t yell, but I tell her sternly, “Because she has shitty earwear. You know better?—”

“Stop it,” she demands, sitting up but continuing to rub her back. “You don’t get to come in here and start demanding shit.”

“I don’t?” I ask incredulously. “You kept my daughter from me.”

Audrina presses her lips together. “She has what I can afford.”

I gawk at her. “You could afford more if you came back to your life.”

“That—”

“Or better yet, allow the father to provide for her,” I snap, and her eyes widen. “Or even better, tell the fucking father.”

Her eyes narrow to slits. “Very rich coming from you since I don’t see a paternity test lying around, confirming she is yours.”

Now we’re glaring, tension dark and thick between us. Once more, the brush fire that is us surrounds me, and I allow the burn. Crave it. “I don’t need one when you gave birth to my sister’s twin.”

“Could be hers,” she throws out defiantly, and my glower deepens. She shrugs, knowing her joke fell flat.

“She is mine,” I say with a confidence I didn’t know existed.

Her gaze doesn’t falter as she holds mine. That’s one thing about Audrina I always admired. She doesn’t ever cower. She stands her ground and can go toe-to-toe with anyone. That is why her leaving caught me so off guard. “Yes.”

I have so many questions, but one is flashing like a neon sign in my brain. “What is her name?”

Audrina rolls her lips, glancing down at our daughter as she tucks some hair behind her ear. “Arwen Thaddea Hawkins.”

More questions hit me as if someone is standing over me with a game-day bucket of frozen pucks. But the logos on them aren’t from the IceCats and whoever we’re playing.

Nope. They read Thatcher vs. Audrina.

I swallow past the lump that forms in my throat. She doesn’t have my last name. I look from Audrina to our daughter, whose sweet cheeks are still so red. Her nose is so dainty and small, like a little elf. Her name fits perfectly, and the love I feel for the little girl takes root deep in my soul. I know why Audrina named her Arwen since we’re both nerdy Lord of the Rings fans, but her middle name holds me up. “Thaddea?”

She shrugs. “I wanted her to have a piece of you, and Thaddea was close to Thatty.”

Everything just fucking aches. “But you didn’t give her my last name?”

Her gaze is unwavering. “They wouldn’t let me since you weren’t there to give your consent. You are on the birth certificate, so the name can be changed if you want.”

I don’t even hesitate. “I do.”

A pregnant pause settles between us. I watch as a tear spills over, rushing down her cheek as she nods. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I say, because I need to keep her talking. “I’m surprised you named her after me.”

She looks away, wrapping the baby’s curls around her fingers. “I loved you at the time, so it made sense.”

My gaze burns into her profile. “Loved? I didn’t realize you had those kinds of feelings for me.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, you never asked. Instead, you accused me of being a whore, and I ran. But it’s all good. I have been over you for years now. What’d you think? You’d come back, and things would go back to like before? Everything and more has changed, Thatcher. I am not that girl anymore. I am a mother.”

“To our daughter,” I remind her, ignoring the other shit. I don’t believe for one moment she’s over me. She’s deflecting, and that’s fine. I’ll keep shooting until I score.

“Semantics,” she says, waving me off. “We’re just fine.”

“Are you?” I ask, and unable to help myself, I look around the room, disgusted that this is where she has my child living.

“Yes,” she snaps, her eyes wild.

I shake my head. “Audrina, what the hell are you doing?”

She cocks a brow at me. “Soothing my daughter.”

“No, here. In the center of bumfuck Virginia’s asshole, hiding not only yourself but my daughter.”

She presses her lips together but doesn’t look away even though her tears fall in heaps. “I’m doing what’s best for me.”

“That’s fucking selfish, and you know it.”

“My peace is more important than the chaos that waits for me back home.”

“Chaos?” I choke out, glaring at her. “What chaos?”

“Coming home will be a shitshow. Everyone will be so mad, so I’d rather just stay away.”

It’s like I don’t know her. “What is this?” I ask, gesturing my hand at her. “This isn’t you. You don’t hide.”

“Yeah, well, apparently I’ve never been broken before, so this is what’s left.”

Her words cut deep, and I try so hard to keep my cool, but it shatters. I can’t apologize because she’ll assume I’m doing it because she brought up the past. Instead, I blurt out, “Audrina, this is selfish. Stop thinking of yourself and think of our child. It’s not about what’s best for you anymore. It’s what’s best for Arwen. Ear infections? Sick? Living in a box?”

“I am making an honest living,” she sneers at me.

“For what? To prove a point that you can? Way to go. We’re all so proud you ran off—with my child—and hid for over three years. Now, are you done throwing a fit?”

Why did I say that? I’m like a lion with a thorn in my paw when it comes to her. I hate that we’ve hurt each other, but I need her to see reason.

“Get f-u-c-k-e-d,” she spells out, her eyes lobbing bombs at me. “I am not throwing a fit. You made me feel smaller than small. I took off to lick my wounds and figure out who I am.”

I hold up my hands to calm the situation. “I’m sorry,” I say, my heart in my throat. “I didn’t mean that. But figure out who you are? I didn’t even know that was in question.”

More tears cloud her vison as she holds my gaze. “Neither did I, until you said what you said.”

“I was hurt and pissed.”

“And you broke my heart.”

Her words hurt more than they should. “That is something I’ll continue to apologize for for the rest of my life. But Audrina, it didn’t need to be like that. Damn it, we’ve fought plenty of times, but what made this time so different? You ran after a fight and hid my kid?”

She doesn’t look the least bit apologetic. “You said, don’t come back without proof of the baby being yours. Sorry I couldn’t afford it.”

I glare, my whole body on alert, but she glares right on back. She may think she’s changed, but all I see is the girl I’ve been obsessed with my whole life. The fire in her eyes, making them so bright, renders me breathless. Her lips are pressed so tightly together that they’re white, while her dainty little nose is up in the air. Stubbornness is one of her main traits, and before, I loved it. But now, I want to wring her damn neck.

She’s not going to back down at all. Her dad always called her his little princess, but I knew Audrina was a queen. She knows what she wants, she knows what to do to get it, and she’ll never back down. Problem is, I’ve never been on the receiving end of that stubbornness. We may have fought, but we always made up. I don’t know what to do here, because she’s right—things have changed.

I may still be so utterly in love with her that it hurts, but I broke us.

She replaced me with our child, and now I’ve gotta figure out where I fit into the life she’s made. If that means giving her a whole new puzzle and begging her to build it with me, I will do just that. Because this woman is mine.

And that will never change.