Page 22

CHAPTER NINETEEN

A fter tending to a fainting Anya, everyone is just staring at us.

No one has said anything or even asked who Arwen is. I think they know. I gather up my girl and sit her on the counter in the kitchen just as Ingrid comes over with a bag of pretzels.

Yes? She signs to Arwen, and my daughter beams at her aunt as she nods. She takes the bag, and I rub her back as I look over at my parents, who are stunned into silence. Tears have spilled over my mom’s high cheekbones, her bun off to the side and messy from trying to get her best friend off the floor. She is breathing hard, and my dad looks just as weary. He keeps running his fingers through his dark hair, looking from Arwen to me then back again. William’s jaw has been slack since he set eyes on Arwen. I wonder if he sees the dusting of freckles along her cheeks and knows they mirror her mother’s. If he sees the beauty that was passed down like a blessing from God.

The silence is deafening, and as always, my eyes travel to the mother of my child. She stands by her mom, putting a bandage on her elbow from where she busted it up when she fell. Audrina has redone her bun, and more tendrils of hair fall along her slender neck. Her shoulders are back, and I know she’s tense. I want to close the distance, rub out all the knots, and make her feel good. The jeans she wears make her ass look so damn juicy, and I want to take a bite. Not sure that would go over well with her or our parents since we’ve given them no information. I’m sure they’re trying to figure out what is going on. Hell, welcome to the crowd.

All I know is I want Audrina to be mine.

She was so brave, held her head up and stood her ground.

I’m proud and in awe of her.

Fuck, I want her.

Again, not the time or place, but it’s true. I want her—no, fuck me, I need her.

I look back at Arwen, and she’s munching happily on pretzels. I tuck her hair behind her ears and then tap her jaw. Her eyes meet mine, and I sign, Nice nap?

She nods. Yes, but I’m so hungry.

I can see that. How are your ears?

She shrugs, a little frown pulling at her lips. Okay. Still hurt.

I’m sorry.

It’s Dad who asks, “She’s deaf?”

I meet my dad’s gaze and nod. “Yeah. Her ear gear wasn’t the best, so we went to see Dr. Welsomire today, and she’s getting new gear. She has an ear infection right now.”

Dad’s brow knits as my mom asks, “Have you done hot compresses? They used to work on Ingrid.”

“We haven’t had time?—”

“I usually do,” Audrina answers, cutting me off. Anya grabs her daughter’s hand, studying Audrina, but she doesn’t say anything. “She doesn’t like them much.”

Mom’s breath catches as she nods. “Neither did Ingrid, but they helped.”

Once more, silence stretches between us. Arwen taps my arm, and I tear my gaze away from my parents to look down at her. Daddy, are Baba and Dede mad?

My smart girl. My mom lets out a sob, though I ignore her to sign to Arwen. No, malyshonuk . Everyone is just so excited to meet you.

She sends me a toothy grin, and I notice that she has a small gap like Audrina does. I wonder if it’ll stay or if it’ll close when her adult teeth come in. Audrina didn’t have a gap when she was young, but now, it’s there. I watch as Arwen looks around the room, her doe eyes shining as she waves to everyone. Then with a confidence I didn’t know an almost three-year-old could possess, she signs, I’m Arwen. I’m two. She holds up two fingers, and I can’t help but grin as everyone's eyes become watery. I am so very excited to meet you.

Anya squeezes Audrina’s arm, and I watch as she looks at her mother. “She is yours?”

Audrina grins over at Arwen. And while she signs, she says, “Yes, that’s my baby girl.”

An ache burns in my chest as Arwen juts her little chin up proudly.

“Thatcher?” my mom asks on a sob, and I nod.

I look down at Arwen and tap her leg. When her sweet brown eyes meet mine, I say and sign, “Yes, I am her daddy.”

The room goes silent once more, until my mom asks, “How?”

How do I answer that? Ingrid beats me to it, “Well, when a man loves a woman, and the woman opens her legs?—”

“Jesus Christ, Ingrid!” Mom scolds, but I snort. She’s not wrong. I look over to see Audrina hiding her grin.

Emotion is thick in my dad’s voice as he asks, “Did you know, Thatcher?”

I know the truth will look bad on Audrina, but I can’t lie. “I found out four days ago.”

All eyes cut to Audrina, but to her credit, she stands tall. My mom’s voice is guttural as she asks, “You had a baby and raised her by yourself?”

Audrina takes a deep breath and nods. “I did.”

“ Malyshonuk ,” her mom scolds. “Why? We would have helped you.”

“She didn’t need help,” I say, and all eyes now fall on me. “Can’t you see how perfect Arwen is? She’s not even three, and yet she signs like she’s ten. She’s brilliant, and it’s all her mom.”

Audrina’s face floods with color. “I learned everything from you, Maeve.” Her voice is small. “I just did everything you did for Ingrid.”

My sister perks up beside me. “And you did great,” she says and signs.

Mom has to hold the counter for support, but my dad isn’t far from her. He wraps his arms around her waist, holding her to his chest. Even with the tension in the room, no one could ever question how much my parents love each other. I learned everything I know from them. Well, I take that back. My dad isn’t an asshole; that’s a chemical imbalance that’s only mine. With a shaky voice, my mom asks, “You hid my baby’s baby from him?”

Audrina’s smile falls off, and I instantly go on defense. I drag Ingrid to Arwen before pressing my temple to my daughter’s head. Once I know Ingrid has her, I walk over to Audrina. I don’t touch her, but I stand nearby so she knows I’m there.

Before either of us can answer, Anya snaps, “You not only chased her away, but you knocked her up?”

Audrina holds up her palms, sighing deeply. “I know this is a lot to take in, and I can’t even begin to apologize for the pain I’ve caused all of you.” Her eyes settle on me, and I give her a small smile. “I never meant for so much time to pass. I was scared and didn’t know how to come back.”

“So, if Thatcher hadn’t found you, you would have kept his child from him?” Mom asks, and I flash her a look.

“We aren’t doing this. Between the two of us, we have had enough what-ifs. All that matters is that Audrina and Arwen are home. Arwen is so excited to have her Babas and Dedes in her life. Please don’t let my daughter down by holding her parents to their mistakes.”

“We’d never,” Dad breathes. “We are just trying to figure out how this happened.”

“Again, when a man loves a woman?—”

“Ingrid!” all four parents bellow.

“Enough,” Dad scolds, but Ingrid just grins. “I am floored, Thatcher.”

“I know. I’m sorry for that, but Arwen is all that matters.”

Mom’s eyes burn into mine. “How are you not upset?”

“I am,” I answer honestly. “I hate that I missed everything, but that’s not going to keep me from being in their lives now.”

I feel Audrina’s eyes on me, but I hold my parents’ gazes.

“I’m so confused,” Dad admits, and William nods.

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“I understand, and I’m sorry,” Audrina says softly. “I hope you know I never intended to hurt anyone.”

Mom’s lips draw down. “Oh, sweetheart, we know. It’s not who you are. But then, I never thought you’d hide my son’s child.”

“Mom,” I warn, and her eyes flash to mine.

“Am I wrong?”

“No,” I answer. “I never thought she could do it either, but she did it out of fear, and that’s my cross to bear. It’s my fault.”

“But we lost time with her too,” Dad says, looking between us.

“But Thatcher obviously hurt her enough to warrant this,” William says. “She wouldn’t have run and hid for no reason.”

“Dad,” Audrina almost pleads. “Everyone, please. Let this be between Thatcher and me.”

I don’t think anyone hears her, because William asks, “Are you going to make an honest woman out of my daughter?”

Before I can say, “Name the time and place and make sure Audrina shows up,” Audrina shrieks. “What? Dad! This isn’t the 1800s in the middle of Russia. We don’t need to get married because we have a kid.”

Anya isn’t having that. Her face is beet red as her eyes set on me. “So, you knock my daughter up but won’t marry her?”

“That’s unfair, Anya,” Mom snaps. “Why would he want to marry someone who hid his child?”

“Why would she want to marry someone who forced her to run and hide a child?” Anya throws back at my mother.

“It’s obvious they’re both at fault,” my dad says, trying to reason with everyone. “As I said, they’re adults. We have to trust they know what they’re doing.”

“Don is right. We raised them the best we could,” William adds, running his hands down his face.

Anya doesn’t agree. “But if he hadn’t broken my daughter after knocking her up, this wouldn’t have happened!”

“You’ve been pushing them together since they were born!” Mom accuses her. “I told you they’re better as friends.”

This is getting out of control.

Ingrid snorts. “And this is why I’ll be your cool older aunt who won’t marry, so I can take you all over the world and away from all this crazy,” she signs and says to Arwen. I don’t know if Arwen knows what she’s talking about, but she looks at Ingrid like she hung the moon.

I throw my hands up. “Let me stop everyone right here,” I say as calmly as I can. “Audrina and I have a lot to figure out, but that’s our responsibility. Just the two of us and no one else. I don’t know how else to tell you this.” I pause, looking at each one of our parents. “I have every intention of being the best father I can be, and together, we’ll raise Arwen. We don’t know the details, but please let us work through it. All we ask is for you to love our daughter.”

I feel Audrina tense beside me, and when I look at her, her eyes are cloudy with tears. “Our priority is Arwen. That’s it.”

I know she’s saying it for herself, and I wonder if anyone else believes her.

“Everyone’s main concern should be getting to know and love Arwen,” Ingrid says. She boops Arwen’s nose and signs, “Because she is the sweetest little girl.”

The tension in the room is suffocating, and emotions are all over the place. I can see why Audrina felt like this would come between our families. I see it happening in the way the two best friends of almost fifty years glare at each other.

I tuck my hands in my pockets, rocking on my heels as I look at the four people who raised me. “I know it’s all very messy, but what Audrina and I don’t want is this coming between us. No matter what, Arwen will come first.”

Audrina moves closer to me. “There has been enough pain and anger just between the two of us. We don’t want that for anyone else.” I smile to myself at her use of us, and I don’t miss the way she side-eyes me. I grin widely at her, and she rolls her eyes. She exhales and then looks at her mom. “I’m home. Thatcher made sure of that. Can we please just come together and love Arwen?”

“That’s a given, malyshonuk ,” Anya says, her tears spilling over her lashes. “But you’re my baby, and I don’t like that you felt you had to run when you came up pregnant because of some boy.”

“ Some boy ,” my mom snaps. “That some boy is my boy, who is the best goddamn man in the world, besides my husband.”

Anya snorts at that, looking at me like she wants to spit on me. “Don would never knock you up, break your heart, and then force you to run.”

“Mom,” Audrina pleads. “Please, I’m good.” I actually believe her. “Has my world been turned upside down? Yes, but it’s for the best. Arwen has her daddy, her aunt, and now her babas and dedes. That’s important to her. To me. I made sure she knew all your faces.”

I watch as Mom chokes on a sob, and I swallow past my own emotion that threatens to choke me. I look away, and my gaze finds Audrina’s. Her eyes are wide, full of apprehension, and my heart aches at the sight. I reach out, taking her hand. She threads her fingers through mine, and then she whispers, “Thank you.”

I smile. “Anything for you.”

Her eyes flash with a look of displeasure that I’m becoming acquainted with. It’s her “You’re approaching the boundaries I’ve put up” look, but what she doesn’t realize is that I love that look. I love the flush that fills her cheeks, the way her eyes narrow as she raises her brows to her hairline. Fuck, she does it for me. She can look at me like that all she wants, as long as she’s looking at me.

I just hope she is seeing me.

As hers.

“Thatcher.”

My smile turns feral as I squeeze her hand, forgetting that we’re in a room full of our families. It isn’t until my mom speaks that I remember we’re not alone. “So, obviously, he wants to be with Audrina, but she’s holding out.”

“Because he broke her heart. Don’t forget that,” Anya snarks at my mom.

They glare, and I shake my head.

I’m pretty sure it’s going to be easier for Audrina to fall back in love with me than it will be for our moms to stay out of our business.