Page 17

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I ’m pretty sure Eli is wondering where my balls went, but honestly, I don’t care.

I was wrong last night, but hell, I’ve been wrong about everything when it comes to her.

I had spent the night going back and forth about how everything played out. I went over the whole day from the moment I saw her until the moment I walked out the door, tears in my eyes as Arwen cried for me. I didn’t want to leave them. It gutted me to know I wouldn’t be there to protect them. What if Arwen’s fever came back? What if Audrina decided to take off? I knew right as that thought came across my brain that I couldn’t live without them.

When Audrina told me that there would never be an us and that she’d never put herself out there for me to break again, it took everything in me not to drop to my knees and beg her to take it all back. I have known this girl my whole life, and she looked at me like a stranger. Like I’m nothing to her. I thought her leaving for three years was hard. Or finding out I had a kid. Nope, none of that made me feel as low as the way she looked at me and the words she said.

But fuck that.

There will be an us.

And I’ll show her that I’ll never break her again.

I truly didn’t mean to the first time, but that makes me even a bigger idiot than I already assume I am. What did I think saying that shit to her would do? Especially after we’d had such an incredible night. I had convinced myself she was mine, and I was ready to show her how I could be as her boyfriend. Instead, I showed her how awfully jealous I can get and how I hadn’t let go of the fact that she’d slept with Dart.

I knew he didn’t mean anything to her, just as she didn’t mean anything to him. He’s moved on, married, and so blissfully happy. Tennessee and Dart have a little boy, Neyland, and she’s pregnant with their second. Audrina and Dart weren’t meant to be anything but a hookup, and while I might sound a little too cocky, Audrina and I are made for life.

I just have to remind her of that. I have to show her how good we are together. Show her I can love her in ways no one else can. All while being a great dad and an amazing hockey player.

No big deal.

For as long as I’ve known Audrina, she has always been right by my side. Her leaving made me realize I took that for granted, along with her loyalty and her love. I’ll never do that again.

I will earn her back, no matter what.

When I feel a tug at my slacks, a Walmart special, I glance down to see my little girl at my knee. She looks up at me with her wide, doe eyes full of excitement and love. I can’t wait for our parents to meet her, for Ingrid to get her hands on her. Arwen is going to be so overwhelmed with love. She will probably forget who I am once she has her Babas and Dedes. I’ll be old news. So, I soak up all the love in her eyes as I bend down to make our eyes level. She’s practically vibrating with excitement as she signs, Do I really get to see Baba and Dede?

Yes, and Ingrid.

She squeals, jazz hands flying as she bounces. Will I have a room?

Her question catches me off guard. Audrina and I haven’t discussed where they’ll live. Both our parents live on rather large estates, right next to each other, about an hour from the rink. We could stay with either since there is no way I can bring them back to Audrina’s and my old place. Telly lives there now, in a room that would be Arwen’s. So, will Audrina stay with her parents and I stay with mine? Shit, we really need to discuss this. Maybe I can convince her to move in with me, and I’ll kick Telly out.

Do you want one? I sign, hoping to buy myself some time to figure out how to answer her.

Yes. I want a big room like Bluey.

That damn show. It’s all she watches and wears, apparently. Not going to lie, though, that little blue dog is a hoot. And Bandit, the dad? Yeah, he’s my idol. Then you’ll have it, malyshonuk .

Her brows pull in, and she mimics my sign for malyshonuk . I don’t know that word.

I smile widely at her before leaning in to kiss her forehead. While I know she doesn’t have her ears and she doesn’t read lips yet, I still speak as I sign to maybe help with the reading of lips. That’s how we did it with Ingrid. “It means ‘my little baby.’”

Her eyes light up. I’m your baby.

My one and only. My forever.

She preens for me, and I grin, chucking her chin. Go pack, so we can leave. We are going to go see a new doctor about your ears.

She gives me the sign for okay before heading to throw more toys into the box. I’m standing up when Audrina comes in with more boxes from downstairs. She’s wearing a little black jumpsuit that looks trendy and flowy on her body. She has on a long-sleeved white top underneath, her hair curled to perfection down over her shoulders. She only put on a bit of makeup, thankfully not enough to hide her freckles. She looks a little frazzled, overwhelmed, and I know I probably look the same. We had our virtual appointment this morning, and Arwen’s last name is now Orlov. Eli is on his way to get the birth certificate and other paperwork taken care of since we need to get on the road to get to South Carolina. He costs a fortune, but he’s worth every penny, just for his connections.

It’s a lot, but I know it’s going to be worth it. As I watch Audrina’s teeth come out to press into the cushion of her bottom lip, I want so badly to replace her teeth with mine. To suck her lip between mine and then kiss her until I’m drunk on everything that is Audrina. I want to drown myself in her body, feeling her skin against mine, and never let go. It’s so hard to be in a room with her and not touch her. I want her, but she’s not ready.

Hell, neither am I.

One touch is all I’ll need to ignore every wall she’s thrown up and devour her.

While it’s a great idea in theory, I’m pretty sure she’ll kick my ass.

She must feel me staring because she looks up, and I quickly look away, clearing my throat. “Hey. So, how invested are you in that car?”

“I’m not. Why?”

“I rented us a car with a trailer for the ride home,” I tell her, looking over to watch her load up her desk supplies. “I hope you’re good with that.”

She shrugs. “It’s fine. I’m not sure my car could pull a trailer.”

Or make it to South Carolina, not that I say that. “Yeah. And also, do you want to get a hotel tonight?”

“A hotel?”

“Yeah,” I say, assembling a box. “I figured we’d see the doctor tomorrow, then I’ll ask for everyone to meet us at my parents’, and we’ll show up.” She chews on her lip, and I can’t bring myself to look away. She’s visibly nervous at what I’ve said. “Figured get Arwen squared away before we bring Babas and Dedes into the mix.”

She nods slowly. I wish I could wrap my arms around her, feeling her sweet curves against me. She doesn’t speak, only continues to load her desk, and when I notice her hands start to shake, I can’t resist any longer. I close the distance between us, hovering over her but resisting touching her. I just need to be in her space; I need to smell her rosemary and mint scent. It’s as intoxicating as she is, and my eyes drift shut as I inhale her.

I feel her tense before she looks over her shoulder at me. Her eyes widen at how close I am, and she can fake the fact that she didn’t know I was this close all she wants. I know she did, and she didn’t stop me.

That’s a win for me.

She licks her trembling bottom lip. “Why are you smelling me?”

“Because I love how you smell.”

“I’ll buy you the shampoo,” she says before turning back to the task at hand. “Go pack something and not try to smell me, weirdo.”

She doesn’t realize how badly I want her. I reach out, pressing my hand into the middle of her back. She tenses up once more, but that doesn’t stop me from running my fingers along her spine in a soothing manner. “Are you okay?”

Her brows draw in tight, her mouth pressing together. “I’m doing great,” she says sarcastically. “My baby daddy shows up, and now I’m going back home to a place I’ve hidden from for more than three years. Things are peachy.”

I swallow hard, taking it as a win that she still hasn’t pulled away. “Aren’t you excited to see your parents? Mine?”

She stops packing and turns with an incredulous look on her face. I drop my hand to my side as she leans into the desk, looking up at me while putting space between us. Her hazel eyes are clouded with tears. “I’m terrified, Thatcher. They’re going to be so mad.”

It surprises me that she’d feel that way. “Mad? I don’t think so. Maybe annoyed that you’ve had no contact, but I think the relief of having you back will cancel out everything else.”

At least, that’s how it was for me. But then my eyes met a pair of doe-eyed brown ones, and my world was tossed off its axis once more. Then I felt every emotion on the planet, but relief is still the biggest one.

I’m so glad I have Audrina back, in whatever capacity she’ll allow. When I’m near, I know she is safe. Adding Arwen to the mix only drives me to protect them even more.

Audrina isn’t convinced, shaking her head. “And then they’ll be pissed I had a kid and didn’t tell them. I’m so worried it’ll start a war between our families. Our parents taking our sides and fighting against one another. They’ve never not been on common ground, but this could be the time. All while leaving Arwen in the middle.”

She looks at her hands, picking at her nails as her shoulders shake with sobs. I reach out, cupping her hands in mine. She looks up, her jaw slack as her watery gaze reluctantly meets mine. “I won’t let that happen.”

“What?” she asks, her voice soft and airy.

“Arwen will be nowhere but at the top, she will be loved by our families, and I’ll take the blame.”

Her face scrunches up. “But I’m at fault too.”

“I know,” I say, holding her gaze. “But that’s between you and me. We will work on that. It’s not for our parents.”

“You know them—they’re always in our business.”

I shrug. “Sure, but that’s because we let them before. That’s not the case anymore. We have to do what’s best for us, and we have enough problems and trauma between the two of us to add in everyone else.”

A flush fills her face. “You’re using the word us for a situation that doesn’t include that concept.”

My lips kick up at the side as my eyes hood a bit, her hazel eyes leaving me breathless. I want to close the distance between us. I want to smother her mouth with mine. Instead, much to my dismay, I squeeze her hands and say, “ Dushen’ka , there will always be an us.”

She’s stunned for about two seconds, which is what I wanted. If I were a brave man, I would have kissed her, but she’ll resist. I know she will. I’d rather she beg for my kisses, beg for me, and she will.

It won’t take twentysomething years. Instead, it’ll take weeks, maybe months, but I’ve got all the time in the world. Like I said to Eli, there is no one but her for me, and I’ll stand on that hill until my dying day.

She’s apparently nowhere near my hill, though. Her face is red as she shakes her head. “No, Thatcher, there won’t. Not anymore.”

I squeeze her hands again, this time a bit more firmly. “Never say never, dushen’ka .”

Her eyes widen, frustration swirling in her hazel depths. “Don’t call me that.”

I shrug as I back away. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Well, get out of the habit.”

I press my finger to my lips, thinking that over. “It’s a habit I’d rather not break.”

“There is no us.” She’s breathing fire now.

I chuckle just as Arwen wraps her arms around my legs. I lift her up with a grin as she signs, Daddy, I’m ready to go!

Holding her close, I turn so Audrina can see me signing to Arwen. Because I’m a petty jackass, I make sure to say the words I want Audrina to see and hear clearly. I am too. We are almost done, and then we’ll head out. Arwen throws up her jazz hands while I turn, but I look over my shoulder at a flustered Audrina. “Just so you know, we is another word for us .”

She’s fuming. Damn, she’s cute. “No, we is the three of us.”

I grin when she curses after realizing she used us . Meanwhile, I’m grinning like a cat with cream. “Sure, but there would be no we if there weren’t an us.”

She stomps her foot, and I chuckle loudly. I sense Arwen grinning at me, and I return the smile. Isn’t Mommy pretty?

Arwen is animated as she signs, Sooooo pretty.

Right? I sign and then say, “Especially when she’s all flustered and angry.”

Audrina groans loudly, and I can only laugh.

It won’t be easy, but damn it if I’m not looking forward to the fun part of getting back to us .