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CHAPTER ELEVEN

A rwen and I are coloring when the door opens an hour later. I thought Arwen was a pretty freaking cool kid before, but she’s so much more than I ever could have imagined. She is witty and quick with her hands. I can tell that Audrina has worked hard with her from all the resources and hand-strengthening tools she has. It’s apparent Audrina made sure to do everything my mom and dad did when we learned of Ingrid’s diagnosis.

It actually made Ingrid cry when she saw all the supplies Audrina had for Arwen. Of course, Arwen was stoked to show Ingrid everything, and her auntie ate it up. They couldn’t get enough of each other, both signing quickly and wanting to know everything. The last thing Ingrid said when we ended the call was, “Bring her home now.”

I have every intention of doing so.

Audrina takes in the scene as she shuts the door with her foot, holding a tray of plates. Her teeth sink into her lip as she looks between us. I notice that Arwen didn’t hear her come in, so I tap her before pointing to Audrina. Arwen’s sweet face lights up as she says, Mommy !

Audrina grins at our daughter, not me, as she jazz hands with one hand before coming to the table where we sit. Arwen is already cleaning up our mess, but I find I’m still watching Audrina. It’s insane how gorgeous I still find her even after everything that has happened. How obsessed I am with the small upturn of her nose, how I wish I could taste her lips. I wonder if it would be as good as it was before. If she tastes the same or if everything has changed. Kissing her pulse point was nowhere near enough. I want more.

I need more.

I know I should hate her for how this all went down. Especially after spending this last hour with the most amazing, smartest little girl I’ve ever met. I am in awe of how Audrina has raised her. It’s obvious that Arwen is her main focus, but it irritates the ever-loving fuck out of me that she doesn’t have insurance and Arwen is not getting the best care. It’s asinine to me because Audrina has money, but instead, she is choosing to stay holed up in this room. The rational part of me understands, but the protective part is livid. I don’t hate Audrina for hiding my child—I can’t, after what I said—but I am mad and hurt. I want to shake her for stealing my time with my daughter, but I get it.

I broke her.

But were my crimes really just cause for three missed years of my child’s life?

Three years earlier…

My leg is a blazing inferno of fiery pain.

I realize that pain is a part of recovery, but fuck me sideways, this hurts. Could have something to do with the different ways I had Audrina last night. Under me, on top of me, over the couch, over the counter, in the shower, from the side… And listen, I didn’t let my knee hold me back. I’ve been waiting since I knew what sex was to have Audrina. There was no way in hell I was going to be a two-pump chump. Knee be damned.

Now, though, as the pain radiates up my leg and I’m limping like I just had surgery, I wonder if she would have been okay with a two-pump chump? I gave her multiple orgasms, but maybe she wouldn’t have noticed if I came once I got inside her.

It’s a compliment, really.

I scoff at myself as I head toward the medical part of the compound, needing some meds and hoping to catch Audrina. Even with the pain, I’m giddy to see her today. I want to ask her out on a real date. I realize that we live together, but I want to take her somewhere special. I want to show her who I am as a boyfriend. As much as my heart screams we’re together, I want to romance her. Ask her out the way she deserves and then continue to show her how much better I am as a boyfriend than a best friend.

I grin to myself as I think of how gloriously naked I left her this morning. She was wrapped in my sheets, her hair a wild mess along my pillows as she snored lightly. I kissed the side of her mouth, not wanting to wake her, but she clung to me. “PT?”

Even though she is a physical therapist for the IceCats, she can’t be mine because we know each other outside the rink. They worry she won’t push me, but what they don’t know is I wouldn’t listen to Charles if it weren’t for Audrina. She forces me to do the exercises he gives me, and she even stretches with me at the house. We don’t want to rock the boat, though, so we keep that on the down-low.

I kiss her again before I whisper against her swollen lips, “Yeah. When do you go in?”

“Eight. Are you working out before?”

I do upper body before I go to PT. “Honestly, after lifting your sexy ass up all night to fuck you in all those delicious ways, I shouldn’t, but I am.”

She grins, her teeth grazing my lips. “Be careful when you’re lifting, though. Don’t put all that weight on your right hip.”

My lips quirk, and I kiss her again. “Yes, ma’am.”

She reaches up, squeezing my throat playfully before she rolls over. I smack her ass, rewarded with a sexy gasp before she wiggles it for me. So, I slap it again.

As any smart man would.

Now, I want to smack it again…and maybe once more for good measure. Fuck, I can’t believe last night happened. I’ve wanted to taste her for so long. To feel her in my arms, to hold her after I made her scream my name over and over. We are so close, but now that we’re intimately acquainted, I don’t know how I’d ever handle not having that with her. I’ve been craving intimacy from her for years. There have been so many moments I just wanted to kiss her grin off. Or call her a brat before I smacked that ass. I can do that with a girlfriend, but with a best friend, it’s a bit frowned upon. I never allowed myself to cross that line, but after last night, I cleared that sucker like I was clearing the zone to score the winning goal.

And I did.

A hat trick, honestly.

My grin grows as I limp down the corridor of the IceCats compound. If I weren’t so distracted this morning, I would have grabbed my crutches and made sure I had my meds ready. Alas, Audrina is playing on a loop in my brain. How her eyes locked on mine, how she grinned so widely at me as we cuddled, how my heart thudded in tandem with hers.

How it’s meant to.

How perfect we felt together.

I hear her laughter as I get closer to her treatment room, and before I can get excited for more of the sound, it’s interrupted by the low chuckle of a man. As much as my brain flips to jealousy, I have to remind myself she works with a team of guys. She is just doing her job. She’s mine. I have nothing to worry about.

“Are you and Orlov together?” I hear him ask. Jessie Drouin. Fuckwit. “Because if not, you should give me a chance.”

Audrina’s voice is playful. “I can’t date guys I work on.”

“Then I’ll work with Charles. I’d love to do this naked.”

Her laughter sets my teeth on the edge, but when I turn the corner, I find her with her body laid over his, pressing his knee into his chest. It’s a normal move, nothing to worry about, but the way his hands are at her hips, very close to her butt, has me seeing red. It’s expected for us to put our hands above our heads, not on the therapist’s ass. It’s common fucking courtesy.

Don’t lose it. It’s all fine. Just ask him nicely to move his motherfucking hands off your girl.

“Hey, fuckwad. Get your hands off her ass,” I practically roar.

Way to go.

Fuck off. I tell myself as Drouin throws his hands up, and Audrina steps back quickly, her eyes bugging out and going wild.

“Thatcher, what the hell?”

I glare at her, limping toward her. “Don’t ‘what the hell’ me. I heard you flirting ? —”

“I was not! I was joking around!”

“Dude, it isn’t like that.” Drouin tries sitting up. “We always mess around, I promise.”

That does not help the rage I feel.

“Always, huh?” I snap at her, and her face fills with color.

“It’s not like that. It’s just to pass time.”

“He had his hands on your ass. Is that how you do your job? Hands all over you and them?” I yell, and her eyes narrow as she steps toward me.

“Do not try to make what I do sexual. It is health care, and that’s it. I am doing my job.”

The rage is eating at me, and all I see are his hands on her. “Your job is not to flirt with everyone and touch them.”

“This is ridiculous. I am doing my job.” The rational part of my brain knows this, but her track record isn’t helping. Especially since it’s so damn fresh in my mind. She just hooked up with Dart six months ago, and I’m still a bit butthurt about it.

“Your job is to press your genitals to his?”

“Thatty, stop. That’s not what was happening! His hip needed the stretch. There was nothing sexual, and you know it.” While she seems calm, her face tells a whole other story. She’s freaking out. She knows she was caught, and I don’t get that. Why is there guilt if she did nothing wrong?

Instead of asking that, I throw out, “Is this how it is with all your clients?”

“Do not question my integrity.”

“Integrity? Weren’t thinking about that when you slept with Dart?” Her eyes go dark, her pupils blowing out as her face flushes red with anger. “You were just ‘working on him,’ then you two went out for drinks, and bam, you fucked him.”

She slaps me. Right across the face. One would think that would force me in line. Make me think before I speak.

It doesn’t.

My face burns where she hit me. Both of us are breathing hard, our eyes wild as they lock on each other, and the room is so thick with tension, it’s suffocating. We’ve also drawn a crowd, everyone watching, and I don’t miss the way Owen shoots me a “Shut the hell up” look.

“It was a mistake, and you know that. I have not touched anyone else ever. And especially not at work.”

I forgave her. I did. So why am I bringing that up?

“Orlov, I swear, it wasn’t what it looked like,” Drouin tries once more, but neither of us pays him any mind. “Let’s just take a breath.”

I shake my head. I heard her, and as much as I want to believe she hasn’t been with anyone else on the team, how do I know? The only reason I found out about Dart was because he told me. My eyes narrow as my heart shatters in my chest at the thought of other men touching her. Hearing her screams, tasting her mouth, and feeling her strangle their dicks with her beautiful pussy. All that is mine. She’s mine. The thought of anyone experiencing what is mine has me ragey.

I swear I see red as I sneer, “How do I know that? Was it a mistake because you got caught?”

“Caught?” she snaps. “We weren’t together. I could fuck whoever I wanted.”

“I see you still can, huh?” Her mouth drops open. I’ll give her credit; she recovers quickly, but all I can hear is the roar of my blood in my ears. I need to calm down. I’m being a fucking asshole, but I can’t help it. Between my leg and my heart feeling like it’s breaking from seeing her with him, I don’t know how to shut up. “How many guys have you slept with from the team that I don’t know about?”

“What the hell, Thatcher?” Tears well in her eyes. “Is that what you really think? That I’m just whoring myself around?”

“If the shoe fits.”

She looks away, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you right now.”

“Am I wrong?” I snap. “You fucked our friend, and now you’re making moves on this asshole.”

Jessie might say something, but I don’t think either of us hears him. Her eyes meet mine, and they’re swimming in tears. “No moves were made, Thatcher. None.”

“What I saw tells me differently.”

She throws her hands up. “I don’t even know why you care. You didn’t make a move until last night. Why does it matter what I did before then?”

“Because…” My words fade away before I put even more of myself out there. “I gave you everything last night,” I say, my voice horse. “And this is how I find you?”

“Yes, working. And gave me what? Dick? Apparently that’s all I’m good for, huh?”

She’s shutting down. I can see it all over her face. “I guess so.”

“I can’t believe you.”

I run my hands down my face, not even believing myself, really. With a groan, I say, “I fucked you without a condom. I better not come up with something.”

“Get fucked. You know I’m clean,” she sneers at me, and a tear spills over. It cuts me deep as I watch her shake her head. “Thatty, it isn’t ? —”

I don’t want to hear my nickname on her lips. I don’t want to hear anything from her. How dare she? I know we didn’t hash things out, but I gave her my whole-ass soul last night. Out of my mind with jealousy and fury, I snap, “And your ass better not get pregnant. If so, you better have proof it’s mine since you love to whore yourself around to the whole fucking team. I’ll need cold hard evidence it’s mine.”

“Oh, trust and believe, that’ll never happen,” she shoots back, grabbing her backpack. “You’ll never see me again.”

“I’m sure I will—with a teammate or two.”

Another tear falls. Our eyes lock, and I feel smaller than ever. I lean on the table, trying to take some weight off my knee. My chest is tight, and I’m vibrating with not only anger but also pain.

She steps up to me, the toe of her sneakers brushing mine. “There is only one person I’ve ever wanted, and it’s you. But now that I know what you really think of me, I have only one thing to say to you ? —”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Her eyes burn into mine before another tear rolls over the apple of her cheek. Her face is so red, her eyes so full of hurt that I can’t even look her in the eye. I’m such a dick. I can barely catch my breath. “Audrina ? —”

But she moves past me, stomping out of the room.

Out of my life.

I thought I could apologize, make it better, but she wasn’t home when I got there. Her bags were packed, and I knew she’d gone to her mom’s. I figured I’d give her—and myself—time to cool down before I tried to talk to her.

But I never got the chance.