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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

A rwen asked for Thatcher to stay in bed with us again.

He eagerly agreed.

And while they slept, I traced his face with my eyes like I was memorizing my favorite song. And, in a way, the sharp angles of his face, the curve of his nose, the scar on his lip where he got hit with a stick and had teeth knocked out, all sing to me like a love ballad. He’s so unbelievably handsome, I couldn’t look away if I tried. I spent so many years in awe of him, but I never admitted it. Never explained how much I love the way his dark hair falls over his temples and brows. How he never truly shaves, only trims the hair along his jaw. That when he flashes me that wicked grin of his, my heart feels as if it is sprouting roses from the arteries.

Communication.

Why does that word scare me so much? He was a staple in my life. He was always there, and we got along great. But admitting that I feel something for him, that I have loved him for as long as I can remember in a non-brotherly way, has always tied me in knots. Not only was I scared of the rejection but also of the change that it would bring to our families.

Funny thing is, I was right all along. Or was I?

When his lips met mine all those years ago, it was perfect. It was right, and I wholeheartedly agree it could have been something if I hadn’t made the mistake of sleeping with Dart before then. That threw a wrench into Thatcher’s and my relationship and ended up ruining something before it even got started. We weren’t together, but from the way he acted, I should have suspected he felt something for me. At the time, I thought it was an “I don’t want my sister sleeping with my teammate” thing, but a brother wouldn’t get teary-eyed over something like that.

Thatcher had.

It’s insane how I never really noticed—or maybe I didn’t want to notice because it would have made me think I could act on my desires for him. Our past is such a mess, and it freaks me the hell out. But what freaks me out more is knowing I want to forget it all, throw caution to the wind, and give in to every one of my desires. There is just so much pain and so many mistakes between us, however. Could we ever possibly move on from it?

Could we try again?

Thatcher has none of my reservations, though, as he holds Arwen on his hip, his large hand on the small of my back. His hand is warm, steady on me, as if everything before the moment he came back into my life never happened. He has been so attentive, and every time he looks at me, he makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world. His eyes get this darkness to them when he looks at me that makes the brown of his irises seem black. He makes me hot everywhere, and it’s getting harder by the hour not to fall back in love with him.

Or, at least, admit that I have. Because, let me be honest, I never stopped loving Thatcher Orlov.

My chest aches as he guides me into Aviva and Nico Merryweather’s home. I haven’t been to this house since Nico bought it for Aviva after she became pregnant with their second child. The house is spacious, with an open floor plan that is very modern and has a chic feel. The house is fully decorated in Paw Patrol, and I swear on every surface is a sign with Vivian and a 4. When I left, Aviva had just given birth to Vivian, but I never got to meet her. Guess that’s about to change.

Not only is the house full of birthday décor but also photos of their family. Loads of shots on the ice of Nico in his goalie gear and Aviva and the kids. I get a burning feeling in my chest that I tell myself is indigestion, but really, it’s because I want this. I want a house full of memories of my family.

Of Arwen…and Thatcher.

And me.

Of us.

That fucking word.

When a photo of Aviva’s little sister, Callie, catches my eye, my grin widens. In it, her boyfriend, Evan Adler, who I guess is now her fiancé, is on his knee with a huge ring just for her in the middle of an outdoor ice rink. It’s funny, when I was younger, that’s how I thought Thatcher would propose to me. On the ice, where he made his living and where I was dead set on being his biggest fan.

According to Arwen, my position has been taken.

I’m trying really hard not to be jealous of my daughter.

Then I remind myself I’m not supposed to be his biggest fan.

But apparently my heart didn’t get that memo.

The house is full of kids and IceCats players. I recognize almost everyone, and my heart catches in my throat because most of them were there when Thatcher let me have it.

I’m holding my breath in hopes that no one will notice me. I should know better. Beside me, Thatcher grins widely as Aviva comes out from the kitchen, wiping her hands with a return grin. “Thatcher!” Aviva has always been such a beautiful woman. She’s tall, with curves and such a kind smile. Her dark-brown hair is up in a sleek ponytail, and her green eyes are done up nicely with light makeup. She’s wearing a Paw-Patrol-patterned dress that flares around her hips and hits her knees. On her head is a helmet that Sky from Paw Patrol wears. Jeez, motherhood is a great look on her.

I watch as her brows knit when she sees Arwen, and then her smile falls quickly when she notices me. “Audrina?” Her voice is full of shock before her grin returns. “Oh my God! It’s so good to see you. Come here!”

I’m surprised by her welcome, but even more so when she wraps her arms around me like I haven’t been gone for more than three years. “Where have you been!? I’ve missed you! I tried calling and texting you.”

I grimace. “Yeah, I got a new phone. I’ve been all over.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re back,” she gushes, squeezing my hands. “I know he has to be too,” she says, nodding toward Thatcher.

“I am,” he says proudly, as if he couldn’t miss the opportunity to tell me so.

Smug asshole.

But damn it, the butterflies in my belly go wild.

I smile to myself as Aviva looks up to where Arwen is leaning her cheek against Thatcher’s. Her eyes widen as Arwen smiles happily. My kid has never met a stranger, pretty sure she could be best friends with a rock. She wears a brand-new pink Juicy jumpsuit that I didn’t even know they still made. Leave it to my mom and Maeve to not only find it, but buy it in every color for Arwen. She has on a pair of little pink Uggs with a huge pink Juicy bow in her hair.

My kid is dressed better than me.

Aviva’s brows knit tighter as she looks between us. Before either of us can confirm what she is suspecting, people start to gather. My name is called over and over as I hug Jaylin Litman, who is married to Kirby Litman. And of course, even with a huge pregnant belly, she’s an absolute stunner. She has always been such a chic lady, and I fully believe it has to be because she’s a ballbusting lawyer. Next, I’m wrapped up in Angie Adler’s arms, her belly poking into mine as she gives me a hard, warm hug. I love her hugs; they’re so tight and so real. She’s a shy girl, doesn’t really let anyone in, but when she does, man, it’s like the sun is shining on your face.

When Amelia Moon tackles me, I laugh as she kisses me loudly on the cheek and then scowls at me. “How dare you ghost us, asshole? My babysitter disappeared without a trace!” I snicker as she kisses me again. “I’ve missed you,” she tells me softly, and all of a sudden, I’m breathing again.

“I’ve missed you. Where are the kids?”

“Running amok somewhere,” she says with a wave of her hand. “They don’t know how to stay still.”

I grin as Chandler, her husband, hugs me next, and then I’m being passed around by all of Thatcher’s teammates. I tense up, hoping it doesn’t piss him off, but when I chance a glance, he’s only grinning as Aviva and Jaylin gush over Arwen. She has her ears on today, and I know she missed them. Things are so much clearer for her, and I know she’s eating up the attention. When Aviva and Jaylin turn to look at me with shock in their gazes, I know that Thatcher must have told them she is ours.

“What’s wrong?” Angie asks me, her eyes searching mine, and I clear my throat as my gaze stays locked with theirs. She follows my gaze and then looks back at me, confused. “Drina?”

She’s the only one to call me that. I don’t hate it, but it’s not my favorite.

It’s not dushen’ka.

Though, it would be weird if my friend called me that.

I take a deep breath. “The little girl Thatcher is holding,” I say, jerking my chin toward Arwen, who is now laughing as Thatcher tickles her under her chin. “That’s our daughter.”

Angie takes in a sharp breath and then looks back to me. “She’s gorgeous and, God, Thatcher’s twin.”

I snort at that. “For sure. Kinda unfair. Go through all that pain and carry her for so long just for her to come out looking like her daddy.”

“But she has your freckles,” Angie comments, and she brings her hands up to rub her growing belly. She then looks at me, sadness in her green eyes. “So that’s why you ghosted everyone?”

I shake my head. “Not the reason I left, but the reason I stayed away.”

She nods, her eyes searching mine. “It’s because of what happened with Thatcher?”

“Yeah,” I agree in almost a whisper.

“Owen told me about it,” she says, reaching out her hand to hold mine. I thread my fingers with hers, and her voice is so low and soothing. “It was bad, and I tried reaching out.”

I fight back the tears. I have missed her so much. “I know, but I was too embarrassed.”

Her face scrunches up. “Embarrassed? You did nothing wrong. He was the jackoff. He’s the one who was embarrassed.”

I hold her gaze. “I had my faults.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know them.”

“How do you know he was embarrassed?”

She gives me a knowing grin. “Come on, Drina. Surely you know he’s been in love with you since forever?” She says it like everyone but I knew. “He came to the house after you ran off and spent hours helping me clean out my plant room. He was distraught, and all I could do was tell him he was an idiot.”

I smile since you don’t go to Angie’s without helping with the plant room. Thatcher knows that and he hates her plants, yet he went to my best female friend and confided in her. Quietly, I say, “I was an idiot for running.”

She shrugs. “Eh, I don’t think I’ll agree with you on that. I ran when life got hard for me.”

“You had reasons to run.” After being sexually assaulted, Angie left home for the solace of South Carolina. She rebuilt her whole life, and now she is insanely in love with her childhood crush, Owen Adler, and having his baby.

“As did you,” she tells me, her eyes never leaving mine. “Everything happens for a reason. If I hadn’t ended up here, I wouldn’t have linked back up with Owen, and my happily-ever-after wouldn’t be happy.”

I swallow past the lump in the throat because our stories as so different, but to her, anything is possible. I blink back the tears as I whisper, “I’m sorry for cutting you off.”

She waves me off, her grin unstoppable. “You had to heal. Who am I to say how you do that? I missed you, and I’m so glad you’re home.”

Suddenly, and out of nowhere, Owen comes up behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and nuzzling her neck. “I have spent entirely too long without you in my arms.”

Angie giggles, and my eyes drown in tears. I remember watching them fall in love, and boy, did I root for them. Now, seeing them, it has my heart swelling to ten times its size. “You’re the one who wanted to play hockey with the kids.”

“Duh, I’m practicing for when we have our son,” he says, kissing her jaw.

“Like you need the practice. You grew up with three siblings and a twin.”

He shrugs. “Still, gotta make sure I don’t get rusty.” I laugh at that since he’s insane to think that could happen. He’s the leading scorer for the IceCats. He could play in his sleep. His striking blue eyes settle on me, and he smiles. “Hey there, Audrina. Good to see you again.”

I flash him a shy smile. “Sorry about the other day.”

He scoffs. “I couldn’t believe it was you, and it’s good to see you went back to your regular hair color.”

I laugh as I push my hair off my shoulders. “Apparently I was the only one down with the brown.”

A grimace fills Angie’s features. “Brown. Ew, you are meant to be a strawberry-blond.”

We all laugh in agreement, and while they don’t say it, I feel like they’re talking about more than my hair color. As if they believe I’m meant to be here.

Honestly, I’m starting to feel the same.