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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I don’t think I’ve ever paced as I waited to go out with someone.

It’s not that I’ve never dated. I had tried before that night with Audrina. Though, all I did was compare my dates to her. No one was ever good enough for more than a warm hole to get off in, and the whole thing always made me feel guilty that I was somehow betraying Audrina. Then it just became a fucking hassle.

But nothing about this night I’ve planned for Audrina is a hassle.

Ingrid is leaning on the wall, in a matching purple Lululemon jumpsuit to the one that Arwen was wearing before I took her back to Anya’s. As I pace, I notice she is watching me intently, and I really don’t know why. With her, you never know if she’s going to throw something at you or hug you. I look at her expectantly before I sign and ask, “Aren’t you going with Mom over to Anya’s?”

She nods and answers, “Yes, but I wanted to see your face when you see her.”

I hold her gaze. “Why?”

“Because I know how badly you want this, and it makes me happy.” She pushes off the wall, and I still as she comes toward me. Things haven’t been as tense between us lately, but I can tell she is still a little peeved with me. “Everything you’ve done is very lovely, and I want you to know I won’t settle for less.”

Air gets stuck in my lungs as I hold her dark-brown gaze. I still see her as she was at Arwen’s age, which I know is crazy, but she’ll always be my baby sister. Even when she doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ll always look out for her. I’ll always love her. With a gruffness to my voice, I tell her, “You aren’t settling for anything because no man will come near you.”

She grins widely at me. “Not if they don’t impress me like you do Audrina.”

I press my lips together as I process what she’s saying. I want that for her, to know her worth and be worshipped by whatever guy gets by me. Still, though, I need her to know something. “I’m sorry I fucked up so badly that she left.”

She shakes her head. “You should have told us what happened. Both of you were to blame, but we didn’t understand.”

“I was embarrassed.”

“It doesn’t matter. We love you. We are family. We shouldn’t have blamed you.”

I swear my heart gets caught in my throat as I nod. “It doesn’t matter now. She’s back.”

“I am sorry for the silence,” she tells me, tears spilling over her cheeks. “I live daily with my own silence, and I should have never done that to you. I’m sorry.”

Unable to respond to that, I gather her in my arms and hug her close to my chest. I kiss her temple and squeeze her as she does the same to me. As much as I don’t need her apology, I’ll hold it as close as I’m holding her. When she pulls away, she’s wiping her face as she says in her sweet, jumbled way, “Stop. You make me emotional.” I grin down at her as she fixes the cuffs of my shirt. “I love you,” she says and signs, leaving me to fight back my own tears.

“I love you more,” I tell her, covering her hand over my heart. She flashes me a wide smile, and while there is plenty left to be said, our eyes reveal the most.

We are okay.

Before I can sob all over her, I hear the clicking of heels. I look up, and there she is at the top of the stairs. The chandelier makes Audrina look so fucking regal that I wish I had planned more for her.

Because Audrina Hawkins needs to be shown off.

I feel Ingrid slip her hand out from under mine, but I can’t move. My eyes are glued to the woman of my dreams. I can’t help but fall victim to her beauty as she makes her way down the stairs. In the formfitting long-sleeved black silk dress that falls to the floor in a sea of material with a slit up to her hip, she takes not only my breath away but also all brain cells. Each step gives me a hell of a peek of milky white thigh, and the “fuck-me” six-inch, red-bottomed stilettos leave me harder than the steel pipes I try to score between. She has hardly any makeup on, though her eyes are so damn bright. Her hair is styled in thick waves, brushed over one shoulder, while the black diamond studs I got her adorn her ears, with the matching pendant around her neck.

When I look over to flash Ingrid a grin, I catch her leaving the room. I hope she saw what she wanted, because fuck, I’m in love. I return my gaze to Audrina just as she steps before me.

Breathless, I say, “Fucking magnificent.”

I hadn’t realized my hands were sweating until I embrace her small, soft one. I bring it up to my lips, kissing it lightly, pleased when I notice she painted her nails black to match the outfit I bought her.

A coy grin slides over her lips as she pulls at the lapel of my jacket. “I didn’t realize this was a black-tie event.”

My ears are ringing from how hard my heart is pounding at just the sight of how goddamn beautiful she is. I want so badly to press my lips to her glossed-up ones to familiarize myself once again. I swallow hard. “Any night out with you should be.”

Her eyes widen just a fraction before I tuck her hand into the crook of my elbow and lead her out. Thankfully, our parents, Ingrid, and Arwen went to her parents’ house for dinner, or it’d be a production to get her out of here. Once outside, I have my limited-edition yellow-and-black Ferrari Spider waiting for us, which has her giving me a sideways glance. “Pulling out the big guns?”

I flash her a lopsided grin. “I know you love this car.”

She hides her grin with her hand. “I dented it three times, and you still let me drive it.”

I chuckle along with her as I open her door and take her hand before she lowers herself into it. I lean on the doorframe, holding her eyes as her lips curl up in a devastating way. “I had a hard time telling you no when you’d grin and wiggle your fingers at me for the keys.”

Her eyes sizzle with fire, and I want to fall into them even if they burn me to a crisp. As an Orlov, I’ll always rise from the ashes and be better than ever. I learned that the hard way when she left. Ignoring that thought, I tap the top of the car as I shut the door, before getting in myself. The car rumbles to life, and she giggles at the sound. “When was the first time we took this out?”

“Twelve years ago,” I tell her, loving her carefree look. It’s almost as if we’re seventeen again, exploring the world together. “We were in Montréal at the time, and that new poutine place had just opened downtown.”

She snaps her fingers. “Yeah! We went to do that walking tour since we had just moved there.”

“And Dad had surprised me with the Spider the day before.”

She lets her head rest on the back of the seat as she bites her lip. “I hate that we only stayed for a year. I loved that place. The food, the sights, all so beautiful.”

I reach over, threading my fingers with hers. “I had my sights on you.”

“Stop,” she jests, her eyes darkening.

“You wore my USA Worlds sweatshirt with bright-red leggings and snow boots up to your knees. You had your hair in a braid that was wrapped into a bun, and you had just gotten that lip ring, so you kept fiddling with it.” I exhale, remembering that day like it was yesterday. “Driving me crazy with it because I wanted so badly to feel it against my lips.”

Her jaw goes slack a bit as she holds my gaze. Then with a waggle of her brows, she says, “Should have kissed me then.”

I bark out a laugh, shaking my head. “I should have.”

I wonder how much different everything would have been if I had. If I had just taken her face and nibbled on the spot by her piercing.

“I miss that piercing.”

She snorts. “Mom and Maeve hated it.”

“Right? They were so mad that you did it.”

With a look of pure rebellion that I remember from when we were younger, she shrugs as she brushes invisible dust off her dress. “I wanted it done, so I did it.”

She’s always done whatever she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted.

Except when it came to me. To us.

I glance over at her as our laughter subsides, and the look we share heats up after a few seconds. I should kiss her now, mess up that perfectly glossy mouth. She starts to squirm under my gaze, and when the slit in her dress opens a bit to show off that thigh of hers, I want to slide my fingers right into her sweet pussy. But this isn’t about our desires.

This is about showing her my love and respect.

But on the caveman side of my brain, I’m totally nailing her into the bearskin rug of my cave.

I ignore that part of my psyche, which is as hard as solving a Rubik’s Cube when you’re not a genius, especially with how gorgeous and fuckable she is with that thick thigh on display. Trying desperately to keep it together, I drive off our families’ estates to the interstate. We reminisce about Montréal, and I hadn’t realized I missed it until now. We were there for only a year, stayed in a penthouse that was shared with our families. I had been training for Worlds, and it was also the summer I was being looked at for drafting. William was, and hell, still is, very involved in my hockey career—just as much as my own dad. Our families all sat together when I was drafted. I’ll always hold that memory close to my heart because I sat between them, and they were the first people I hugged before I went onto the stage to accept my IceCats jersey.

As she laughs about that one time we went for a polar bear plunge, I glance over and take her in. She’s absolutely stunning, and as I stare at her, I realize all my greatest memories have her in it. She has always been the one for me, and no amount of time could ever change that. I want her in my life, not just for the good times, but the bad ones too, because that’s how we grow.

Together.

Need for her suffocates me as I pull off the interstate and head for the restaurant. As we make our way to our destination, I feel my need morph into nerves. What if she doesn’t enjoy what I’ve put together? What if it’s all too over the top? What if it seems like I’m trying too hard?

Am I trying too hard?

Can you try too hard when you really want someone?

Fuck me, I’m sweating.

I turn into Jennings, a steak house that is the hottest spot in town right now. The magnificent steel building, which has huge windows with sparkling lights hanging in them, glitters from a distance, and I’m pleased with the sharp breath she pulls in. But then she turns to me. “Are they closed?”

I shake my head. “Nope.”

I get out and hand my keys off as the valet opens the door for Audrina. He takes her hand and coos, “Good evening, Mrs. Orlov.” Her eyes widen, and she shoots me a look that I just grin at. I take her hand as he says, “Enjoy your night.”

We make our way up the stairs, and I check out her thigh every time it appears from the slit. While it’s normal for me to skate backward on the ice, I don’t think it would be acceptable for me to walk backward to catch a glimpse of my girl’s thigh. It’s a pretty sexy thigh, though. Surely people would understand.

We reach the entrance, saving me from looking dumb as I pull open the door that leads to the entry foyer. A hostess in a formfitting black dress and with a wild mane of purple curls greets us. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Orlov. Welcome. We are so excited to have you here at Jennings.”

We thank her as she hits the elevator button, and it opens for us. When we step in, Audrina shoots me a look. “Come here a lot, Mr. Orlov?”

I snicker. “Nope. Been waiting to bring you here, Mrs. Orlov.”

Her eyes narrow as she teases, “Lying on our first date, such a shame.”

“Is it lying, or is it me showing you what I want?”

I flash her a smug smirk when she narrows those eyes at me. The door opens, and I press my hand to her back to guide her in. The dining room takes up the whole floor, filled with black tables, some for two, some for four, and even a few booths along the cement walls. Large bulbs hang over each table, but none of the tables have patrons at them or have been prepared for the evening dinner service. Only one is set. It sits in the corner by the floor-to-ceiling windows that look out over South Carolina in all its beauty. A low-burning candle flickers on the table with a single white rose. I look over at Audrina as she stares at me, surprise apparent in her hazel depths. “Thatcher?”

I smile, pressing into her back as I guide her to our table. “It’s funny. I’ve known the owner of this place since I played with the Mighty Mites in Minnesota. I don’t know if you remember Jennings Kirkwood, but this is his dad’s place.”

“Yeah, I remember him,” she says, her voice full of awe.

“Well, when I called to cancel our night three years ago, he told me not to give up. And then he sang a really bad version of the chorus of ‘Meant to Be’ by Florida Georgia Line and Bebe Rexha.” The trill of her laughter runs down my spine as I pull out her chair. “When I called him yesterday, he gloated, of course, and afterward, he told me the place was mine.”

“The whole place?” she asks while she looks around for anyone else as she lowers herself into the seat.

I lean in when I push her chair in, my mouth right by her ear, as I remind her, “I wanted a place to talk to you privately, but also where there are no distractions. Where I don’t have to share you with a soul.”

I kiss her pulse point, rewarded with a gentle sigh before I grin against her heated skin. She leans her head into mine and whispers, “You planned this all those years ago?”

I nod, kissing her neck once more, her body trembling under my lips. “Yeah.”

She lengthens her neck. “Why?”

I trail my lips up until I’m right at the spot below her ear. “Because I wanted to enchant you and show you that me as a best friend is cool and all, but me as your man? That’s way better.” I kiss her there. “And those are still my intentions.”

“They are?”

I nod, my nose moving along her skin as I breathe her in. Before, I wouldn’t have been so straightforward, but now, I know I have to be. I will not allow any more miscommunication with her. There will be no more “Maybe I should have told her.” I’m throwing everything out there, and I won’t ever feel regret again.

With my voice as steady as I can manage, I promise her, “Not only tonight, but forever.”