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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I love any look Audrina goes for. She’s always been the kind of girl that looks good with any hair color. When we were younger, she put bright purple streaks through her hair. She even went pure blond once, and then a soft pink our junior year. No matter what she does to her hair, I want her, but nothing can touch the carnal need I feel when her hair is that eye-catching blond with a slight blush to it. The color goes so well with the flush of her face and also makes her freckles seem darker along her nose and cheeks. Her eyes glow as her hair frames her round face. She has such a deer-in-headlights look to her with those big doe eyes of hazel perfection, and I’m a goner for her.

I want to kiss her.

Devour her.

Never let her go again.

Instead, with the restraint of a monk, I only press my lips to her cheek.

The way she draws in a sharp intake of breath, how her breasts move against my chest with each inhale, has me going wild. She smells of rosemary and mint, my absolute favorite, and I feel the need to nuzzle my nose in her hair just to intoxicate myself with her scent.

I can’t, though, because I know we’re in a room full of gossip-hungry family.

My eyes slowly shut, and I have no intention of putting space between us. As much as it feels like it’s only us two, I know it’s not. She knows it’s not. And soon, her body gets tense. To my surprise, she moves a hand up, pressing it into my chest. She doesn’t push, though, just holds it there. When her eyes widen, I know she feels my heart beating out of control.

For her.

Only for her.

Without thinking, I cover her hand with mine, and I grin at the little sigh that leaves her lips. Needing to see all of her, I pull back, meeting her dilated eyes as she looks up at me, her pillowy lips parted.

“Hi,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

“Hi,” she says back tentatively, her eyes searching mine.

“How was your day?”

She swallows. “Okay. Busy. Yours?”

Her voice is breathy, and that pleases me more than I expect it to. “Better now.” That flush burns along her cheeks as I curl her hair around my finger again. “I love your hair.”

Her lips curve a bit, but not in a full, breathtaking Audrina way. “Thank you.”

I need to keep her talking, and thankfully, Ingrid has my back. “Okay, everyone out,” she says, and I’m sure she signs too. Audrina looks at our family, but my gaze stays on her. Her profile is stunning, her jaw so sharp that I want to trace it with my tongue. Before I can act on such thoughts, I watch as her flush burns brighter, but then she’s scrunching her face. She pushes into my chest. “No, wait. Arwen wants Thatcher.”

Fuck me. I didn’t even see her. I turn just as my dad sets her on her feet. She starts for me, her eyes wide and full of excitement, but that’s not what has me clutching my chest. No, my baby is wearing my sweater. My number. My name. I crouch down as she reaches me, wrapping her small arms around my neck with gusto. I know she can’t hear me, but still, I breathe against her hair, “ Malyshonuk .”

She smells like vanilla, and I nuzzle her close as she giggles for me. When I pull back, her eyes meet mine as she moves her hands. Dede said I’m your biggest fan. I am, Daddy. I really am.

Okay, I can’t cry, can I? Emotion is thick in my throat as I nod. I know, malyshonuk . I love your jersey.

She does a little turn like she’s in a tutu rather than a too-big IceCats jersey. It’s yours, Daddy. See your number?

Tears burn in my eyes as I nod proudly. I see it.

She beams only for me, her little teeth making it real hard to pull in breath after breath. When Ingrid comes up behind her, snatching her up in her arms, Arwen laughs loudly, and then Ingrid does the same. God, can I get a break? I smile at my sister, and she gives me a coy one back. Almost like she wants to smile at me but she’s worried to do so. I don’t want to think that she’s trying to avoid smiling at me, but I can’t shake the feeling I’m right.

Next thing I know, everyone is clearing out, and I’m left with the girl of my dreams. She leans into the counter, looking everywhere but at me. “Why are we being left alone?” I ask, and when she drags that bottom lip between her teeth, I add, “Not that I’m complaining.”

She gives me a small smile and says softly, “We apparently have a lot to talk about.”

“According to them?”

“I mean,” she says with a shrug, “I have to agree.”

I nod, leaning my hip to the island. “They can hear us.”

“I know,” she says.

“No, we can’t,” Ingrid calls, and I roll my eyes. “Half of us are deaf!”

I can’t help but snort at that while Audrina shakes her head, laughing. God, she’s so beautiful when she laughs. I take the spot beside her, leaning back on the counter so that her shoulders touch my bicep. I cross my ankles and tuck my hands into my pockets to keep from touching her. My heart is a mess in my chest as I say, “I’m leaving this Monday.”

She nods. “I know. Maeve told me.”

“Will you be okay?”

A smile pulls at her lips. “I’ll survive, I’m sure.”

I won’t, not that I tell her that. Instead, I ask, “You remember Nico and Aviva, right?”

I swear I can see her pulse in her neck. I want to kiss it. Suck on it. But then, why is she so nervous? I’m only asking about our friends. “Of course.”

“Well, they’re having a party for their youngest’s birthday this weekend, and we’re invited.”

“You mean, you were invited.”

“Sure, but you and Arwen are an extension of me,” I say, and that has her looking up at me, her face almost white as her eyes plead with mine.

“Are we now?”

“Yeah,” I say simply, and she exhales.

I guess she’s not in the mood to fight the inevitable, and she asks, “Do they know about us?”

“Absolutely.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That I got back in contact with you and found out we had a kid together.”

Her eyes widen. “So now, everyone not only thinks I’m a whore, but also a whore who hid your kid.”

I hold her gaze. “Let someone say something like that about you, and they’ll have an appointment with the dentist on Monday.”

Her face flushes, her eyes dilating as she gazes up at me. “Thatcher, you can’t expect me to go with you.”

“I do, actually.”

“I’ll be so embarrassed.”

“Why? Nothing of the past matters. Only that we came to the party and brought our little girl. Oh, and a gift. We’ll have that.”

She looks unsure of herself as she shifts her gaze away from me. “There you go with that ‘we’ again.”

“At least you’re not denying it,” I say with a smirk, which she glares at.

“I planned to do just that.”

I wink at her. And no matter how hard she tries to keep them still, her lips curve up. “Sure, you were.”

She looks away again, shaking her head as a scowl comes over her face. “I don’t know, Thatcher.”

“Please,” I ask softly. “I want to show you guys off.”

She scoffs at that. “I’m not worth?—”

“Don’t do that,” I interrupt, my heart in my throat. “Don’t say that. You know it’s not true, and if I made you feel like that, then my next question, you just need to say yes to.”

Her brows pull in, her lips pursing as she kicks at the marble floor. “What?”

“I’d like to take you out, if you’ll let me.”

I watch her shoulders go taut, and I know she’s chewing on the inside of her lip. “It’s probably for the best. For us to talk in private.”

I don’t like that at all. “I don’t want it to be for the best. I want you to want to go to spend time with me.”

“Thatcher,” she whispers, her body trembling beside mine. “Don’t you see how much this terrifies me?”

“I do,” I say, staying where I am so I don’t attack her to make it all better. “But can’t you see that I just want a chance to explain myself, to show you what I wanted before I made a jackass of myself?”

She presses her lips together. “I don’t know.”

Unable to resist, I turn so that my front meets her side. She looks up at me as I snake an arm around her to pull her to me. She struggles only a tiny bit before she is plastered to my chest, her eyes on me as she sucks in big lungfuls of air. I lean in so that our foreheads almost touch. Our noses are so close, just as close as our lips, but I don’t allow mine to touch hers. I only want to be near her, for her to see the desperation in my eyes. Her eyes are full of lust as she gazes up at me, heaving air in and out.

“ Dushen’ka ,” I practically plead, “give me a chance to show you how good it can be between us.”

“Thatcher, I know how good it can be. But I also know how bad it can be.”

I’m shaking my head before she even finishes her sentence. “That won’t happen ever again. I will never allow myself to take my fears and anger out on you like that.”

“You can’t say that. I’m going to piss you off at some point.”

“You’re right and I’ll do the same to you, but we’ll communicate.”

She scoffs. “’Cause we’re so great at communication. Even our families know we suck when it comes to each other.”

“So, let’s change that,” I say, holding her gaze. I brush her jaw with my thumb. “I’m communicating my need to take you to this party so that everyone can see our gorgeous daughter with her parents.” The pride in that sentence slams into me. I want that. I want to be Arwen’s parents, not just her biological dad and mom, but her parents who are together, if that makes sense. “Still communicating,” I tell her and her lips curve. “I need to take you out. I need to sit across from you, without prying ears and a little girl who demands our attention, to spill my guts to you.”

“Your guts?”

“My whole fucking soul,” I answer, moving my hand up to brush my thumb along her jaw. “I should have done it so long ago.”

She takes in a deep breath, her eyes locked on mine, and I can feel her heart thudding against my chest. “I’m communicating that I’m scared I’ll fall desperately in love with you.”

My heart promptly explodes at her admission. “Good. That’s what I want.” Her eyes widen. “Say yes, Audrina. Go to the party with me, and then let me take you out before I leave for a week.”

Her lip trembles, but I can see the excitement in her eyes.

The love for me.

And I feel like I just scored a game-seven winner in the play-offs when she whispers, “Okay.”