Page 9 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

LIAM

Producer: What’s a red flag you couldn’t ignore when you first start dating someone?

Liam: Dishonesty.

BB

Good morning, looking forward to our date!

I think about the cameras and remind myself to speak my thoughts out loud, “B definitely seems excited to connect again, and their eagerness is starting to rub off on me—just a little. I’ve never been one for overbearing or clingy partners.

So much of my work on the farm is independent, and I can’t have someone expecting a response from me 24/7.

I need space, and I’m still not sure if B’s energy is something that complements mine or if it’s going to exhaust me, but I guess we’ll find out. ”

I went on two more dates last night before I hit my social limit.

I could’ve crammed more in, but I knew I’d get overwhelmed and wouldn’t give anyone a fair shot.

I also know that I only have so much time before the dating part of the experience is up and I need to pick a match or go home alone— obviously not the goal .

Today, I’ll get through the rest, which still feels like a lot, but I’m hoping for some actual clarity on who I want to keep talking to.

It’s only two and a half hours total this morning that I need to talk to people.

Then I’ll have freedom to spend time just talking to who I want.

I talked to JR again last night, and I think we’re going to be really good friends.

I picked them because our first ten-minute conversation felt so easy, and the second conversation was the same.

I don’t feel a connection in a romantic way, but in the kind of way where you meet someone and immediately think, Oh yeah, this person’s going to be part of my life.

There was no pressure or awkwardness, and I felt like I could actually breathe for the first time during one of these dates.

We spent half our time talking about the show itself.

Then we somehow got onto the topic of bad dates, which led to JR telling me about the time a date took them to a cemetery for a “romantic” nighttime stroll and then tried to perform a spoken-word poem about soulmates next to someone’s gravestone. I was actually crying from laughing.

By the time the timer buzzed, I didn’t feel like I was cutting off a date—I felt like I was just hanging up on a really fun conversation with a friend.

I decided then and there that they’re staying in my rotation, not for romance, but because this show would be unbearable without at least one person I can fully be myself around and go to for comfort.

Speaking of dates today, I need to message B back.

LM

Me too !

Simple, but it’s a response. And I added an exclamation point so that’s got to count for something.

I finish getting ready and make my way to the second bedroom to start my dates.

There was a producer who stopped by yesterday to set some things up, and they left flash cards full of icebreaker questions.

I didn’t use them with JR since the conversation flowed so naturally, but I think on my first date with AP, they might have used them a time or two.

I wonder if I’ll need them with B, or if they’ll just talk about football again for the entire thirty minutes.

I take a deep breath as I hear the distorted sound of the door closing coming from the speaker.

“Hello, L?” the robotic voice asks.

“Hi, B. I’m here,” I reply.

“I’m so excited to talk with you again. I’m glad we matched. I realized last time I talked so much, and I’d love to hear more about you this time.”

Interesting. They seem to be making an effort to balance the conversation, so that’s a good sign. Maybe they really were just nervous and talking about something that was easy for them. I can’t say I blame them. Speed dating so many people in one sitting was completely draining.

“That’s nice of you to say,” I reply, leaning back into the loveseat. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything, really,” B says, their enthusiasm bubbling through the voice distortion. “I realized after our first conversation that I barely know anything about you, but I left wanting to know more. So, tell me, what’s something you’re passionate about?”

“My farm, mostly,” I say. “It’s my whole life. I grew up helping my dad run it, and now I’m working on taking over full-time. It’s hard work, but I love it. It’s really important to me to find someone who understands and appreciates that.”

B makes what I assume is a thoughtful hum. “That’s really cool. Farm life sounds so interesting—like, you actually get to live off the land and be self-sufficient. That’s gotta feel rewarding.”

I nod even though they can’t see me, but I know the cameras can. “It is. But it’s also exhausting in the best way; there’s always something that needs to be done. A lot of people romanticize the idea of farm life, but it’s not all front porch swings and sunsets over an open field.”

It sounds like B chuckles. “I love a good sunset, but I get that it’s real work. I spend a lot of my time helping my mom with charity work. I think that’s why I love sports so much, it’s my escape and my way of feeling like I’m part of something bigger.”

They help their mom with charity work? Maybe they don’t work since they didn’t mention anything about a job…

I won’t bring that up yet, though. I’ve wondered how everyone else was able to drop everything and come on the show.

It could be a touchy subject, maybe they had to quit or were fired if they couldn’t get the time off.

The last thing I want is to make them feel uncomfortable.

“That makes sense. I think everyone needs something like that—an outlet,” I admit.

“Exactly! It’s less about the game and more about the experience. The connection, the energy, the people. That’s why I love it.”

It’s the first time I think I understand BB’s perspective. I still don’t relate to it, but at least now I’m able to move past it just reminding me of my ex. I think we both have outlets, just in different ways.

Admittedly, I probably should have an outlet that isn’t the farm because that’s where I spend most of my time, and it’s not exactly a hobby.

It’s my job and my entire life. I guess I have woodworking, but that’s more to make extra cash during the winter when the farm is quiet even if I do like it.

So I don’t know if I could call that a hobby.

I just haven’t found my thing yet. I don’t choose to go to the gym because I do enough physical activity on the farm, and that type of “working out” feels much better than spending my time trapped inside.

I also don’t like sports— obviously— so I’ve never been interested in joining any adult leagues, despite my best friend John trying to convince me that his kickball beer league is a good time.

He asked me almost every summer until he moved away.

Maybe I’ll focus on finding a new hobby when I’m back, or maybe I’ll pick one up from my future partner I’m hoping to find on this show.

The idea of doing something together sounds nice.

B pulls me out of my thoughts and surprises me when they say, “But enough about sports. We could do a lightning round with the cards they left in our rooms—might be fun. What do you think?” I like that they’re considering my wants and actually asking me, instead of assuming.

I pick up the pile of cards in my room and flip through them quickly. Nothing looks too bad, so I say, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

We take turns pulling cards, asking each other questions like, “What’s your love language?” and “What’s your biggest green flag in a partner?” The conversation starts feeling more like a fun game than an interrogation, which makes it easier.

Some of the questions dig a little deeper.

“What’s a hard no for you in relationships?

” and “Are you more of a go-with-the-flow dater or do you like to have a plan?” Others are more life-focused, leading us into easy back-and-forths.

“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?

” and “If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

Before I know it, we’ve gone through half the deck—not that it was a big deck—and the conversation actually feels effortless. Fun, even .

I learn that B’s love language is physical touch, while mine is acts of service. And based on my earlier thoughts, I’d say my second love language is likely quality time, just like his .

“Oh, so you’re the kind of person who’s always offering to do little things for your partner?” B asks. “Like planning a date, or cooking, or bringing your partner coffee, things like that?”

“I’d like to be,” I admit. “For me, it’s about showing I care by making life a little easier for the person I’m with. If I’m into you, I’m probably making sure the coffee is set the night before or planning meals and cooking so we don’t end up stuck in the constant ‘what’s for dinner’ debate.”

“That’s sweet,” B says. “I’ve got to admit, I’m not sure I’d be the best at that.

I’m trying to do better, but I’ve been a little forgetful in the past, which I’m working on.

I think it’ll be easier when I find the right person, though.

For me, I just want to be close to them.

Like, casual touches, cuddling, sitting next to each other on the couch, all of that.

I’m usually snuggling with my dog whenever I’m at home, and I think I’m going through withdrawals already. ” They laugh again.

Physical touch isn’t something I dislike by any means, but it’s never been the first thing I look for in a relationship. It’s interesting how people show love in such different ways.

We talk about their dog, Lucky, for a while, and I learn that B’s biggest green flag—other than getting along with Lucky—is someone who can communicate well, and that’s something we easily agree on.

For me, it’s not just about talking—it’s about being open, honest, and willing to have the tough conversations.

Emotional openness is just as important, and I know exactly where I got that from.

“My dad never believed in bottling things up. Growing up, he made sure I knew it was okay to express how I felt, whether I was frustrated, overwhelmed, or just needed to talk something out. He wasn’t one of those emotionally distant ‘toughen up’ types.

If something was wrong, he’d sit with me, work through it, and remind me that ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them go away,” I tell B.

That’s probably why I have no patience for people who shut down, or refuse to communicate, or simply lack depth. I don’t need constant emotional deep dives, but I do need honesty. A relationship should feel like a partnership, not a puzzle you’re trying to solve with half the pieces missing.

That also might be why I’ve had such a hard time dating in the real world because it always seems like everyone wants you to be a mind reader. Here, you actually have to talk about what you want, and I’ve really appreciated that part so far.

Another thing we agree on immediately is that a hard no in any relationship is lying. It’s one of the quickest ways for me to lose trust in someone, and B feels the same way.

Along with their admission that they’ve been forgetful in past relationships, B admits that they struggle with keeping up with time and that they’re sometimes late for things as a result.

I appreciate the honesty. It’s refreshing to hear someone own up to a personal flaw instead of pretending they’ve got it all together.

I’d rather know up front than be frustrated later when plans don’t happen on time.

Where I love to plan, B says they like to be spontaneous, which I can see.

They seem like the type of person who loves to chase experiences without worrying about logistics.

Not sure how that would translate to farm life, but they didn’t hate the idea of hard work when I mentioned it, so maybe that’s a good sign.

“So, if I said, ‘hey, pack a bag, we’re leaving in an hour for a surprise trip,’ that’d stress you out?” B asks.

All I can do is laugh and confirm that I’d be very stressed.

“It’s not that I need a down-to-the-minute itinerary, I can go with the flow, but the farm makes it hard to just drop everything and walk away.

Coming on this show was already a huge step for me, and leaving my dad to handle things without me wasn’t easy, even though he swore it was fine.

I’m grateful I didn’t leave him hanging completely, but I still stress about it,” I admit.

There’s a high schooler who lives down the street who is always looking for extra cash.

He’s been our go-to for years, ever since he first knocked on our door at fourteen asking if we needed an extra set of hands.

Most of the properties around ours are no longer functioning farms like they were fifty years ago.

When he first started, he had no experience, but he was eager to learn, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time showing him how everything works.

He wasn’t lying about wanting to put in the work, and now he probably knows just as much as I do.

Anytime we need someone to fill in, he’s the first person we call.

It makes being away slightly less stressful, even though there isn’t much going on right now since it’s winter, but knowing my dad isn’t handling everything alone makes me feel better.

The conversation keeps shifting between different topics without the awkward pauses or one-sided conversation from our first date. It’s easier this time, and before I know it, the thirty-minute timer buzzes.

How fast it felt catches me off guard. I can’t believe how much more I enjoyed this date with them . I’d definitely been too quick to write them off and I’m glad I followed my gut and gave them a second chance.

After this final structured round, the rules change again.

There are no more timers or “forced” conversations with our picks.

We’ll be able to talk to whoever we want, for as long as we want.

In a few days, there will be another formal ‘ranking’ that will result in us having a smaller list of contestants to continue talking to.

They want to try to encourage us to focus on finding our one match, but until then, how we spend our time is up to us.

And to my complete surprise, I think I’m actually looking forward to planning another date with B.